23. Leah
Leah
Idon’t let go of Evie for a long time. Too long, considering I don’t know how much time I have before Syrus finds me. But I figure that if I’m going to be ripped away from her again, I need to savor this, my little sister, safe and well in my arms.
“Leah,” she breathes. The word is full of relief, but questions too.
“I’m sorry,” I say, mumbling into her shoulder. “I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry you had to fix everything on your ow—”
“Leah,” she says more firmly, pulling back to look at me. “Where have you been? Everyone assumed you’d left with Hathwell on that trip, but—”
“I haven’t been with Hathwell,” I say quickly. Then I wonder what I will say. Part of me wants to tell her everything. The full truth is so big and heavy that I’m suddenly not sure how I’ve been carrying it alone.
But I can’t burden her with it. If I tell her about the sorcerers and Infernum and the Lord of Malice, I might just send her into premature labor.
“I knew you couldn’t have been with him,” she says. “Nearly two months honeymooning without so much as a letter? You wouldn’t do that to me. But no one’s seen Hathwell either, and when I went to his house, it was all closed up, no servants or anything.”
No Hathwell either? Interesting. Did the sorcerers get to him? Or did he flee the city after the little party he planned for his new bride went so disastrously wrong?
“How have you been?” I ask, my hand dropping to the slight swell on her stomach. “That’s the more important question right now.”
She gives me a frustrated look, but her eyes are soft at the edges, still too glad to see me to be truly annoyed at my deflection.
“I’m good,” she says, and she looks it, round-faced and glowing, her hair tied back in a much more relaxed style than Ada would ever allow. “Much better now I know you’re all right.”
“You used the money?” I ask.
She nods. “We had enough left over to top up Jeremy’s guild license fee too. He’s not an apprentice anymore.” Pride glows on her face. Being guild licensed means so much—security, stability, freedom.
I look around the little house she lives in with her husband.
It’s sparse but has a homey feel. There’s a crocheted blanket on one of the chairs and bundles of herbs hanging over the kitchen counter.
I’m amazed by how much Evie’s achieved in such short space of time.
Leaving home, getting married, setting up a whole new life.
All of it without me. Was she right, all those weeks ago, when she told me that her problems were not mine to fix?
The thought gnaws uncomfortably in my stomach.
“And Jeremy,” I ask. “He’s…?”
“Would you like to meet him?” she asks with a shy smile.
My eyebrows shoot up. “He’s here?”
“He’s cut his hours down a little to be here with me during the pregnancy,” she says with a shrug. “We can afford it now he’s been promoted. He’s just out back.”
I follow her out to a tiny patch of garden—just big enough for a pair of chairs, a few flowerpots, and a small patch of earth I think is intended to be a vegetable patch. A stocky man with dark hair is elbow-deep, digging in the dirt.
“Jer,” Evie calls, making the nickname sound like a term of endearment. “Leah’s here.”
He looks up in surprise, but his movements are relaxed and unhurried as he climbs to his feet and dusts his hands off.
“Your sister Leah?” he asks mildly and steps over his gardening tools to reach us. “Sorry, I’m a bit muddy,” he says but still offers his large hand as if greeting me properly is more important than a little dirt.
I shake it. “Nice to meet you at last, Jeremy,” I say, trying to study his features for clues as to what kind of man he really is.
“You too, Leah. It’s been too long coming. Although Evie talks so much about you, I feel like I know you already.”
He glances at Evie then back to me, making his own assessment, I think.
“Does this mean you really were on your honeymoon and haven’t been kidnapped?” he continues, as if discussing the weather. “Because you had us worried there. Evie was so concerned about what might have happened to you that she had me on the verge of going to talk to the wardens.”
“No need to talk to the wardens,” I say a little too quickly. Now it’s my turn to look at Evie. “It’s…ah…a little complicated. But it’s good to be here now.”
He nods, slow and contemplative. “The kind of complicated that would be made more complicated—maybe even dangerous for you—if we involved the wardens?”
He’s smart. That’s good. While Evie’s eyes widen, he just seems like he’s trying to get the lay of the land.
“Maybe,” I reply, only a little wary. Evie would’ve stepped in if she thought I’d say something I shouldn’t.
“All right,” he says simply, as if that closes the matter. “Are you staying in Pax for good now?”
