10
Nárs babbles incessantly. After half an hour, which I swear feels like a day, I turn towards the demon, who is throwing kisses at himself in the mirror, and tear at my hair.
“So,” I say, exhaling sharply, “why did you bring me here? Will anyone ever tell me why I’m here? And why…? Hey! That’s my lipstick!”
Nárs throws his lily-colored shining grin at me as he continues applying my makeup.
“Oh, Little Flower, there’s no need to react so horribly! I borrowed a few of your stuffs . That’s what they say, right? Stuffs?”
“You fuc…” My heartbeat quickens. “Did you find anything else among my stuff?”
The demon retrieves a comb – my comb – from the vines and adjusts his tousled, orange hair.
“If you’re thinking about the pills, Lily Girl,” he says, looking at me from the corner of his eye, “I have to disappoint you. I’ve already taken them all.”
“What?” I open my mouth wide.
“Okay. I gave Kripot a few, so he wouldn’t be so grumpy.” He pauses, shaking his head. “But I might have to help him swallow them.”
He winks at me. Kripot. If I find Kripot, maybe I can convince him to give the pills to me.
“So,” I begin, trying to divert my attention from the drugs, “why am I here? Can someone finally explain? You owe me that much, since you kidnapped me and brought me to this damn hell!”
“Hell is not here, and if I remember correctly, you decided to come with me.”
The voice isn’t Nárs’s. A breeze caresses my neck as Darya gracefully descends beside me.
The demon’s black bat wings momentarily obscure the sun from me, the dawn-colored membrane filtering the light.
They’re so huge, they could cover me, crush me.
His gaze glides over my body, as it does every time he sees me.
“And if I remember correctly,” I retort, “you said you were taking me to a place where they wouldn’t lock me up again!”
Darya steps towards me, and the light breaks on his black leather vest. Mentally, I tether myself to the ground to keep from stepping back.
“People punish you if they sense madness in you. Demons kill you if they sense weakness. You spent years trying to prove you’re not crazy, but it didn’t work, because no matter what you do, people will always think that of you.
You said you wanted to go to a place where they wouldn’t lock you up.
You’re the one who can free yourself from your room.
But if you leave prematurely and encounter a demon, you must know how to defend yourself. ”
I open my mouth, then immediately shut it. Darya is right.
I never had a chance to be normal. But why would I?
“I was called crazy because of you!” I hiss, then look at Nárs. “Because of you! If your monsters hadn’t come every night, I wouldn’t have been locked up!”
“Oh, Little Flower!” Nárs claps his hands. “Filizi’s demons haunt not only you in your dreams! Every demon-souled child sees them!”
My brow furrows.
“And every demon-souled child is fed poison, just like you,” Darya adds calmly. He scrutinizes my face as if every little reaction interests him. “It’s not your fault, Lotte. It’s in your blood. Your blood is bound to Filizi.”
I feel the protective wall I’ve built around my heart over the years shatter. I feel lighter; liberated. My clenched fists relax.
It’s not your fault, Lotte.
No one has ever told me that. Everyone said I was crazy, and it was solely my fault. It was easier for everyone to medicate me. To lock me up.
“Memories can give you chills,” Darya continues quietly, running his finger gently along my bare arm. My stomach contracts at his touch.
“If you ever feel cold here, know that it’s not possible. The temperature is such that you’ll never shiver. Hell’s flames heat Filiz.”
“I was sure it wasn’t the rays of sunshine from Heaven,” I mutter disdainfully, and a silver streak lights up in Darya’s eyes. He smiles.
“Come with me!” He reaches out towards me.
My mouth stays open as I realize what he means. I look up and point to the sky.
“Up there? Impossible!”
He bends down to me, our eyes aligned. His fiery breath hits my face. I blush at his proximity.
It’s not your fault, Lotte.
“Don’t you want answers, Lotte?”
The way he says my name…
“Can’t we just sit down and you tell me everything nicely?”
Darya straightens up, looking at me expressionlessly.
I sigh, then step uncertainly closer to him. I must figure out who I am.
“Wrap your arm around my neck,” he commands.
He has to bend down for me to interlace my hands around his nape. His firm body gently presses against my soft parts. Warmth floods my chest.
