Chapter 15
ALEK
Fucking gods, my head pounded. My side stung. My whole body ached like it’d been pummeled with stones.
It was the next morning, and the heat of the bathwater, tinted pink by my blood, was the only thing bringing me any comfort.
Say thank you, my father had said as he brutalized me, ripping my flesh to shreds, Say thank you, and it stops.
I could still feel the splitting of my skin. I could still feel the horrendous pressure of being torn apart by invisible hands.
I slept in the washroom all night. Well, slept was a stretch. I’d dwelled in the washroom all night like a vagrant troll, listening to the sound of Feloré’s beating heart.
It slowed as he slept. It was perfectly rhythmic, pulsing in a soothing cadence all night long, like a familiar song. I found myself tuning into it constantly throughout my sleepless night just to hear the thud.
Every so often, he would whimper, and that part fucked me up. It was surely a symptom of whatever dream he dreamt, but every time, the sound twitched my cock and made my abdomen constrict with need.
Two weeks I would be locked up with him. I had to survive two fucking weeks of this. It wasn’t fair. It was like tossing a bloody steak to a starving wolf, close enough to smell but just out of reach.
Except he wasn’t meat. He was very much alive. Keeping it that way was going to be the sword I fell on.
The clergy, who were in charge of finding the humans to be slain for one’s first, had brought me over a dozen.
Some were supposedly already dying from illness (although, who could be sure?) Some were ‘criminals’ who’d been sentenced to death, (although, basic needs sometimes necessitated crime).
And then there were those who were offering themselves willingly in exchange for erasing their children’s original debt. Which was most of them.
I’d turned them all down. I did it easily. I made up excuse after excuse and things were going fine.
Then my father brought me him.
I sucked a hard drag from the cigarette in my fingers as ashes fell, scattering atop the pink surface of the water.
Never before had I witnessed a sexier thing than when he crawled to me, begging. Never before had I looked at one of them, with abject terror in his lovely eyes and just been so fucking hungry.
Something about his insides was distinct. Light and clear and warm and giving. Like sunshine herself pulsed through his veins.
He stirred from my chambers and my head swiveled toward his direction. I huffed another drag of my herbs and held the smoke inside my lungs, which were already so damaged that the consequences were instant.
I coughed hard and his heartbeat ticked a little faster as a result.
I couldn’t even hide the smile it brought to my lips.
I liked the way his body reacted to the sight of me.
He wouldn’t admit it, but he didn’t need to.
He couldn’t hide the way his pupils expanded or that pulsing in his neck that quickened when his gaze scanned my naked torso.
But those were not helpful thoughts. Not helpful at all.
I held my breath and dunked my head beneath the water, blinking up at the rippling surface. I stayed under as long as I could, watching the bubbles swim away as I released the last of my breath.
By the time I resurfaced, he’d moved closer. He was now standing on the opposite side of the door as if trying to eavesdrop.
I licked the water from my lips as I stared hard at exactly where I pictured him standing. The monster inside me wanted to compel him. It wanted to reach through that door and straight into his mind where I whispered, Come in. Come in, sweet human. Give yourself to me. I promise to make it good.
I frowned down at my half-hard cock. When I awoke six months ago, I found pretty quickly that pleasuring myself was a bad idea. While it felt divine, it only provoked the monster further and amplified the need.
“No,” I whispered to my cock. “You do not make the decisions. I am the decision maker. You are a problem causer.”
It didn’t listen. I supposed trying to control my cock was as useless as trying to control my imagination, which was currently insisting that I think about how it’d feel to rip open that door and urge this human to his knees with a few sweetened commands.
I’d shove my cock all the way down his pretty pink throat, and he’d take it.
He couldn’t deny how much he’d love taking it deep. We both would.
Now, I was fully hard. Splendid.
Thank the gods for the drug-laced cigarettes. They were the only way to control the monster and wait. I’d been smoking one, hadn’t I? Where the fuck did it—?
I pursed my lips as it floated past me on the surface of the water in mockery. I’d been so flippant about smoking them whenever needed, but I should probably take inventory. I should probably do anything but sit in this literal blood bath. Hard.
Water poured from me as I stood, and Feloré’s chain jangled in response, as if he was retreating away from the door. My tongue slid from my mouth when I pictured his ass as he turned his back to me. When I pictured his haunting eyes glued to mine. Feed me.
