Chapter 14 #2
“I’m not an expert,” Spencer said, “and I’ve said some pretty shitty things to you in the past, but I’m thinking none of that was your fault. You didn’t ask to get leukemia, and I would think a kid being that sick would strain the best of relationships.”
“I guess. But regardless…what I wanted was for you to get help, Spencer. Then, if it ever came up, you could tell the others, ‘I had a problem, but I’m better now.’ Are you better now?” Devyn couldn’t help but ask.
Spencer looked down at his lap. For the first time, she noticed how tired her brother looked. He had dark circles under his eyes and she wasn’t sure his clothes had been washed recently.
“Spence? Are you okay?”
“No,” he said softly. “I didn’t want to do it…but it was too tempting.”
When he didn’t elaborate, Devyn asked, “What was?”
“Fred was at work, and I knew my time was running out. He has one of those money jars…you know, where you throw your spare change? You had one too, back in Missouri. Well, there were also bills in there. I went through it, taking the quarters and the paper money…as well as some of his DVDs. I knew I wouldn’t get a lot for them, but I pawned them anyway. ”
He looked up then, and Devyn could see the desperation in her brother’s eyes.
“I went to an underground gambling hall. I knew if I just had the chance, I could win the money back and more. And I could at least make enough to give Rocky a down payment on what I owed him.”
Devyn’s stomach clenched. She’d had a small hope that her brother had finally realized how destructive gambling was, but apparently he hadn’t. “Is Rocky the loan shark guy from Missouri?”
Spencer nodded. “Yeah. But, I didn’t win. Again. I don’t know why I keep thinking my luck will change. I’m in big trouble, sis. I know I already told you that on the phone, but I owe Rocky a lot of money, and he’s getting impatient. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what not to do,” Devyn said, a little harsher than she’d intended. “Don’t steal any more money from Fred. Gambling is what got you into this mess; you aren’t going to get back what you owe by throwing away more cash.”
“You don’t understand,” Spencer mumbled. “I know I can do it. But since casino gambling is illegal down here in Texas, I had to make do with a second-rate underground circuit. I’m sure they’ve got a racket going. Have their games set up to fail.”
“Spencer, they’re all set up to favor the house. Literally everywhere! You aren’t going to win. And if you do, it’s only going to be a few bucks here and there, just enough to make you think you’re on a lucky streak, and to make you continue to bet.”
Her brother shook his head. “You don’t understand—” he started.
“No,” Devyn interrupted, angry now. “You don’t understand.
I would think being in debt to this loan shark guy, your life literally in danger, would finally help you get your head out of your ass!
You need help. Gambling is an addiction, just like drugs.
You can’t kick this on your own, and even if I forced you into rehab, it wouldn’t work until you’re ready to change your life. ”
Spencer turned his head and stared at her for a long moment. His shoulders were hunched and he looked like he’d hit rock bottom. Then he said, “I need to pay Fred back. Can you help me? Anything will help at this point.”
Devyn wanted to cry. “What were you apologizing for when you first sat down?” she asked, needing to know. He never really said earlier when she’d asked.
“For hurting you that last time. I didn’t mean to push you so hard.”
“And?”
“That’s it.”
Devyn’s throat closed up and she stood, heading into the kitchen so her brother wouldn’t see her cry.
She’d thought he was apologizing for asking her for so much money.
While she appreciated the fact that he was sorry for pushing her, that wasn’t what she wanted.
She wanted her older brother back. The one who was protective and who cared about her, not how much he could get from her.
Not once since he’d walked in had he asked how she was doing. How she liked Texas. Or even about Lucky. He obviously knew she was dating him, since he’d come to Lucky’s townhouse to see her, but it was as if he just didn’t care.
He was as selfish as ever.
Ever since Spencer had come into the townhouse, Angel had given her brother a wide berth. But she walked into the kitchen now as Devyn did her best to regain her composure.
“What am I gonna do, sis?” Spencer asked as he followed, leaning against the other side of the island.
“About what?” she asked, doing her best to get control over her emotions.
“About Rocky. He wants his money.”
“I don’t know,” Devyn told him, bending down to pet Angel’s head.
The dog was leaning against her legs, and Devyn needed the comfort as badly as the dog needed hers.
It was impressive that she hadn’t disappeared up the stairs when Spencer came in.