He pulls me into his arms. I gasp at the movement and press harder against his neck.
He grins broadly, unfolding his massive wings.
They are so different from the others I’ve seen.
They’re beautiful. The light dances a sparkling performance on the yellow membrane, as if tiny gemstones are reflecting on it.
I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have wings. Like having a new arm?
Before Darya launches off, his eyes catch the statue squatting among the dead desires.
“I see you’ve been having fun.”
I scream as we leave the ground. The vines melt into a green mush, and the statues bloom as dots in the distance. Thin, gray mountains surround the vast space, and the whole landscape bends under our feet. I press myself against Darya’s body.
“If you didn’t panic unnecessarily, you wouldn’t be suffocating.” He looks at me with his cloudy gray eyes.
“Maybe you were born with wings on your back,” I say, struggling to breathe, “but us mortals are not used to this!”
“If I knew my mother, I could surely ask her,” Darya says without much emotion.
“And your father?” I enquire, but he doesn’t answer. His gaze stares into the distance, as if struggling with how much he should reveal. Since he doesn’t speak, I continue.
“Why do we see demons in our dreams?”
“As I said, your blood knows where you belong.”
“Are my parents my real parents?” The question slips out of me.
Darya laughs, almost dropping me. I cling to him with a scream.
“You almost killed me!” I shout at him, pulling even closer. “And yet, what’s so funny?”
“Of course, they’re your real parents,” he answers with a smile. His tone makes me feel incredibly foolish. “Most demons come from earthly humans.”
“Then what’s so special about me? Why did you say I bring hope to you?”
“Are you sure that’s what you want to ask, my little champion?”
“What else should I ask? And why do you call me a champion?”
“You came here so they wouldn’t lock you up anymore. I told you how you can free yourself. Isn’t that what really interests you?”
Suddenly, I become very aware that he’s holding me and his fingers are gently moving on my skin.
“You said I need to get stronger. That’s why I have to train with Kripot?”
He nods.
“When will you tell me everything?”
“When you’re ready.”
“And when will that be? What benefit do you get from this? What if I refuse the training?”
“Why would you refuse?”
I bite my lip, and Darya’s gaze slides to my mouth.
“I don’t think I could ever get strong enough to stand against the demons.”
“I know you’re capable,” he says, smiling confidently. Leaning closer to my ear, he whispers, “I’ve been watching you for a long time. Whenever I can.”
His breath tickles my neck. Now I can’t escape, unlike when I turned away from the mirror showing me and Kraldem in skimpy outfits. Actually, without outfits. I shake my head.
“Still… Still, how would I find motivation for this…?”
“You have to defeat a monster within four moonturns . Either you die, or you survive.” He smiles darkly. “Seems like motivation enough, Lotte?”
Choking laughter bursts from me.
I have to fight a monster? Me?
“Now I’m sure you dragged the wrong person into the abyss.”
Darya looks at me, amused.
“But if this isn’t motivation enough,” he says, his mouth gently touching the thin skin under my ear.
“What if I promise that, after you do what you’re meant to, and if you survive, not only can you stop taking your medication, but bad dreams will never haunt you again?
No more suffering. No more psychiatry. They’ll never lock you up again because you won’t need it.
You’ll be stronger than you can imagine right now. What do you say to that, Lotte?”
No more psychiatry.
Could that really be possible? Could I stop taking my medication? If I do what he asks of me and…
Wait a minute!
“ If I survive?!” I ask incredulously.
“Don’t worry, my little champion,” says the Demon King, and his black wings envelop us. “I will do everything in my power to keep you alive.”
When we land, Darya’s wings disappear into the air in a puff of black smoke, just like the angels’ wings had.
We’ve arrived on the flat top of the mountain.
Cliffs descend on all sides, except for one part where, if I’m seeing this correctly, and I sincerely hope I’m not, the mountain plunges into a chasm.
It’s like they bulldozed the area, creating an outdoor training area.
Weapons are embedded in the rocks, and various knives reflect the sparkling sunlight onto the stone tables in front of them. Targets abound in the distance.
“Choose a weapon,” Darya says.
My eyes widen.
“Choose a weapon?”
“You heard correctly.”
Sighing, I step closer to the table.