“You’re wise to be scared of me, Snow Fox,” I whispered, dripping water all over everything as I reached for another cigarette from the vanity. “I’m every bit the monster you think I am.”
The headache hit instantly when I lit it, or maybe it’d never really gone.
I reluctantly wrapped a towel around my waist, not because I loved being dressed.
It was the worst. My skin craved its natural state.
I’d walk these palace halls naked if I could, but I had an inkling he might try to cut off my cock if I walked out there with it swinging.
I slicked my wet hair back, the cigarette clenched between my teeth as I pulled open the washroom door, and there he was. Just as gorgeous as I’d remembered. Just as sexy with his hair a ruffled mess and the white streak falling over one of his eyes.
A wild snow fox in captivity.
His gaze wandered down my torso, and I bit harder onto the cigarette to keep from scolding him. To keep from pulling him close by his leash, brushing my lips against his ear and whispering, You must know better than to look at me like that. Tisk, darling. Tisk.
“You’re alive,” he said.
Debatable. This could be my personal hell, but I winked. “Sorry to disappoint.”
He sucked his cheeks, almost sheepishly, and I couldn’t help but smile. Ooh, was he not disappointed? There was certainly something else swimming around in that pretty expression. Intrigue?
I stepped a little closer because I was a glutton for pain, and I wanted to smell him. Whatever deliciousness he was made of was spicy, bound to sizzle on one’s tongue, like the bark of a cassia tree.
“Why did you go in there?” he asked, inherently backing away a step. “Why not sleep in your bed?”
I would have eaten you if I stayed out here. You never would’ve seen it coming. “No reason.”
His pierced tongue smoothed over his teeth, and my abdomen tightened at the look of it. I could hear the sound it would make biting that metal between my teeth.
“You fell asleep talking,” he said.
“Did I? And what was I talking about?”
His brows drew together. “You don’t remember?”
“Blood loss is charming like that.” I grinned as I stepped a little closer. “Was it brilliant?”
He hesitated, like he was thinking about it. “It was unexpected, but not in a bad way. You spoke of the kingdom.”
I froze.
“You spoke about the things you didn’t like.”
I just realized I didn’t remember. I didn’t remember anything about last night past our conversation about my father.
Well, that wasn’t good. Hopefully, I didn’t say anything about…um. Fuck. Anything.
“Then you fell asleep, and I couldn’t wake you, but I would like to know more. You should tell me more about how you want to change the kingdom.”
Well, there it was, cutting straight through my bullshit. It was a struggle to hide my alarm, but I had to deflect. Whatever I said last night, I could guarantee, his human ears had no business hearing it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, clearing my throat. “I don’t want to change the kingdom, sweetheart. Why would I? It’s perfect as is.”
“Perfect?” he whispered, his forehead creasing. “That’s not what you said last night.”
“Darling, last night, you might as well have been talking to a drunken dog. Do not trust the words of the bleeding.”
He blinked for a long time. Then he said, “I don’t believe you. You were being honest last night. You’re not being honest now.”
I cocked my head toward the door. These walls were supposed to be soundproof, but occasionally, I could hear footsteps or the murmur of voices. Like now. Someone was coming.
“Why tell me that and then deny it?” he asked, a frown tugging at his already pouty lips.
“I’m not denying anything.” I sucked the last of my herbs, then tossed the stub into the fireplace, waving the air to lessen the smell. “I’m telling you, whatever I said was nonsense.”
“It didn’t sound like nonsense,” he said, clutching his chain as if it was the hope he was clinging to. “It sounded sincere. It sounded groundbreaking.”
“Shhh, sweetheart.” I tapped a finger to my lips, leaning an ear toward the door. “Now would be a good time to drop this topic.”
“Drop it?” he asked, eyes rounding. “You cannot ask this of me. Not when the future king of Novithia says we need a fucking revolution—”
I didn’t even think. There wasn’t time to think. Before he could finish that word, I was on him, pressing my palm against his mouth, gripping him by the nape of his neck. His eyes widened, huge and terrified.
“Shh,” I whispered, trying my best to soothe him, but he struggled in my grip, and we stumbled backward until he bumped into my desk. I had no choice but to press my body against his. “Easy, baby. Easy, I won’t hurt you.”
He squirmed.
I pressed tighter. “I won’t hurt you.”