Angel had gotten more and more protective with Devyn over the last couple weeks, and while she was still skittish and standoffish, it was adorable how the dog wanted to stay by her side, even when she was scared.
“He’s not a good man,” Spencer went on.
“I didn’t think he was,” Devyn replied, straightening and looking her brother in the eyes. “You’re gonna have to talk to him. Explain that you’re going to get him his money, but it might take a while. You need a job, Spence. You’re going to have to earn that money the old fashioned way.”
“But it’s fifty thousand,” Spencer said, his eyes going wide. “I’m not going to be able to find a job that pays that.”
“What do you want me to say?” Devyn asked, having had enough of her brother’s idiocy.
“I don’t have fifty grand I can pull out of my back pocket and give to you to bail you out.
No one does. Not Fred. Not Mom and Dad. Not Mila or Angela.
Not that you’d ask them, would you? No, because then you’d have to explain why you need it, and that would embarrass you.
But you have no problem coming to me, because you obviously don’t give a shit about me.
You made your bed, Spencer. You’re gonna have to lie in it. ”
“He’ll hurt me,” her brother said, not seemingly moved at all by her speech.
“I. Don’t. Have. The. Money,” Devyn enunciated.
God, she wished Lucky was here. Not that she needed him to fight this battle for her, but it would’ve been nice to have him at her back.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, but I honestly don’t have a solution for you.
Borrowing more money to try to get what you need isn’t the answer either.
That obviously hasn’t worked in the past, and it won’t work now. ”
Spencer’s shoulders slumped. “So when my dead body is found, you won’t be surprised when you’re called to identify me,” he muttered.
“Don’t do that,” Devyn said fiercely. “Don’t you dare give me a guilt trip. I honestly don’t know what you want from me.”
“Five hundred,” Spencer said desperately. “I can turn that into a few thousand and can give that to Rocky. That’ll buy me some time!”
God. It always came back to this. No matter how many times she told him she didn’t have the extra money, he just didn’t stop. “No.”
“This time is different—” Spencer began, but Devyn held up her hand, stopping him.
“No,” she repeated.
Brother and sister stared at each other for a long, tense moment.
“So that’s it?” he asked.
“That’s it,” Devyn confirmed. “Maybe if you were willing to admit you have a problem, and that you wanted to get help for it, I might feel differently. I might go with you to talk to Fred and add my support. Maybe we’d see what we could do to try to raise some of the money you owe this Rocky guy.
But why should I bail you out—why should any of us—when you’re just going to turn around and do the same thing again?
“Until you admit that you have a problem, you’re always going to owe someone money.
Hell, you owe me money, Spence. I guess you’ve forgotten the couple thousand dollars I gave you before I caught on and moved away from Missouri.
I moved because of you. Because I couldn’t take your begging anymore.
Because you resorted to violence the last time I saw you!
I get that you didn’t mean to shove me so hard, but you hurt me. Do you even care?”
For the first time, she saw remorse in her brother’s eyes. “I do. I apologized for that. That’s why I came over here.”
“No, you came over because you wanted money,” Devyn said sadly.
Then, for the first time since he’d walked in, Spencer got mad. “This is bullshit! I thought family was supposed to help family!” he yelled.
Devyn’s voice rose in response. “Yeah, they are. But I have helped you. I didn’t even ask what you wanted the money for when you first started borrowing; I gave it to you without question. But that wasn’t enough. It’s never going to be enough. Don’t you get it?”
“One of these days I’m gonna hit it big, and I’m not gonna share anything with you,” Spencer seethed, smacking his hand on the countertop angrily.
Angel yelped and cowered against Devyn’s side.
And that pissed Devyn off even more. “You’ve said that before, Spencer.
But news flash—you aren’t going to hit it big.
You’re gonna end up homeless and begging for money on the streets to get your next hit.
You might as well be throwing money into the trash can, and you can’t even see it! ”
“Better to throw it away than to be miserly with it,” Spencer returned. “Besides, you’re shacking up with Lucky now. You’re trying to ride the military gravy train, admit it.”
Devyn wanted to explode. Any tears she’d shed earlier were long since dried up. “Grow up, Spencer,” she hissed. “You don’t have the first clue as to what my relationship with Lucky is. You roll into town, intent on begging for more money, and you come here and insult me? You’re a joke. Pathetic.”