17. Sage
17
SAGE
I slam the door of the lab behind me, my hands shaking as I lean against it. The cool metal against my back grounds me. I push off from the door and stumble to my workbench, gripping its edge to steady myself. The familiar scents of herbs and chemicals fill my nostrils, but even they can't calm the storm in my head.
"Focus, bitch," I mutter to myself, reaching for a mortar and pestle. "Just... focus on the work."
I begin grinding herbs, the repetitive motion soothing my frayed nerves. As I work, my mind drifts back to my first day in the underworld, lost and confused in a sea of souls. I remember the fear, the despair, and then... the spark of curiosity when I first saw Slim's Last Chance.
My hands move automatically, measuring and mixing ingredients for a memory potion. I've made these before, but never with such personal stakes. As I stir the bubbling liquid, flashes of my past life surface:
The day my aunt revealed I'm a hexeblood, terrified and exhilarated.
My wedding day, joy turning to betrayal in an instant.
The moment of my execution, the world fading to black.
I blink away tears, focusing on the potion. As it simmers, I add a drop of my own blood, watching it swirl and change color. I lift the vial to my lips, hesitating for just a moment before drinking.
The memories hit me like a tidal wave:
My first night at Slim's, the chaos and excitement.
Deus pulling me behind the bar, his gruff voice barking orders.
Late nights in this very lab, learning the intricacies of demonic alchemy.
The thrill of creating my first successful underworld elixir.
The assassin's attack, and the surge of power as I defended myself.
I gasp, setting down the empty vial. These memories are sharper, more vivid than those of my mortal life. I've changed so much since coming here, grown in ways I never thought possible.
"Deus," I whisper, his name a prayer and a curse on my lips. I close my eyes, remembering the feel of his hands on my skin, the intensity of his gaze. There's attraction there, undeniably, but it's more than that. Respect. Understanding. A connection I've never felt with anyone else.
But there are challenges too: His temper, my stubbornness. The vast gulf of experience between us. The politics of the underworld that constantly threaten to tear us apart.
I'm so lost in thought that I don't hear the lab door open. It's only when a familiar voice speaks that I snap back to reality.
"Sage?"
I whirl around, coming face to face with Joesiah. My heart clenches at the sight of him, a ghost from my past life.
"What are you doing here?" I demand, my voice sharper than I intend.
Joesiah holds up his hands in a placating gesture. "I just want to talk. Please, Sage. Hear me out."
I cross my arms, leaning back against my workbench. "Fine. Talk."
He takes a deep breath. "I know I hurt you. What I did... It's unforgivable. But I've found a way to make it right. To bring you back."
"Back?" I repeat, my voice barely a whisper.
Joesiah nods eagerly. "Back to life. Back home. We can start over, Sage. Have the life we were meant to have."
For a moment, I let myself imagine it. Waking up in my old bed, the sun warming my face. Walking through the town square without fear. A normal life, free from the chaos and danger of the underworld.
But as quickly as the fantasy forms, it crumbles. Because I'm not that Sage anymore.
"Joesiah," I say softly. "That life... it's not mine anymore. I've changed. Grown. The underworld, it's... it's my home now."
His face falls, and I feel a pang of guilt. But I push on, needing him to understand.
"The Sage you knew... she died that day. And the woman I am now, she belongs here."
Joesiah shakes his head, desperation creeping into his voice. "But what about us? What we had?"
I close my eyes, memories of our time together flashing through my mind. The good times, yes, but also the lies. The fear. The constant hiding of who I truly was.
"What we had wasn't real," I say, opening my eyes to meet his gaze. "It was built on secrets and fear. Here, I can be myself. All of myself."
As I speak the words, I feel their truth settling into my bones. I turn back to my workbench, reaching for ingredients with newfound purpose.
"What are you doing?" Joesiah asks, confusion evident in his voice.
"Making a choice," I reply, my hands steady as I measure and mix.
The potion I create is unlike any I've made before. It glows with an otherworldly light, pulsing with power. As I work, I feel a sense of clarity washing over me. Each step of the process feels right, as if I'm following a path that was always meant for me.
When it's done, I hold up the vial, studying the swirling, iridescent liquid within. It's beautiful and terrifying all at once.
"Joesiah," I say, not looking away from the potion. "I need you to get Deus. Both of you should be here for this."
He hesitates, but eventually nods and leaves the lab. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what's to come.
Minutes later, the door opens again. Deus enters first, his eyes immediately finding mine. The concern and love I see there nearly takes my breath away. Joesiah follows, hanging back near the door.
"Sage," Deus says, his voice low and urgent. "What's going on?"
I hold up the vial, its light casting strange shadows across the lab. "I've made my decision," I announce, my voice steadier than I feel.
Both men tense, the air thick with anticipation. I take a deep breath, looking between them.
"Joesiah," I begin. "I'm grateful for the life we shared. For the love we had. But that life... it's over. It ended the day I died."
I turn to Deus, my heart swelling with emotion. "And you... you've shown me a world I never knew existed. You've pushed me, challenged me, helped me grow into someone I never thought I could be."
I lift the vial to my lips. "This potion will sever my last ties to the mortal world. It's my choice. My future."
Before either of them can react, I drink the potion in one swift motion. For a moment, nothing happens. Then, a warmth spreads through me, starting in my chest and radiating outward. I gasp as I feel something fundamental shift within me, as if the last echoes of my mortal life are fading away.
When it's over, I open eyes I didn't realize I'd closed. The lab looks different somehow, colors more vivid, energies more apparent. I flex my fingers, feeling power coursing through them.
"Sage?" Deus's voice is barely a whisper.
I turn to him, a smile spreading across my face. "I'm staying," I say simply. "This is where I belong. With you, if you'll have me."
The look of joy and relief on his face is almost comical. He strides forward, pulling me into a fierce embrace. Over his shoulder, I see Joesiah's crestfallen expression.
"I'm sorry," I mouth to him, genuinely meaning it.
Joesiah nods, a sad smile on his face. "Be happy, Sage," he says softly, before turning and walking out of the lab. Out of my life.
As the door closes behind him, I feel a momentary pang of sadness. But it's quickly overwhelmed by the excitement of what's to come. I pull back from Deus, looking up into his crimson eyes.
"So," I say, a mischievous grin spreading across my face. "What's next?"
Deus laughs, a deep, rich sound that fills the lab. "Whatever you want, my love," he says, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "We have all of eternity to figure it out."
As we leave the lab together, hand in hand, I feel a sense of rightness settle over me. The path ahead may be uncertain, filled with challenges and dangers I can't even imagine. But for the first time in my existence, both mortal and immortal, I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.