18. Leah
Leah
One touch isn’t enough to erase the lies. Or excuse the lack of explanations. Or make up for the fact that Syrus ignored all my boundaries by just strolling into Aradis, where I went to escape from him.
It’s not enough. I keep telling myself that, hoping it will convince me sooner or later.
I always knew it would be hard to see Syrus again, I just never predicted how hard.
Now I’m starting to think that when I came here, it wasn’t just because it was a place that would make it difficult for him to get to me again.
It was because it would make it difficult for me to get to him.
Because I knew I was weak enough to be tempted to do exactly that.
And I still am. Goddess help me.
Thank goodness it’s easy to avoid him for the rest of the evening as he’s constantly surrounded by the seraphim. I let Garion take me around and introduce me to more ephilium whose names I promptly forget, and when I can’t seem to find Filippa again, I take the first opportunity to slip away.
Outside the Seraph Seat, I take the few steps down onto the first terrace, breathing in the cool, fresh night air.
If Syrus really came to Aradis for me—really risked his domain’s relationship with the rest of Infernum, all just to keep me alive—that says something. Doesn’t it?
The sound of movement behind me makes me whirl around, lightning crackling on my fingertips.
“Stand down, Fledgling Illidore,” says Captain Pellery sternly.
I relax at the sight of her, letting my magic fizzle out. “Sorry, I’ve just had some issues with people sneaking up on me recently.”
“So I’ve heard,” she says, descending the steps to come level with me. “Although the gossip mill is being coy about the details.”
I grit my teeth to stop myself saying anything about Keros. Pellery is smart. She probably already suspects why I won’t name my attacker.
“Still,” she continues, “at least you got something out of it.”
Her eyes drift over my wings, and I find myself adjusting them self-consciously.
“You were right in the end,” I say. “You predicted I’d get them even when the colonel had his doubts.”
She smiles, but it’s restrained. It finally occurs to me to wonder why she’s out here.
“I didn’t predict that they’d be so unique, however,” she says.
Did she follow me?
I shrug nervously. “It’s a nephilim thing.”
Her eyes narrow a fraction. “Is it?”
I take a step back, all my senses on the alert. “What else could it be?”
“The gossip mill has also been turning out a few theories regarding your unusual wing color,” she says.
“With the arrival of the Lord of Malice, it’s perhaps not surprising that people have been making unfavorable comparisons with the wings of Infernum’s residents—saying you might be demon touched. ”
I go very still, trying to read her expression in the gloom. She doesn’t seem angry, nor like she’s openly accusing me of anything. So what is she after? Ephilium aren’t big on small talk. If she’s bringing this up, it’s for a reason.
“You said that your gut told me I wasn’t your enemy,” I say slowly. “That’s the truth, Captain.”
She glances up at the Seraph Seat, the glow of candlelight spilling through its archway making it look like an enormous fireplace.
“Walk with me for a while?” she says. “I need to tell you something.”
My eyebrows rise, but my anxiety cools a little. That doesn’t sound much like a threat.
“Okay.”
We walk in silence as we descend to the lower terraces, the static hum of the ball fading behind us.
“How well do you remember the day we met at the trade rift?” the captain eventually asks.
I hesitate, wondering if there’s a hidden trap in the question.
“I remember that jerk Magnus giving me a sore shoulder,” I say. That should be safe enough.
“Ah yes. Not one of the Brigade’s finest specimens. I put him on grunt work for a week after that,” she says, pleased with herself. “But do you remember anything about the work going on at the rift itself?”
I look sideways at her. “It was busy. There were lots of checks going on with the cargo.”
She nods. “You were paying attention.”
Is that what these questions are about? She’s trying to confirm if I was spying or not?
“I’m going to be honest, this feels much more like an interrogation than you telling me something,” I say pointedly.
Pellery stops walking, taking off her helmet and tucking it under her arm.
“All right, I’ll get to the point. I wasn’t there on normal guard duty,” she says.
I nod. “I did think it seemed like low-level work for a captain.”
“I was there on the orders of the seraphim, actually. You’ve heard about the blight causing trouble in Aphelion?”
I straighten up, intrigued. “Yes. My grandfather told me about it.”
Her eyes spark, but she doesn’t comment on this. “I’ve been tasked by Seraphs Orelle and Wyvier to try to discover its plague’s origin. We thought perhaps it was being brought in from Strata through the rift. It’s why we were running extra security.”
