Withering Bloom
KALLIE
The soft click of the door closing is deafening.
Like a million alarm bells all screaming the same message.
Mistake.
My hands brace the nearest counter, holding me upright as the sob I’ve been choking back finally breaks free. The tears that have been a slow, quiet stream become a torrential downpour of pain.
I’d known this was coming.
I knew it.
If I couldn’t find a legal way out of this shit storm that Matt dumped on me, eventually Evren would find out. And being the kind, generous, wonderful demon he is, he’d try to fix it. And because this is my mess, I’d have to refuse. And he would try to convince me because he loves me.
Loves me.
And because I love him, I’d end up pushing him away.
I’d known all of it, all along.
I just hadn’t known it would hurt so much.
Like my heart actually left my body to be stabbed, ripped apart, and burned to ash.
The tears continue to fall as I fumble for my phone with shaky hands.
Mel picks up on the second ring. “Hey sis. What’s-”
“Mel,” I breathe, voice breaking. “Mel,” I croak again as the tears fall harder.
“I’m on my way.”
My knees give out. I slide down to the kitchen tile, the cold floor numbing my skin, matching the numbness spreading out from the place where Evren lives in my soul.
Time is meaningless as I let my sadness consume me.
At some point, Mel arrives. She sinks to the floor, pulling me into her arms.
“Kallie, honey. What happened?”
“He came here,” I sob.
My sister’s entire body goes rigid, bracing to unleash hell.
“Matt? That fucker showed up here?”
“N-no” I stammer. “Evren.”
She exhales, tension slipping back into the part of her that would commit murder in my name and not think twice about it.
“What did he say?” she asks gently, smoothing her hand down my arm.
Fresh sobs slam into me, my chest feeling like it’s being ripped open. It takes me several moments of deep breathing before I can answer.
“He said he loves me.” My voice cracks, dry and broken. Broken, like my body feels.
“Honey, that’s wonderful.”
“I know,” I hiccup.
“So what’s wrong?”
“I love him too,” I say, the words ashes in my mouth. Love shouldn’t hurt like this. Love shouldn’t feel like I’m dying a slow, painful death.
“I told him I love him too. And then I told him about Matt and the lawyer. He wanted to help. Just like I knew he would.”
My voice falters for a moment before I can continue.
“I couldn’t drag him into my mess. So I told him to go.”
And with that, the dam of sorrow truly, utterly, and completely breaks.
My body gives out as I collapse into my sister.
“Oh, Kallie,” I hear Mel say as she holds me tight while I fall to pieces.
Mel eventually gets me off the floor and into my bedroom. She runs me a hot shower, the water too hot, which is just the way I like it. The moment it touches my skin, the tears start all over again. The temperature reminds me of Evren’s natural heat. The heat that I melted into with every touch.
By the time I’m finished washing, I’m shattered.
When I step out, drained and trembling, Mel has my favorite pjs waiting for me. She gets me into bed, turns on our favorite TV series, orders Chinese food without asking, then climbs into bed with me.
I have several more breakdowns, gut-wrenching, ugly, soul-shattering sobs, and she holds me through them all, before exhaustion drags me into darkness that matches the gaping hole in my chest.
When I open my eyes the next morning, there’s a note next to my phone on my nightstand.
Sis- Had to go in to work. I’m a phone call away. I mean it, Kallie. One phone call. I’ll call later to check in and will see you after school. Love you. Mel
Tears prickle my eyes. My sister would move mountains, or bodies, for me. She is truly the best.
Today is supposed to be my late shift, but the thought of leaving the house is more daunting than trying to make a purse out of floral oasis and fresh flowers for a flower girl. I text Grey, saying I feel like I have a bug.
I mean, heartbreak is a physical illness, in my opinion.
He answers immediately, saying no problem, rest, and he’s available for extra shifts if I need him.
With work handled, I make a cup of coffee and crawl back into my bed to rot and wallow like a proper heartbroken heroine in one of my favorite romance novels.
“Kallie, I know you’re hurting, but you’ve got to pull yourself out of this—this—” My sister gestures wildly at both me and my house, looking equal parts exasperated and concerned. Possibly a little shocked.
I look around my living room and try to see things from her perspective. Take out containers, dirty dishes, pillows, and blankets stretch from the small dining nook through the kitchen and into the living room. And the bedroom, if I’m being honest. The only room not affected is the spare bedroom.
I haven’t left my house in a week. The first three days, I didn’t leave my bedroom.
Mel was amazing, staying with me those first few nights and only leaving when I insisted I was fine and that she go home.
Mel has her own life to live and doesn’t need to babysit her big sister, something she hadn’t even done when Matt and I got divorced.
I was not, in fact, fine. I was drowning in grief.
Rubbing at the ache in my chest, I lift a shoulder. “I need to tidy a bit.”
“Kallie Elane Brooks,” Mel snaps, making me cringe.
“Rude,” I grumble, readjusting my blanket shawl.
She blows out an irritated breath. “Not rude. Needed. Your house is wrecked, Kallie.”
“So am I,” I snap as my voice wobbles and tears gather in my eyes.
Mel’s face softens. “I know, honey. I’ve never been in love. Lust, for sure, but not love. I won’t pretend to know how you feel, because I’ve never been there.” She takes a breath, seeming to steady herself.
I take the moment to really look at my sister. Most people think we’re twins. We have the same curvy figure and petite stature. What sets us apart is our hair color. I’m copper, and she’s auburn. She’s beautiful, confident, mischievous, and funny.
But I can see the loneliness. She’s had relationships, but never anything serious.
I know having a family is something she craves, because I do too.
It’s been the two of us for so long, and we’d always daydream about these huge families we were going to have.
I want that for her more than anything. Almost as much as I want that with Evren.
