Chapter 9
Oz was pleased with his purchase. He’d stopped by the mall on his way home from work to get Logan a present.
The reason behind the gift wasn’t as pleasurable, however.
They’d been informed that they’d be heading out to Somalia tomorrow.
So he needed to prepare Logan and let him know he’d be staying with Gillian while he was gone.
It was another upheaval in the boy’s life, and Oz was more than aware that it wasn’t fair. Logan deserved a stable home, and with Oz, he wouldn’t get that. But he was loved, and that would have to be enough for now.
It had been just over a week since they’d taken Grover’s barn down, and Logan seemed more and more comfortable in his new home.
He didn’t seem as easygoing outside their apartment, but the boy wouldn’t say what, if anything, was wrong.
Oz had decided to just go with the flow and not push the boy too hard to open up.
If something was going on at school, he hoped he’d tell him or Riley about it sooner rather than later.
Brain and Aspen had gotten married the other day.
He’d left for lunch, and when he arrived back on post two hours later, he was wearing a ring and was married.
They’d gone down to the courthouse and had a short and easy ceremony.
They weren’t planning on having a reception, but instead promised to have a huge baby shower closer to the time when she was due.
Things with Riley were going great. She stayed for dinner every night, and then he’d walk her to her apartment and make out with her for a while before reluctantly leaving her to enjoy a couple hours with Logan before it was time for him to go to sleep.
The situation wasn’t exactly ideal, but Oz was trying to be patient. Because of how much time they’d been spending getting ready to deploy, Oz hadn’t had the heart to ask one of his friends to come over and stay with Logan while he took Riley out. She understood, but it still bothered Oz.
And now he’d be gone for an indeterminate period of time, and he just hoped Riley wouldn’t give up on him before they’d even really started dating.
It was hard enough to have a relationship as a special forces operative, add in a child and things got exponentially more difficult.
But Oz had never given up in his life, and he wasn’t about to start now.
He unlocked his door to a beautiful sound. Laughter.
Logan and Riley were in his living room, and they hadn’t heard or noticed him coming in.
Their heads were bent over her phone and it sounded like they were watching a video.
As he watched, Riley sat back and nodded at his nephew.
Logan hopped up and began doing some sort of weird dance; it looked more like jerking and undulating than actual dancing.
It only lasted about fifteen seconds, then they were both laughing again, and Logan came forward to check out the video Riley had made.
The laughter began once more, and Riley said, “That’s perfect, Logan! Good job!”
“What’s perfect?” Oz asked.
Both boy and woman startled at hearing his voice, then Riley laughed again.
“Hi! We didn’t see you come in!”
That much was obvious, and Oz smiled at her. “What’cha doin’?”
“Oh, it’s a dance challenge on TikTok,” Riley told him.
“Which means nothing to me,” Oz said ruefully. “What’s TikTok?”
“It’s an app, and everyone posts stuff on there,” Logan informed him.
“Ah,” Oz said. He had a lot of learning to do about what was cool for kids these days. One thing Logan living with him had done was make him feel completely out of touch with popular music, TV shows, and fashion.
“We’ll do some more tomorrow,” Riley told Logan.
“Okay.”
Oz cleared his throat. He needed to break the news that he’d be leaving, but he hated to disturb the mood.
Deciding to put it off for just a while longer, he walked back to the door, where he’d left the present for Logan.
All kids liked presents, and while this was more on the practical side than something frivolous, he hoped his nephew would still like it.
“I got you something today,” he said as he wheeled the suitcase into the room.
He’d gone to the mall—which was a huge sacrifice, because he hated that damn place—and had found the perfect suitcase for Logan.
It was white and decorated to look like a baseball.
It was a bit smaller than Oz would’ve liked, but he couldn’t pass it up.
Logan stared at the suitcase for a long moment.
But instead of being pleased with the gift, he looked as if he was about to cry.
“Slugger?” Oz asked, concern blossoming through him.
“I hate you!” Logan cried in a tone Oz had never heard from him before. It was full of pain and anger, and it was clear the lighthearted mood he’d walked in on had been obliterated.