Yes, Rowan mentioned something about that. That’s why the ephilium were so jumpy that day—they were primed to suspect sabotage. But I hadn’t realized Pellery was specifically there for that. Another piece of the puzzle falls into place.
“Did you find anything?” I ask.
“No. There is no sign the blight is coming in through the rift. We even quarantined the goods for a while, but nothing improved.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask, studying her face. She examines me in return, though I don’t know what she’s searching for.
“I’m getting nowhere with this investigation,” she sighs.
“So I’m trying to think outside of the box.
Naturally, we’ve considered that Infernum might be responsible for the blight.
But this magic—if that’s even what it is—doesn’t feel strictly demonic in nature.
If this is a new weapon of theirs, then I don’t know how they got their hands on power like this. And if it’s not…”
She shakes her head. I get the impression she’s had this discussion with herself and with others many times.
“So then I got to thinking—what if it’s not coming from Infernum?
Or if it is, what if the spread to Aradis isn’t deliberate?
We know so little about what goes on in Infernum.
Maybe they’re battling with the blight, too, but don’t want their enemies finding out for the same reason we’ve been keeping the blight quiet outside our realm: because it’s a weakness that could be exploited. ”
I think about Pellery watching the demons carefully earlier. She’s been on this case for a while, and I can feel her passion for it. She wants to get to the bottom of this problem at any cost.
“So I wanted to ask you if you think that’s a possibility,” she finishes, her brown eyes landing on me meaningfully.
I swallow. “Me? Why me?”
“Because I figured I should ask someone who’s been to Infernum,” she says. Her voice is so even that for a moment I think I might have misheard her.
Oh shit. Stay calm. She might not know anything. She’s probably just bluffing.
My voice is a little croaky when I respond. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never been to Infernum. What would I be doing in the demon realm?”
She shifts her stance, still watching my face.
“I don’t know. Maybe the color of your wings is just coincidence. Maybe you somehow did manage to come by that knife innocently. Maybe you had good reason to lie to me that day about looking for a job and another good reason not to take the escape back to Strata when I offered it.”
“Captain Pellery, I’m not here to betray Aradis. I swear. Look at me.” I gesture to my wings. “I’m one of you. This realm is the only one that would accept me.”
She holds up her hand. “I know. I think you got mixed up in something messy and managed to get out. I admire that. And frankly, I don’t know if I want the details if it means I’m going to have to march you back to the seraphim and watch them lock you up.
But I need answers about the blight, and if you can help me, then it would be a great way to prove the loyalty you claim to have to this realm. ”
I stare at her. She’s willing to overlook the fact I may have worked with demons if it could help her investigation. Well, no one could accuse Pellery of not being practical.
“What are you asking me exactly?” I say faintly. I’ve lost the whole thread of this conversation.
She inhales. “When you were in Infernum, did you see anything like the blight there? Or hear anything that might point to it? Crops failing. People developing sores.”
I lick my lips, conscious I’m about to take a pretty huge risk.
But I like Pellery. She’s smart, and I have an urge to trust her.
She gave me an out, against the seraphim’s orders, when she didn’t need to.
And she could have pressed the issue of me having that knife from day one.
Instead, she chose to let it go. If she believes so strongly now that I’ve been associating with the demons, she could just have me arrested.
But she hasn’t. No, she’s choosing to talk to me in private, woman to woman.
So I decide to try and give her the parts of the truth I can.
“No. I’m sorry, but I didn’t see anything like that.”
Her eyes widen a fraction, as if she can’t quite believe I’ve confirmed her theory, but then her expression settles again. “You’re sure? The demon lord spoke of Infernum facing challenges—”
“I’m certain. Those challenges were not caused by any sickness.”
We exchange a long look, each trying hard to read the other.
“Right,” she sighs. “Well, thank you for your honesty.”
I look around us, half expecting a battalion of soldiers to jump out of hiding and arrest me. But it seems that we really are alone.
“And the demon lord, Syrus,” she says suddenly, as if it’s just occurred to her.
“You don’t know anything about the real reasons for his visit to Aradis, do you?
The seraphim were caught off guard, and that’s unusual for them.
It suggests Infernum’s decision to send an envoy happened at the last minute. ”