Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
EMBERLYNNE
The blood pressure cuff tightly squeezes my arm as the automatic machine takes my vitals.
Every thirty minutes it beeps, jarring me awake, reminding me of where I am.
I woke up yesterday to a doctor calling my name, while a nurse propped pillows behind my back and head.
My father stood at the foot of the bed, his soft eyes shadowed with concern etched on his face.
At first I was confused, but then memories of what happened flooded my brain and tears welled up in my eyes.
Fury, taken, Londyn, lost the baby… flashing through my mind like a bad movie.
It all came rushing back, overwhelming me.
As if it weren’t enough that all of this happened, I learned that my husband, the man I love and gave my heart to, betrayed me in the worst possible way.
The very life I loathed from the depths of my soul, he was not only involved in, but he is the president of an MC.
I couldn’t stand to look at him or have him in my space.
My first clue was Fury mentioning he scored two Royal Bastard bitches and when Malcolm burst through the door, embracing Londyn, something twisted in my gut.
One day I walked into the office and Silas had hired me a new assistant better equipped to handle the demands of my job as COO.
That was odd considering I already had an assistant who did quite well.
The more I thought about it, the more the puzzle pieces fit together.
It all makes sense now and while he isn’t directly responsible for what Fury did, he knew my feelings about MCs, knew that I lost my mother to that life, and I wanted no part of it.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him, but when all the memories came flooding back, I hated him.
When my nurse made him leave the other day, I was relieved.
I wasn’t ready to face the uncertainty of our future.
Watching him leave broke my heart, but in that moment, I felt nothing but anger.
The brief time of my pregnancy didn’t lessen the pain of losing our baby.
I wanted to share that grief with my husband, but I couldn’t let go of what he had done.
Once my blood pressure stabilized and I was left alone, I was grateful for the quiet, for the absence of voices surrounding me, poking and prodding.
Everything felt distant, as though I was floating just above my body, tethered only by the ache in my heart.
Rubbing my lower belly, I physically feel the loss of what could’ve been.
Loss… the word echoes in my head relentlessly, a constant reminder of the baby and Silas.
A cruel reminder of what I had once carried and would never hold.
Tears well up, burning at the back of my eyes, but I swallow them down.
I’d already cried enough, hadn’t I? Already broken down, already felt everything I needed to feel in order to start moving on…
only the grief didn’t care. I wanted to breathe, just a little bit.
Needed my mind to be clear but the pain kept pulling me under.
I know that I’ll eventually have to speak to Silas, work out whatever we’ll be going forward.
I just don’t know where to begin. We should be mourning this loss together, leaning on one another.
Instead, we’re broken and I’m not sure we’ll ever be whole again.
“How are you feeling today, Emberlynne?” the nurse asks, switching out the empty IV bag for a full one. I was so lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed she came in. Pulling back the covers, she checks the dressing on my scar, looking for signs of infection.
“I’m feeling much better thank you,” I reply, wincing at the slight pain while she changes my bandages. Besides some stiffness, I’ve been able to move around without assistance.
“Dr. Lewis thinks you’ll be able to go home tomorrow as long as you keep improving.”
“That’s good news, Amelia,” I respond flatly, mulling over her words. Do I even have a home? What is there to go home to? Everything about home, is a fantasy created by a selfish man who only cared about his own feelings. My father walks in, a huge bouquet of flowers in hand, smiling at the nurse.
“These are for you, Em,” he comments, placing the beautiful arrangement on the bed stand.
“They’re from Mav.. I mean, Silas.”
“It’s okay to call him Maverick, dad. I mean, that’s who he is, right?”
“Right,” he laughs uncomfortably, shifting on his feet.
“He’s sitting out in the waiting room and hasn’t left since he was kicked out of your room the other day,” he states, obviously championing for Silas.
My stomach flutters at the thought of my husband being so close, but I’m not ready to see him again.
When I don’t respond, he walks over to the window, crossing his arms, watching as the rain taps lightly on the glass.
He wasn’t here just to check on me because he’s been here the entire time, which I’m grateful for. But there’s something else.
The silence hangs heavy between us and somehow, I feel that whatever he’s about to say will hurt me in some way. Finally turning to face me, he says,
“Maverick, was protecting you on my orders, Em.” The words come out a little garbled, but he lets out a sigh of relief, releasing his burden and placing it on me.
“I know you’re angry, but Fury’s threat scared me.
After losing your mother, I couldn’t lose you too,” he mutters, his eyes filled with regret.
