Chapter 6 #2
When it came to Jada though, I kept her away because shit…
her energy wasn’t always right. She came around one time and put on a facade.
Got overly sweet. Started to overdo it, trying to impress OG.
That was years ago. Before we moved moms out here.
When I was fresh out from behind them walls.
After that, I said nah… it’s a dub on shorty.
I was big on authenticity and she lacked that.
Which was crazy as fuck to me because she was trying to impress a woman who wasn’t even all the way there mentally.
Fuck was she putting on for someone who didn’t even know she was there?
Jada sucked her teeth. “I wish you would let that go. I was nervous.”
“Nah,” I snorted. “You was fake as fuck.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Shid,” I paused, smirking at Bernie Mac’s dumb ass. God rest his soul. We lost a legend, for sure. “Don’t you got about five hundred k followers? Talk to them mafuckas.”
Again, she sucked her teeth. I hated that shit so fuckin’ bad, bro.
“Six hundred, thirty two k,” she corrected. “And I don’t want to talk to them. I don’t want to talk at all.”
I shifted my eyes from the TV, to the phone. As expected, she was biting her bottom lip, on freak shit. I slouched down a little into the couch cushion, smirking at her. “And you think you about to come over here and eat dick while my ma in the next room?”
She grunted, slammed her hand on the mattress, having a tantrum like a little ass girl. “You get on my nerves.”
“You love it though.”
Rolling her eyes, she shrugged. “I guess. Can we do lunch tomorrow? Something? I’m bored, X.”
“What you do today?” I asked, shifting the conversation.
She placed a piece of her honey blond hair behind her ear. “Um.”
I stared at her, waiting for her to tell me what she’d done all day.
I knew. I just wanted to see if she would be honest. If Jada was smart—which sometimes I wasn’t too sure if she was—she’d keep it one hundred with me.
Her nerves and hesitation told me she wouldn’t.
I didn’t press though. I stared and waited.
Watched as she pulled her lips into her mouth.
Noticed when she looked off. And when she looked up at the ceiling, I noticed that too. She was nervous as fuck.
“I crossed the bridge.”
“What you do tho’?”
“You know what I did if I crossed the bridge, Exodus.”
I shook my head. “Nah, I don’t. Enlighten me, baby doll.”
“Exodus,” she pouted.
She went across the bridge. To see her pops. Without an escort. Without a proper escort at least. I had eyes on Jada. Kept eyes on her. Even when she didn’t think I did. I was a busy nigga. Couldn’t be everywhere at once. So, I had other people step in at places I couldn’t.
“I saw my daddy.”
“TikTok see him too?” I challenged.
She growled out of frustration. “I thought we weren’t talking about that anymore.”
“We’re not. I’m asking.”
TikTok saw pops for sure. She just uploaded the video from today a couple of hours ago and she’d already had over two hundred thousand views, comments out the ass, and likes too.
I didn’t just keep tabs on her in real life—I kept tabs on her on that internet shit too.
I wasn’t a creepy nigga. I didn’t like to invade her privacy or shit like that.
But I had to. You think for one second that I’d allow my bitch to be on social media, in my crib, without doing my due diligences?
Fuck no. I had too much to lose. Too much going on.
I couldn’t just take Jada’s word for it when she said she was being careful.
“Yes, Exodus. I recorded him. But we went out. I didn’t just—I didn’t just get him like that. I picked him up. We went to Target, Milo’s, and I got him a phone too. It was a whole little day. I didn’t—“
“You took your crackhead daddy across the bridge, parading him around all them fuck ass white people in Target. Then took him to Milo’s to sit in them peoples restaurant, most likely smelling like ass.
With a camera in his face. Then when you got enough footage for the day, you dropped him back off at the spot.
Don’t dress it up like you did some charity work or some shit, J. ”
By the time I was done talking, she had tears in her eyes.
Crying was her go to. However, I wasn’t moved by it.
Jada was just… man, she was misguided as hell.
Despite the lame shit she’d been on, she was a sweetheart and really did miss her pops.
That social media shit just had her head gone.
Everything Jada was getting was what she always wanted.
