Fire of My Soul
EVREN
Ican still feel my fire burning hot, the primal part of me demanding vengeance for the harm done to my mate.
It took great effort not to incinerate that fucker on the spot in the courtroom.
When he grabbed Kallie’s arm, the world went red.
Blinding, violent fury, the likes of which words can not describe, ignited within me.
I was ready to end him. Had Kallie not touched me, I probably would have.
Then Kallie touched me.
Soft and gentle and grounding.
Her touch tempered the flames threatening to consume me. Soft-spoken words pulled me from the edge and kept me from doing something that would have ruined any chance I had left with her. Gods, to feel her skin on mine again was like balm to the wound of my soul that I thought would never heal.
She never pulled away.
Even after I released her ex, she stayed. Allowed me to check her arm. Allowed me to keep my hand on her back, guiding her through the courthouse. They were small victories. Quiet concessions.
They weren’t much. But they were enough to plant a seed of hope.
Watching her walk away from the courthouse was gutting.
Having a taste of what I had, only to see her leave, had terror clawing at my chest. What if she didn’t come to the restaurant?
What if she put all the pieces together before I had a chance to explain and decided I had betrayed her? I was spinning out, spiraling in panic.
The car ride to the restaurant was nothing but a loop of spiraling dread. My parents chatted away happily, unaware of the internal spiral of worst-case scenarios my mind was creating.
And I didn’t stop spinning until I laid eyes on Kallie walking toward the restaurant door.
Air rushed back into my lungs so hard it hurt. Some of the bone-crushing tension eased as I stepped forward to open the door for her, carefully placing my hand on the small of her back and leading her to the table where my parents and Mel awaited.
For a fleeting moment, I let myself believe that there was a chance I could get her back. But hope is a delicate thing. Relieved as I was to have Kallie by my side—to have her scent, her warmth, the gentle brush of our bodies—fresh waves of dread threatened to pull me under.
Because now she knew.
She knew exactly what Mel and I did. That, despite her explicitly telling me not to get involved, I did it anyway.
I steeled myself for her anger. Or disappointment. For that guarded expression, the one seared into my mind from when she told me to leave.
Then the unbelievable happened.
She thanked us.
Was she initially pissed? Yes. Did she down a double lemon drop martini like she was doing shots on a party cruise? Absolutely. Without apology or hesitation.
But in the end, she was grateful that we stepped in and intervened. Grateful she wasn’t alone. That gratitude nourished that seed of hope that I didn’t ruin everything after all. Especially when she allowed me to soothe her with my touch, rubbing gentle circles on her back.
Now, if this meal would just move along.
I try to be patient. I really do. But every brush of legs under the table ignites the fire in my soul that burns only for her. Every stolen glance feeds that fire. The more we accidentally touch, the more I catch her looking my way, the thinner my restraint becomes.
I keep my features neutral. Do my best to engage in the conversations at the table, respond when spoken to. But in truth, it’s all a faint buzz in the background of my focus. Kallie.
She seems to be faring no better. She smiles, laughs, and makes eye contact when spoken to. But I see her fidgeting, the way her fingers twist her napkin in her lap. How her breath hitches when we touch. How her eyes widen whenever they meet mine. She feels it. All the unspoken things pulling us.
When my mom orders dessert and coffee for the table and launches into an enthusiastic description of the cafe around the corner from their home in Crete, my patience snaps.
I push back from the table and stand abruptly.
“I don’t mean to be rude, Mom, Dad, Mel, but Kallie and I have something we need to discuss. Privately. You’ll have to excuse us.”
Then I take Kallie’s hand in mine, savoring the familiar, electric, grounding. She comes with me willingly as I lead her out of the restaurant. Such a small concession nearly undoes me.
The walk to the car is silent; the drive to my place is worse.
Every second in this confined space with her scent wrapping around me, the tension so thick I’m nearly choking on it, turns the simmering flames within me into an inferno.
After parking at my place, we ride the crowded elevator up to my floor.
Shoulder to shoulder with other residents, Kallie and I are squished together against the back wall.
I’d like to roar at them all to get out, to give us the space we need and I don’t want.
Instead, I clench my fists at my side to keep from reaching for my mate.
