Chapter 19 Cinder
CINDER
The pool engulfed me in thick, frigid…not really liquid. As soon as the splash I’d made settled, the gooey substance began to solidify like soft serve ice cream, minus the yummy, sweet taste. Sort of solid, sort of liquid.
It became a “soquid.”
I made the mistake of opening my mouth when I fell, and the salty, bitter taste of tormented souls made me gag…
but that was the least of my problems. The sludge grew colder and colder.
My heart rate slowed. Every muscle in my body ached like I had the all-time worst case of the flu and someone had beaten me with a spiked baseball bat.
What was it with Ruin making me feel like I had an autoimmune disease?
And on top of all that—the sprinkles on the soft serve—my heart wrenched and my stomach twisted as every fear, regret, and feeling of guilt I’d ever experienced escaped the recesses of my mind and rose to the surface.
All the times I’d screwed up, failed my friends and family, and made the worst decisions possible flooded my thoughts.
If I wasn’t suspended like a piece of fruit in a gelatin mold, I’d have sobbed.
Another splash shook the pool. Strong arms wrapped around me. My head breached the surface, and I gasped. With one arm around my chest, Discord dragged me out of the perilous pool and lay me on the ground.
I rolled to my side and coughed, my lungs burning as I expelled the bitter substance. The moment it hit the floor, it rolled toward the pool and dropped over the ledge. I sat up, and Discord clutched my shoulders, gazing intently into my eyes, searching my face and body for signs of injury.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Never better.” I pulled my hair over my shoulder, expecting it to be either dripping wet or full of sludge, but it was perfectly dry. My clothes were too. Weird. “Thank you for jumping in to save me.”
He returned his gaze to my eyes, his brows low, his expression solemn. “I’m afraid ‘save’ is too strong a word. Ruin now has access to our deepest fears and guilt. He will use them against us.”
“Bring it.” I rose to my feet. “I am so ready to be done with this guy.”
“As am I.” He turned in a circle. “I see no exit, aside from the staircase.”
“Maybe this is the end of the line?” I stepped toward an obsidian mirror, but it didn’t show my reflection. Inky blackness drew me closer, my gaze fixing on the swirl of blue spiraling in the center, creating the illusion of depth in the two-dimensional surface.
“This can’t be all there is.” Discord paced behind me. “Hecate must be here somewhere.”
I narrowed my eyes, staring deeper into the swirling obsidian as an image began to form. The blue expanded, forming the silhouette of a woman with long hair. Discord said something from across the room, but his words sounded muffled, like I wore invisible earplugs.
My pulse quickened, my stomach twisting and souring as the image morphed, not into my reflection, but into my sister.
“Why did you leave this time, Cin?” Ash asked, the accusation in her voice as sharp as Ember’s sword. “You made a mess of Salem and left it for us to clean up…again.”
“Again?” I flinched as if she’d slapped me. “I left to find Mom and Dad. I told you that in my letter.”
“Right. The letter that took me over a month to find because you hid it under multiple layers of spells.” She crossed her arms. “Because you always think you’re better off alone.”
Over a month? Had I really been in Hell that long? “I didn’t… I don’t like to work alone, but I—”
“But you think Em and I aren’t skilled enough to help you.
That we’ll screw up whatever it is you’re working on because we aren’t the firstborn daughter.
” She narrowed her eyes and curled her lip.
“Maybe if you hadn’t been helping Mom suppress my magic all these years, you’d have seen how powerful I really am.
You’d have seen that I should be the one in training to be high priestess because I’m the most powerful witch in Salem. ”
“What?” I blinked and shook my head, my senses coming back to me. That didn’t sound like Ash at all. The voice did, sure, but my little sister was the least competitive, most humble person I knew. She would never say that.
“Step away from the glass.” Discord clutched my wrist and gently tugged me back. “Whatever you see in there isn’t real. Ruin has fabricated it from your memories.”
My breath came out in a rush, and I swayed on my feet. “It was my sister. Ash knows I’ve been helping our mom bind her powers, and she hates me for it.”
“No. Look at me.” He tucked his finger under my chin, lifting my gaze to his. “You fear she will hate you if she finds out the truth. Ruin only sees your sisters through your lens. As strong as he is, he cannot see across the veil. No demon can.”
My lower lip trembled, so I bit it and nodded.
“She’s right,” Ember’s disembodied voice sounded all around me. “You’ve always known we’re better than you. That’s why you run off on your little side quests alone. Because you know we can do a better job, and that would make you look bad.”