It takes effort, but I manage to choke back my tears at the thought of him.
“Do you remember,” Mel says, moving an empty pasta bowl to the coffee table to sit down, “when you found that sad little Christmas cactus near the dumpster at my apartment building?”
I actually manage a smile as the memory plays in my mind.
Mel and I were moving her into her apartment. We were dragging boxes out to the dumpster to throw away. I’d gone to the back of the dumpster to close the lid and spotted a half-dead plant in a broken pot leaning against it.
“You said, ‘Leave it, it’s dead.’”
She smiles and takes my hand. “And what did you do?”
“Took a box out of the dumpster and put the pot and plant in it and took it home.”
“And you still have it on the patio.” She says, squeezing my hand.
“I do,” I say, squeezing back.
“All I saw was a dead, withered bloom. But you knew there was still life in it. If you were a flower, you wouldn’t leave you to wither away. You’d start clearing away the dead clutter and nursing you back to health.”
And now I’m crying.
“Good analogy,” I hiccup as tears break free.
“Only if it works,” she says, tugging me in for a hug. “Now get your shit together, or I’ll kick your ass.”
When Mel lets me go, I shake off my blanket and survey the room again. She’s right. I pick up the nearest containers, lean down to kiss my sister on the head, and go to the kitchen to start cleaning out the dead clutter.
I’ll never fully recover from losing Evren, but I can’t wither away either.
“Um, Kallie? You’re about to flood the sink.”
“Shit!” I yelp, slamming the water off and plunging my hand into the cold water to release the drain.
After Mel’s “Come to Jesus or I’ll kick your ass’ speech, I spent all yesterday cleaning my poor, mistreated house.
Mel was completely spot on with her analogy: if I were the plant, my home was the soil, and I had been poisoning it with clutter and neglect.
It took the whole day, multiple loads of laundry, and enough household cleaner to fumigate a small town, but by the end of the day, everything was clean and in its place once again.
When I woke up this morning, I wanted nothing more than to roll over and sleep for a year. I mean, I earned it. My house was clean, and I took a step in nursing my withering bloom of a heart. Instead, I crawled out of bed, made a double espresso, and got myself ready for work.
An hour into opening, and I’m a train wreck.
“Ugh, ridiculous,” I mutter as I wipe my wet hands on my apron.
Grey places a gentle hand on my shoulder, giving it a tiny squeeze while reaching into the sink to grab a piece of oasis. “You good, boss lady?”
A soul-deep sigh leaves me as my shoulders slump forward.
“Not really,” I admit, shifting my attention to where Grey stands at the counter, working on a bright floral arrangement.
He says nothing. Doesn’t push. Just continues to work on his piece, waiting for me to talk or not. Giving me the choice.
“I wasn’t sick.” I finally say. “Not physically.” His eyebrow lifts, but he remains silent, giving me the time I need to continue. “Evren and I-”
My voice catches. The familiar feel of tears pricks my eyes, threatening to overwhelm me. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself, then continue.
“We aren’t together anymore.” The words wobble, but I manage not to fall to pieces.
Grey sets down the flowers and floral shears, turning to me with both sympathy and understanding on his face. Then he walks over and wraps me in a tight hug.
“I’m so sorry, Kallie.”
I nod against his shoulder, not trusting my voice.
“There’s more,” I say after a moment, anger quickly replacing my sorrow. “Matt is trying to get more money.”
Grey stiffens, pulling back with murder in his eyes. “That shithole squirrel dick is doing what now?”
A bubble of laughter erupts from me despite the rage now simmering.
“He came in a few weeks ago. He saw one of the floral displays in the grocery store. Naturally, all he saw was dollar signs. He accused me of hiding money from him during the divorce proceedings. He’s trying to take me back to court for spousal support, and” I grit my teeth so hard I think they’ll crack, “threatened to place a lien against the shop because he’s entitled to part of that income. ”
Grey’s face transforms from outraged to something savage, his eyes narrowing viciously. The fierce loyalty in his expression warms the place where my heart used to reside. Just like Mel, Grey would go to battle for me, and I am so grateful to them both.
“That fucker. Squirrel dick is too good for him. Fucking parasitic amoeba. Hiding income? Seriously. Gold digging bitch baby. What you ever saw in that shitbird I will never understand.”
I shrug as he releases his grip on my shoulders.
“I’m sure that, in the beginning, he had some good qualities.
Something I thought I loved. But looking back?
It was all a very well-placed mask to hide his money-grubbing ambitions.
Unfortunately, those ambitions are doing nothing but continuing to cause me grief. ”
Grey nods grimly, resuming his work. “So… do you have to go to court?”
Another soul-crushing sigh that seems to be my signature trademark today escapes me. I rub my aching chest and grab my own oasis and basket to start working on.
“I’ve been speaking to my lawyer. She’s confident that we can prove that I wasn’t hiding any income during the divorce.
She has some ideas about how to show my finances that she thinks will be proof enough.
Hopefully, based on that and the contract dates for the grocery stores, she believes he won’t have any grounds for a lien.
It’s just that the legal fees are so expensive. ”
He’s silent, stripping thorns from brilliant colored roses. “And if he does manage to use his weaselly charm to get a judge to approve the lien?” His tone is light, casual, but I can hear the worry.
I set down my shears and turn to him, crossing my arms. “Then everything is in jeopardy, including both our jobs. But I’ll fight it until I have no funds left to fight. I’d rather close and start over than let that asshole have even a nail from the wall of this place.”
Matt took too much from me during our marriage and divorce already. But robbing me of my happiness with Evren is something I’ll never get over.
Grey straightens, jaw tight. “So we fight the micro dick.”
Another much-needed laugh crosses my lips. ”We fight the micro dick.”