So of course, it had her moving the way she’d been moving.
Attention becomes a dangerous drug when you let it get to you.
“It wasn’t even like that. You always—
“I’m always what?” I cut in. “Trying to get you to see pass the superficial, top layer shit? You don’t think about anybody but Jada for real.
It ain’t even just about you takin’ yo pops across the bridge down like that.
You know what them mafuckas think about us as a whole.
Just wasn’t a good look for us as a community as a whole.
You don’t give a fuck tho’. Care too much about collectin’ videos that you even went to the hood by yourself. ”
“I’m good out there!” She yelled. “You be killin me with that man…”
“Yeah, aight. You good out there,” I said with a snort. Stretching, I shifted my eyes back over to the TV. “Fed my kids?” I asked, referring to the dogs.
“Yes, I fed them, Exodus,” she softly said.
At the sound of sniffling, I looked back at the phone.
I took a deep breath, tossing my head back against the cream colored couch.
A shade moms always wanted when I was little but wouldn’t get because she had five bad ass kids dirtying shit up.
It was only right for me to get her together when we moved her here.
I stared at Jada for a good five minutes, ignoring her every time she would go ‘what X? Huh? What!?’ I just watched her.
Hating that I would literally have to explain to her.
Hating that, I was once again, having a conversation about what true respect and morals were.
Jada… because of her upbringing wasn’t the brightest. Pretty as hell.
Bout as dumb as a doorknob, high key. It took a ton of patience to deal with her.
We’d lasted this long because Jada was Jada and I didn’t mind it.
Not too much. Underneath it all was a sweet girl who just wanted to be accepted, taken care of, and loved.
Sometimes I found the naivety cute. Other times…
times like lately… I found it annoying as hell.
“J,” I called out when she dropped her head. “Regardless of where he at in life… he’s your pops—
“I know—
“Let me talk. Because this is my last time talkin’ about this,” With raised brows, I stared deeper into the camera. “You hear me?”
She nodded.
“Like I was saying… regardless of where he at in life, he’s your pops and you shouldn’t have him up on the internet bold.
You say you got on that type of time because the bitch got to talkin’ reckless in the comments.
Made you feel like you needed to prove some shit.
To mafuckas that don’t know you. Aight, bet.
Givin’ a fuck about what mafuckas think or say ain’t never been in me.
But it’s in you. Shits embedded, for real.
Always have been. I can’t wrap my mind around it but shit, it ain’t for me to understand. We individuals for a reason.
What I want for you Jada, is to never switch your pivot. Not for another mafucka. Especially if it’s in a direction you know ain’t morally right. In your spirit you had to know you were movin’ flaw. You gotta fix that, baby doll.”
By the time I finished my lil’ speech, her face was wet with tears. Makeup smeared and shit.
Sitting against the back of the couch, I tugged on my beard, watching her, deciding I’d soften my approach a little.
She didn’t know any better but… I put her up on game.
I put her up on a bunch of shit. But there were only so many conversations I’d have about morals and respect.
I was big on that. Jada knew. Because she hadn’t disrespected me in general, she probably thought it wasn’t as bad.
But it was. Because it was her pops, it was worse.
“Jada.”
“Yes, Exodus? I heard you. You never let me explain anything so—
“You couldn’t have heard me if you still comin’ at me with your feelings on your skin. Sat that shit aside and actually eat what I served. I mean, for real.”
She sighed, her slender shoulders rising and falling. Tossing her head back, she grunted and then put her eyes back on the screen. “Okay, babe. I—I’m listening. I hear you.”
I nodded, hoping she was telling the truth. I fucked with Jada. Liked what little she did bring to the table, but I wouldn’t hesitate to remove her from it if necessary.
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of my alarm. Dragging my hands down my face, I grunted and reached over to the nightstand to silence the alarm. Seven o’clock. Yawning, I sat up, closed my eyes and said my usual morning prayer: Thank you. It wasn’t much, but it was good enough.
Stretching, I grabbed my phone and checked it. Nothing. Just the way I liked it. People knew not to hit me before or after certain times. I was serious as hell about my business hours. But at around twelve, the phone was going to be jumping.