24
Wind caresses my face, while cold water gnaws at my feet.
A salty taste mixes in my mouth, enveloped in the humid air.
It must be the ocean. I hear seagulls in the distance.
Gently, I grasp the sand beneath my palm, then release the dust through my fingers.
With a grateful hiss, it pours back to the earth.
I don’t open my eyes, not yet. I’m tired.
Very tired. I forget the pains endured on Earth and in Hell. Because I’m not there now, am I?
I inhale the fresh air into my lungs. Happiness and relief fill me.
Is this death? Pleasant and gentle. Do I just have to lie on a beach?
Or have I already turned into a rock on the sand, unable to move?
Perhaps, when we die, something useful finally becomes of us.
Maybe I’ve become a rock. It would suit me.
An immobile gray block, occasionally sat upon.
Perhaps one day they’ll even carve into me, or break me, as Darya broke me.
Interestingly, the name no longer troubles me – it only brings me solace and peace.
I could drift off here forever, if not for a familiar, firm voice suddenly breaking in.
“Get up!”
Slowly, calmly, I open my eyes. I see blue sky and gentle sunlight.
White, glistening sand. It blankets the shoreline like silk next to the dark blue ocean.
I feel the injury that pushed me into death.
The place where the knife pierced me feels like a thorn, but it doesn’t hurt – I’m just aware of it.
A strange feeling. Leaning on one elbow, I search for the source of the sound.
It’s not far from me, and although his appearance is familiar, I’m still surprised.
“You,” is all that comes out of me. I sit up on the white silk blanket. I feel happy as my naked feet sink into the comfortably warm sand. I turn towards the familiar stranger. Tall, broad shoulders, bronze eyes, dark brown hair. His gaze is calm, not questioning why I’m here. But where is here ?
Sitting on my heels, I look up into Lavian’s sun-like eyes.
Tilting his head, arms crossed against a gray, jagged rock, he leans.
The silver spear is next to him. He doesn’t come closer, or maybe he’s already gone back, I can’t tell.
Time and events function differently in this place. That reminds me…
“Where am I?”
“Somewhere between the Second and the First World,” the angel answers. His voice is like a bell, filling my soul.
“Did you come to kill me?” I ask. My speech elongates, with hesitant pauses between my words. “But I’m already dead…”
I stabbed myself to seek revenge.
Lavian shakes his head. He approaches cautiously.
He stops in front of me and kneels, placing his spear beside him. Again, we look into each other’s eyes, like the first time we met. Him kneeling, me sitting. But I’m different now. I’m no longer alive.
The breeze gently strokes me; I close my eyes until soft fingers lift my chin, forcing me to open them again. The angel’s touch is silky, holding my face gently.
“Lotte…” Lavian’s gaze is determined. “Do you remember me? Do you know who I am?”
I nod slowly.
“We don’t have much time,” he declares. “You need to go back.”
I just stare at him.
“Go back? Where?” My voice is softer than ever before.
“Back to the demon world.”
“Why should I go back there?” I ask, placing my hand on his chest, causing it to tremble slightly. Who is this man? It’s like I knew him once, but I can’t remember, anymore. All I know is that his voice is pleasant, his eyes wonderful, and I breathe evenly around him.
“Look at me, Lotte.” He calls me by my human name, and warmth floods over me. From Lavian’s mouth, my name sounds like a harp melody. Beautiful, like the redheaded girl who played for me.
“What was her name?” I ask Lavian, causing him to furrow his brow.
“The girl,” I say. “She played for me. She was so beautiful! She had a box and…”
Memories of a garden flood back into my mind, as if I had been there years ago.
“Pandora?” Lavian asks softly.
Pandora… My body warms up in memory of the girl.
I remember hurting her. I remember running away afterwards.
I remember fighting a monster. The thought makes my stomach churn uncomfortably.
I remember Darya. I remember Filizi. My calmness is covered by the gray cloud of memories.
My heartbeat intensifies. The island seems to respond to my mood change.
The wind roars, whipping up larger waves.
Lavian stares into the distance, sensing the sudden change.
“Listen to me, Lotte.” His penetrating gaze bores into mine, hand firmly holding my chin. “We are on your side, and you must go back! We need your help to defeat him!”
The wind grows stronger as I finally comprehend the weight of his words. I dig my nails into the freezing sand.
Go back to him. To Darya. To the reason I died. To the one who stood over the dead child and sank his teeth into its heart. The memory of the boy’s voice taps my spine, and my nose recalls the metallic scent of his blood.
“We have a plan,” Lavian continues. My hand clenches into a fist in the white sand, and my breath quickens. “We will bring you back from there and take you to Herebu. We’ll save you, Lotte, just hold on…”
“No!” My eyes widen. He wants me to go back. To the monsters, whose musty smell chokes me, who tear off my clothes and try to…
“Please, don’t…” I whisper in terror to Lavian as the wind whips up the waves reaching the shore, covering my bare calves. I hiss at the cold and pull away from the angel.
“Please, don’t… don’t make me go back, Lavian! I can’t go back, please, no, no, no…”
He grabs my shoulders, looking into my eyes.
“Your story isn’t over yet, Lotte. Not by dying now! I can’t save you here, I…”
The last sentence is so forceful, as if he was angry with me.