Logan didn’t give Oz a chance to reply, he ran past him and to his room, slamming the door as hard as he could.
Wincing, Oz looked from the hallway to Riley, then back to where his nephew had disappeared. He literally had no idea what to say, because he had no idea what he’d done wrong.
Riley stood and walked toward him slowly, her brows drawn in concern.
“I don’t understand what just happened,” Oz admitted.
Riley took both of his hands in hers and asked gently, “Why a suitcase?”
“Because we just got word that we’re being deployed tomorrow. He has to go to Gillian’s while I’m gone, and I didn’t want him to have to use a damn plastic bag again.”
Riley’s face smoothed out, and she put one of her hands on the side of his face.
“The first time I was taken out of my parents’ house, I had to use a garbage bag to put some stuff in because we literally didn’t have a suitcase.
I was confused and scared about what was happening.
But after a while, I settled into the foster home I was in.
Until one day, my foster mom came home with a suitcase.
She told me I had to pack, that I was leaving.
I didn’t know where I was going, all I knew was that suitcase signaled another change in what was a very confusing time.
I…I think Logan saw the suitcase and thought you were kicking him out. That he has to leave.”
Oz blinked in shock, then shut his eyes as agony coursed through his body. He hadn’t meant for Logan to think he was being kicked out. Not at all.
He’d fucked up. Big time.
Opening his eyes, he lifted Riley’s hand from his cheek, kissed the palm, then immediately turned and headed down the hallway.
He knocked on Logan’s door and heard his nephew yell, “Go away! I’m not done packing yet!”
Knowing he had to fix this—now—Oz opened the door.
Logan was standing in front of his closet, ripping his shirts and pants off hangers and throwing them behind him toward the bed.
“Logan, stop and listen to me,” Oz said in a low, anguished tone.
“No! I won’t! You made me think you wanted me, that I was here to stay! But I should’ve known better! Mom always said you were so great, but obviously she didn’t know you at all!”
Oz was done. The pain in his nephew’s words ate at his heart. He loved that Becky had mentioned him at all to her kid, but he needed Logan to understand what had just happened.
He walked into the room and turned Logan so he was facing him. He held his arms tightly, but not painfully, so he had no choice but to look at him.
“I bought you that suitcase because I thought you’d like it. That it would remind you of me. I’m the one leaving, Logan, not you.”
The boy had been struggling to get out of his uncle’s grasp, but at his words, he stilled.
“That’s right. I have to head out on a mission tomorrow.
We never usually get a lot of notice, and this time is no different.
I knew it was coming, but I had hoped to have a couple more weeks with you before it did.
I’ve arranged for you to stay with Gillian while I’m gone, because you obviously can’t stay here by yourself, but when I get home, you’re coming back here.
I’m not kicking you out. You’re a part of me, and I’m never letting you go.
I love you, Logan—so much it scares the hell out of me. ”
“I don’t have to leave?” Logan asked quietly.
“No. Not for good. Just while I’m deployed,” Oz said.
“I’m so sorry. The suitcase was a stupid idea.
I wasn’t thinking. I should’ve known how it would make you feel.
I’m not very good at this uncle thing yet, and I’m probably going to screw up a lot more.
But my heart is in the right place. I’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose.
I love you, Slugger. Can you forgive me? ”
“You’re apologizing?” Logan asked uncertainly.
“Yes. When I mess up, I’m gonna apologize. It’s what men do when they make mistakes. I’m sorry I made you feel as if I don’t want you here. I like coming home to you. You’ve made my life not so lonely. Please tell me you forgive me.”
Logan nodded, but his forehead scrunched up. “Is your mission gonna be dangerous?”
Oz sighed. “I won’t lie to you, Slugger, almost every mission has an element of danger to it.
But you’ve met my teammates, they have my back.
We all have big reasons to come home safe and sound.
Trigger’s got Gillian, Lefty has Kinley, Brain has Aspen and now his unborn baby.
And the other guys have family and loved ones too.
We aren’t out there being crazy and unsafe. ”
“How long will you be gone?” Logan asked.