“I…” I struggle to answer, but I have a lot to cover with Evie and not much time. “Things are still a bit up in the air right now. Sorry, would you mind giving us a moment, Jeremy? I just need a quick word with Eves. We’ll leave you to your…vegetables?”
He smiles. “We’re hoping for some marrows. Wonderful plants.”
I could stand and talk with Jeremy about the nature of marrows for quite a while, but unfortunately, I have to usher Evie back into the house.
“He’s such a good man, Leah,” she says when we’re both inside. “He works so hard to look after us. Sacrifices so much. But he never complains. He says that having me and the baby is all the reward he needs.”
I can’t help smiling at her gushing. “He really does seem great, Eves. I’m so glad. I was so worried that…” I shake my head, unwilling to put a voice to the fears that have been plaguing me the last few months.
“And Ada?” I ask.
Evie makes a face. “I wasn’t brave, Leah. I took the coward’s way out. I left her a note the day Jeremy and I got married and never went back. By then, he had his guild’s license, and there was nothing they could do, especially with the baby.”
I nod. Kicking up a fuss with the authorities would only make the dirty secret public. Ada would rather pretend she never had a daughter than have word spread about babies out of wedlock and rushed licenses and butcher’s apprentices.
“But that’s enough about me,” Evie says sternly. “What’s going on? Why are you avoiding the wardens? Are you in trouble?”
“No…” I say, wondering how I’m going to explain anything. “No, I’m not in trouble.”
“Leah,” Evie says, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard her voice so forceful. “I know you might not have wanted to get into things in front of Jer, but I could feel you had a knife on your belt the moment you hugged me. Where is Hathwell?”
“I don’t know,” I say truthfully. “If he’s disappeared, then he’s either running from something or it’s already caught up with him. I think he was involved in some bad stuff. Illegal things.”
“Did he hurt you?” she asks, eyes wide.
I hesitate too long, but it’s a difficult question to answer.
I don’t know for sure if Hathwell was there that night in the chamber.
Maybe he was one of the sorcerers who got away, or maybe he was never there at all.
I’ve avoided thinking about that night, but now as I try to find a version of it to tell Evie, I recall what I heard when I woke up on the table, things I didn’t really process in the moment.
They said it “needs to work this time,” I’m sure of it.
Muttering about mistakes made in the past and double-checking things.
I’d been suspicious of Hathwell before our engagement because of the rumors about his first wife.
If he is involved with the sorcerers, was his first wife also his first attempt at the summoning ritual?
Did she die on that same table where I was sacrificed?
The thought sends a chill up my spine, but it stays and lingers at the base of my neck, building into an unnatural pressure. My mouth goes dry. Syrus is close. I can feel it.
“Leah, what’s wrong?” Evie says, her voice tight with worry. “What did he do to you?”
“Nothing,” I say shaking my head. “The important thing is I got away, and I’m not going back.
Listen, Evie, I don’t have much time,” I grab hold of her arms, seizing upon the small bit of truth I can give her.
“I’m working a job for someone, and when I’m done, I can come back to you, and I’ll have enough coin to live however I want. ”
The pressure of Syrus breaking down my walls is growing, bearing down on my shoulders like a physical weight. I attempt a reassuring smile for Evie’s sake. “Until then, I don’t know if it’s safe for me to come by again.”
“But Leah, what do you mean?” Her face crumples, eyes starting to fill with tears. She can sense my urgency, and it’s panicking her. “If it’s not safe, then don’t go back! Stay here with us. Let me help you—”
I shake my head, hating that I’ve scared her, but I don’t have time to fix that now.
My words come fast. “I’ll be all right. I promise.
But until I can come back, if anything happens with you and Jeremy, go find a man called Hodges Laikar.
Hear me? He lives on Post Street on the south bank.
Tell him who you are and he’ll help you. Okay?”
Pins and needles sweep through my limbs as the pressure of denying Syrus rises, demanding entrance to my mind. It’s like I’m holding my breath, refusing to give my lungs the air they desperately need. Just let him in, my body screams at me. It will feel so much better when you do.
Evie’s talking, begging me to stay, but I can barely focus on anything but keeping him out just a few moments longer.
“I’m sorry. I love you. Trust that I’ll be okay,” I babble as I give her one last squeeze before sprinting from the house.
I run through the streets, trying to put as much distance as possible between me and Evie’s home. The less Syrus knows about where I’ve been, the safer she’ll be.