“You have no idea how valuable you are, what you mean to us! With you, we can overthrow them. With you, we can kill Darya and put an end to the demons’ slaughter!”
The words freeze on my lips. If I were to go back, would we really succeed? No more killings, no more abducted, broken children. No one else will disappear; no one will feel what I feel.
I look into Lavian’s bronze eyes.
“How can I help?” I ask. “I can’t escape, I’ve already tried. You won’t get in. Darya controls almost the entire cave system.”
“Which part can’t he control?”
Unpleasant memories creep into my thoughts. I feel my back against the tree, Darya’s touch on my thigh. I shake my head.
“There’s a chamber… there’s a tree there. But reaching it… I don’t know how.”
Lavian nods.
“We know about it,” he says, checking me carefully. “Do you know about the gates?”
I nod.
“Do you know what happens if you open the Gates of Hell?”
I nod again, but he doesn’t leave it at that.
“Suffering will engulf everyone, Lotte. Whatever you’ve seen, whatever you’ve experienced, it will be much, much worse than anything before.”
Lavian’s words make me feel shattered inside.
I don’t want to be part of this. But if I’m not, could someone else do it?
Deep down, I know the answer, and guilt leaves a salty taste in my mouth as I grimace.
I could help the children, but… I don’t want to go back.
I decided to seek revenge on Darya by killing myself.
If I were to go back… if I were to go back, I don’t know if I’d be strong enough not to fall under the Kraldem’s spell again.
I look at the angel, whose stare anxiously follows the whims of the changing weather.
“You’ll have to leave soon. Listen to me.
” His voice brooks no dissent, and I listen, crushed.
“You know that your blood is mixed, which means he can still manipulate you. Lotte, I… I don’t know how to put this, you must resist. He must not turn you into a demon, you must fight him! You mustn’t choose the wrong path…”
Like Pandora. I mustn’t choose the wrong path, like Pandora.
“If you don’t want him to transform me, don’t send me back to him! Let me die, so no one will open the Gates of Hell!” My voice rings out hysterically on the now gloomy shore, my pride no longer mattering.
Lavian’s voice is gentle and encouraging as he squeezes my shoulders.
“I can’t do that,” he whispers, almost vulnerable. “I couldn’t kill you, I…” he swallows. “I can’t take your life. We are angels, they are demons. They destroy, we build. They take… we give.”
His last words come out hesitantly, as if even he doesn’t believe them, but I don’t have time to dwell on that now. A bead of sweat trickles down my neck. They’re going to return me to the demon world.
“If you send me back,” I whisper, lowering my gaze, “he will kill me.”
The day turns to night on the island as I think of the Demon King’s power. Pain sears through my chest where I stabbed myself. I collapse, but Lavian reaches out and grabs me.
“He will torture me,” I say, my voice breaking. The pain in my stomach enhances, requiring me to lean once more against Lavian.
“No, he won’t,” Lavian says gently, letting me collapse into his arms. Pain creeps under my chest. How could he be so sure that the Demon King wouldn’t hurt me? I don’t believe him. He doesn’t know him as well as I do.
He stares at me for a moment, head tilted to the side, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out three green pills.
“They are called celestial orbs ,” he says. “This is the only way you can send us a message from the demonic world. It will stop your heart, and then we can speak again. Get demon blood, and you can wake up ten minutes after taking it.”
I blink.
“What? It stops my heart?”
“We will meet here again, same location. You drink demon blood before taking it, and its effect wears off in ten minutes. You’ll be fine. I promise. I’m sorry that we have to resort to this.”
“Please don’t do this, Lavian…” I beg, but I can’t hide my anger. Take a pill that will kill me, just so I can talk to him. Is he even serious? But he nods .
“I know you’re angry, and I understand. But we can’t let them win, and you’re our only chance. You have to find the right path, Lotte. You know deep down what’s right and…”
“Why are you trying to convince me?” I interrupt. “Do you seriously think I ever considered becoming a demon? To be their subject? Darya kills innocent children! He toys with them, and he breaks them! He plans to do the same to me!”
He ponders my words, surveying me. I feel like he’s delving into the depths of my soul.
“It crossed our minds.”
Lightning roars in the sky, and the rain now pouring down on us is a signal to depart. I relax my muscles as I sink more and more into his lap.
I have nothing else to say to Lavian; I already know my pleas won’t sway him.
The angel holds me steady, wordless, until slowly I realize what he’s waiting for. My consent. I look up at him, his bronze eyes shining disturbingly close to mine. He’s terribly handsome, but frightening. I stare at him for too long for it to be comfortable.
Blushing, I lay in his arms, gazing into his eyes, weak. He’s still waiting. Surely, it wasn’t his plan. Perhaps he was commanded, and now he’s trying to figure out my decision. I give him what he wants.
“If I help you, can we destroy him?”
“We can.”
“Are you sure you can get me out of there?”
He doesn’t hesitate.
“We will.”
“Then tell me what to do,” I sigh, my strength drained. Resting my head in Lavian’s lap, I listen to the angels’ desire to destroy the demon world. How a girl from Sweden can help sweep away the demons. I want to smile, but I can’t. Sleep overwhelms me in the arms of an angel.