“I knew he would make good on his threat, so I went to Maverick and asked him to watch over you while you were in Atlanta.”
“Did you tell him to marry me too?” I snap.
“No, sweetheart,” he replies, coming to my side.
“You have to look at this from my point of view as your father. Fury ran before I could get to him and he’s managed to evade me all these years.
” I recall my father leaving that night and not coming back for several days.
“The only reason I knew he was on his way to Georgia is because his ol’ lady ratted on his ass.
Em, he was obsessed with you and she couldn’t take it anymore.
” I did find it rather odd that Fury didn’t kill us if he was avenging the death of his VP.
Looking into my father’s eyes, I see the sincerity of his words and let go of my anger. If I were in his shoes, I would’ve done anything to protect my child. It doesn’t make what he did right. Not the lies, but his intent is what moves my heart.
“I just wish you would’ve told me about Silas. Had I known he was in an MC, I would’ve protected my heart and not fallen for him or maybe asked you to hire private security. Anything that would’ve saved me the heartache I’m feeling right now,” I murmur, swiping at the tears on my face.
“Please forgive me. I promise to never lie to you again, Em,” he pleads, sniffling from his own tears.
Without words, I open my arms, needing to feel my father’s embrace.
It’s easy to forgive him when I think about what he must’ve felt when I came home that night from the club.
He holds onto me as if I were his lifeline, but in this moment, he’s mine.
I’m going to need him to help me sort my life out once I’m released from the hospital.
“You know he’s not going to give up on you, right?” His voice was low, gentle, but it didn’t stop the knot from forming in my chest. Releasing me from his arms, I look away, focusing on the empty cup on my bedside table. “I know.” I relent, knowing he’s right.
“He’s been sitting in that waiting room for days,” my dad continues, walking back over to the window, staring out at the rain.
“He blames himself for what happened, Em and he’s devastated about the baby.
” I swallow hard, the familiar sting of tears pressing at the back of my eyes.
“Good. He should blame himself.” The words come out, but I’m not sure I mean them.
He lets out a slow breath, brow furrowing as he rubs the back of his neck. “Maybe. But you have to hear him out Em. You have to at least give him the chance to explain.”
“What’s there to explain, dad?” I ask, shaking my head in defiance, throat clogged from my unshed tears.
“Fury came after me because of what EJ did, mom is dead because of a stupid rivalry. My entire purpose of leaving South Dakota was to escape that life. Silas chose to bring me back into it by keeping the truth from me and now…” my words trail off, my hand instinctively moving to my stomach.
The pain of this loss is too raw and I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
Dad’s face softens as he comes to my side, reaching out, and resting his hand gently over mine.
“I know and I can’t imagine what you’re going through.
But Maverick is hurting too and he never meant for any of this to happen.
As a matter of fact, he was going to tell you everything when he got home, but all of this shit happened before he could,” he says, trying to explain Silas’s plight.
“He would lay down his life to protect you and keep you safe.”
I blink hard, the tears I’ve been holding back finally spilling over. “But he didn’t, dad. Fury still got to me, still took me and caused all of this,” I counter.
“That’s not the whole story, Em,” he says quietly, his voice steady. “He moved hell and high water to get to you, we both did.”
Closing my eyes, I let the weight of his words settle in. Despite the sincerity, I still feel the anger, the betrayal, the hurt, but underneath it all, there’s a flicker of something else… doubt. Was I being fair? Was I shutting him out before giving him a chance to explain?
“I’m not sure I can face him,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.
Squeezing my hand, dad offered me a small understanding smile.
“You don’t have to forgive him today. You don’t even have to figure it all out right now. But at the very least, talk to him. Let him tell you his side, and then decide what you want to do. You owe yourself that.”
Taking a shaky breath, I feel the pull of everything I’d been trying to avoid.
The grief, the anger, and maybe even the love I have for Silas that lingered somewhere deep down.
I don’t know if I can forgive him, but maybe my father is right.
Maybe I owe it to myself to hear him out and see if there’s a path to forgiveness.
“I’ll think about it,” I say finally, though my heart still feels heavy.
Giving a small nod, he kisses the back of my hand before letting it go.
“That’s all I’m asking, sweetheart,” he remarks, walking toward the door. “You get some rest, now.”
“Thanks, dad. I will.”
As he left the room, the silence returns, but this time it feels different. It was less suffocating, hope bristling in the air, shedding some light where I only saw darkness. I wasn’t sure I was ready to see Silas, but for the first time, I wasn’t so sure if I could keep avoiding him.