What typically only takes a few moments seems to take an eternity as we stop on every gods damned floor between the underground parking garage and my floor. I’m once again grateful my door is close enough to the elevator that we can make an exit from the hellish space and get inside quickly.
The sound of the door clicking shut echoes down the hall and into the living room, where Kallie stands facing me.
I brace myself for whatever she has to say.
She has every right to be angry with me.
She specifically told me she didn’t want me involved, and I inserted myself, well, my Dad really, anyway.
I’ll listen to whatever she has to say and plead my case.
I will accept her choice at the end of this conversation, no matter how much it’ll kill me if she walks away from me again.
“I was wrong,” she says in a broken voice, eyes filled with tears.
I open my mouth, ready for my defense, and make a choked sound of surprise instead. Anger and disappointment, I was prepared for. Her saying she was wrong was not on my bingo card.
“I pushed you away because I thought I needed to protect you. I thought I had to do this on my own. That it was the best way to keep you safe from Matt and his bullshit. But I should have leaned on you for support. You weren’t trying to swoop in and fix it for me.
You just wanted to help, to support me, and help me figure all of this out. ”
Her voice is breaking as her tears flow freely. I want to go to her, wrap her in my arms. and comfort her, but I’m frozen to the spot I stand. Afraid that if I move too soon, I’ll spook her and she’ll leave.
She wipes at her eyes and continues, “You went behind my back to my sister. She dragged my lawyer into your little scheme. I hate that. I hate that Matt’s presence in my life touched Mel, you, and your parents.
When I told you to leave, when I told Mel I didn’t need any help, it was to keep his poisonous bullshit away from you.
Even though no one was directly affected, it still affected all of you.
I hate that, I hate it so much. And I should be furious.
At you. At Mel. Maybe even a tiny bit at Neeve and your Dad.
But all I am is grateful. I don’t know what I would have done, how I would have managed to pay for an accountant, had you not done what you did.
I intend to pay your Dad for his services, by the way. ”
Kallie takes a deep breath and barrels on as I stand motionless before her.
“But as grateful and relieved as I am that this nightmare is over, I’m just so fucking sad.
It hurts, Evren. It hurts so much, knowing how badly I screwed this up.
I ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I took what we had and pushed it aside because I was too stubborn to see that I didn’t need to fight this battle alone.
What I needed was you. And now it’s too late.
I’ve lost the love of my life, but I need you to know, I love you.
Even if it’s over between us, I love you. ”
The second she says she loves me, I’m across the room and scooping her into my arms.
“Say it again,” I say, brushing her tears away.
She hiccups adorably, “W-what?”
“Say that you love me, Doll. Because I love you with every piece of my heart and soul. With every fiber of my being. And I need to hear you say again that you love me, like I need you in my arms now and for the rest of our lives.”
“The rest of our lives?”
“Yes, Kallie. The rest of our lives. You’re my mate. The one person fate, for reasons I can’t fathom but truly appreciate, gave to me. So say it again, Doll. Tell me you love me.”
She looks into my eyes, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “I love you, Evren.”
“I love you, Kallie,” I say before pressing my lips to hers.
Kallie melts into me, wrapping her arms around me, pulling our bodies as close as possible.
I can feel all the stress and tension of the last few weeks leave my body as our kiss deepens.
Kallie makes a delicious little moan as my tongue slips past the seam of her lips.
That little sound undoes me. My hands slide down her body, gripping her ass and lifting her up.
Her legs wrap around my waist as she rips the tie out of my hair.
“Need you,” I say between kisses, walking down the hall to our bedroom. Kallie moans again as I squeeze her globes. By the time we reach the bedroom, Kallie has shoved my jacket from my shoulders and undone the top half of my shirt buttons, where her hands roam over my rapidly heating skin.
I’m burning for her.
But I want to savour this moment.
I slowly slide Kallie down my body, ensuring she feels just how hard I am for her. Her desperate mewl has me seriously reconsidering my decision to take this slow. When she reaches forward to undo the rest of my shirt buttons, I take her hands in mine, kissing her knuckles.
“Evren,” she pouts, sticking her bottom lip out slightly.