“That isn’t true.” I started toward the mirror, but Discord clutched my hand, holding me in place. “I hate having to do everything alone, but that’s how high priestesses work. I have to get used to it.”
A sob rolled up from my chest, sticking in my throat. “It’s tradition.”
“You act like you’re better than us, but we know the truth.” Ember stepped from the shadows, a fully formed tulpa with long, purple hair and black leather pants. “I will always be a better fighter.”
She swung her sword in a figure eight, just like the real Ember did right before she charged at her foe. A sinister smile—the only thing un-Ember-like about the tulpa—curved her lips as she clutched her sword in both hands and fire erupted along the blade.
“Please don’t do this.” I held up my hands. “I won’t fight you.”
“Then you’ll die.” Ember ran toward me, sword blazing.
I half-expected Discord to clothesline her, but something pulled his attention away from my battle.
I sidestepped my sister, dropping and kicking out a leg.
She tripped and careened forward, catching herself on her hands.
The sword skittered across the ground before turning into smoke and reforming in her hand.
“It was done in jest,” Discord said, and I snapped my gaze toward him, where he held a man with dark hair and a goatee in a chokehold.
I didn’t have time to ponder who that might be. Ember jumped to her feet and circled me, so much hatred filling her eyes. “You’ve always looked down at me. Ash is your sweet little sister, and I’m a piece of dogshit stuck to the bottom of your shoe.”
“That’s not true, Em. I love you. I love you both.” I turned with her as she moved around me. “I coddled Ash a bit, but only because of the curse. Because her powers are bound.”
Discord grunted, and I spared him a glance. The man he fought elbowed him in the gut, and my demon shoved him against the wall.
“Save your breath, Cinder,” Discord said. “You’re arguing with your own mind.”
“Ember, you don’t want to fight me.” I laced my words with persuasion magic. “We’re sisters. We need to work together.”
She scoffed. “Says the sister who ran off to Hell alone and hooked up with a demon. Do you even consider what might be happening to us while you’re getting it on with our immortal enemy?”
My heart wrenched at her words, and a sob bubbled from my chest, lodging in my throat. “It isn’t like that.” Except, it was, and she was right. I hadn’t been trying hard enough. I should’ve been spending every spare second looking for our parents and finding a way home.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, reaching for the machete hanging from my belt. “I failed you and abandoned you.”
“And now, you’ll pay the price.” She lifted her sword above her head and swung it downward.
I defended, using the machete to counter her blade. Sparks ignited as metal hit metal, and Ember did her famous drop, spin, and kick, knocking me off my feet. I rolled, barely missing the point of her sword as she jabbed it into the ground.
I scrambled to my feet, and she lunged again, her blade nicking my arm as I parried. She swung, and I countered with the machete, knocking her aside. Discord shouted behind me, and something splashed into the pool.
I whirled around, ready to dive in and save him, but he stood on the ground, heaving breaths and shaking his head.
Ember screamed like a Valkyrie and ran toward me, sword blazing. I swung the machete, slicing into her gut, my heart breaking and my stomach turning. Her eyes widened, and she gripped her abdomen, tears streaming down her cheeks as she gaped at me and asked, “How could you?”
Dear goddess, what had I done? I raced to her side and rested a hand on her arm. “Are you okay?”
She snapped her head toward me, stepping away and lifting her sword. Discord plowed into her before she could strike, grabbing her around the waist and shoving her into the purple pool. She wailed and splashed, calling to me with sheer agony in her voice.
“Ember!” I rushed toward the pool.
“Stop.” Discord grabbed me, holding me against his chest.
I struggled against his embrace. “I have to save Ember.”
“That is not your sister.” He tightened his hold. “It was a tulpa, which Ruin created to torment you with your guilt and fear. He created one for me as well.”
“No.” The sob that had stuck in my throat finally released, and the pool’s surface stilled. I drew in a shaky breath. “She seemed so real.”
“I know. Mayhem did as well.” He stroked my hair.
“We are real.” Ash emerged from the pool, wearing her signature black corset and fishnets. Her long, blue hair hung loose around her shoulders, and she clutched a ritual dagger in each hand.
I stepped back, tightening my grip on the machete. “If you’re real, then tell me what I gave you for your birthday last year.”
“That collector’s edition signed box set?” She laughed dryly. “Pointless. I’d already read the books.”