Chapter 9 #5
You see what was happening? You see… something was wrong with Lakeland?
She was my heart too. I had two. Three if we counted my momma.
I was down to one and He had taken her from me, too.
I didn’t have room for another. I didn’t have the emotional capacity to handle another heart outside of my body.
Exodus… he had that potential. I didn’t want it.
I’d die before I loved again. I’d die before someone else became my heart and He just took them from me.
“Ay,” Exodus said, thick brows furrowed, concern written on his face.
He approached me.
I kept pacing.
Phone kept ringing.
Delicately, he took the phone from me. I didn’t stop him. I didn’t want it in my hands anymore anyway.
Before answering it, he looked at me for reassurance I didn’t give him. Reassurance I couldn’t give him. I was spaced out. My heart bro… it ached.
Meech.
Hello?
Please… somebody tell me something. Is Lake okay? Please.
Silence.
Fucking silence.
“Hello?” said Exodus, answering my phone. “X… yeah, she right here but she’s shaken up—can’t come… yeah… what happened?” He paused and looked at me with dipped brows, shaking his head. “Alright… I’ll—I’ll tell her.”
About a second or so later, he hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed. Without warning… without hesitation… he approached me and said, “Your cousin Lakeland… she locked up.”
Almost immediately, the room stopped spinning and my head got lighter. I stopped pacing. Sucked in air and frowned.
“What?”
“Yeah, apparently—”
I walked off. Marched over to the bed and snatched my phone up to call Alani’s stupid, dick sucking, cum guzzling, dick in the booty, loose pussy ass.
Exodus started to say something but I put my finger up, cutting him off.
“Damn, about time—”
“Broken heart emoji? 911? Bitch are you fucking stupid?”
“It is heart breaking. And it is an emergency. Did yo’ nigga even tell you what happened?
Lake damn near killed Five last night. He’s in the hospital in critical condition.
She hit him in the head with a frying pan.
That cast iron one. That nigga probably will never be the same again.
This ain’t no lil shit. Cuz about to do time behind that shit because he fucked up.
His momma said his words slurring and he can barely walk and—
I hung up on her and brushed my hand over the top of my head.
What the fuck was happening? I needed to sit down.
So, I sat. I sat at the foot of the bed and stared off.
I thought my homegirl was dead. I thought I lost another piece of my heart.
My God that was terrifying. Glancing away from the door, up at him, I sighed.
I didn’t like that.
Couldn’t imagine feeling what I felt a second ago for another human fucking being.
I needed to leave Exodus alone. I had to leave Exodus alone.
He didn’t live a normal life. He wasn’t in the streets, but he was involved and the road we were heading down…
it was serious. I knew because I knew. Didn’t need clarification or for him to come out and tell me he wanted me to know.
I felt shit. I knew shit. I read the fuck out of energy and whatever it was between us… it was deep.
I had to—as my momma used to say—nip that shit in the bud.
Today.
He approached.
I put my hand up.
“I’m cool. Just… a little shaken up,” I told him.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Felt.”
“I need a minute… okay?”
“Aight. Breakfast finished. I’m probably about to head out,” he paused and looked at his watch. “Got some shit to handle.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling a tinge of loneliness already.
I didn’t want him to leave.
Our eyes met. Mine softened. His hardened. Not in a way that was threatening but in a piercing way. One that said, ‘I’m here’. One that said, ‘I got you’. One that said ‘Listen… can you hear me without words?’.
I could.
I could feel him.
He cared.
He cared so fucking much.
Too much.
I looked away.
“Call me if you need me,” he said, breaking the silence.
“I will.”
I wanted to tell him I needed him now. Wanted to tell him I needed one of those big hugs. But I was nipping shit in the bud, remember? So, I said nothing as I watched him walk out of the room.
Once he was out, I fell back on the bed, put my eyes to the ceiling and bawled.
I laid there for a good fifteen minutes, crying my eyes out until I felt like enough was enough. Sitting up, I felt around my bed for my phone and carried it to the bathroom with me. While I was in there, I played a calming sound bowl video on YouTube while I brushed my teeth and washed my face.
Once I was finished in the bathroom, I went to get First Lady up.
Surprisingly, she was sitting on side of the bed staring out of the window at that red cardinal that visited her each morning.
I sat in a chair, across from the bed, with her for about five minutes, playing that sound bowl video, before I told her it was time for breakfast.
When we got to the kitchen, I looked around for the food, surprised to see that it was pretty tidy. He’d cleaned up after himself. Since the food wasn’t out, I assumed it was in the microwave. When I opened its door, I gasped, caught off guard by the corn dogs sitting on a plate.
Homemade sausage and pancake corn dogs.
Bro.
Exodus made me home made corn dogs.
Nipping shit in the bud was going to be hard as hell.