30
I am hungover. My eyes scatter golden sparks as every memory returns. Darya’s face between my legs. Darya’s hand between my legs. Darya’s threats.
Darya, Darya, Darya.
What the hell happened to me? His blood is better than a drug.
I blink, and the body beneath me rises. I tense up.
I wanted a distraction, but the guilt hits me hard. It’s a good thing Darya said no, otherwise…
No. He’s not going to blame this on me, too. Anger crawls up my spine. Who the hell takes advantage of a drugged girl?
A monster.
I look at Darya lying next to me. Under me . He’s dreaming peacefully.
I clench my fist.
I don’t want him now. Or rather, I do. I desire him, but still…
He took advantage of me.
A guttural growl escapes my throat, and I pounce on Darya, punching him in the face. He immediately becomes alert, grabbing both my hands.
“You sure know how to wake someone up,” he grumbles sleepily.
“I’m going to kill you!” I snarl, and knee him in the groin.
He roars, then tries to pin me down so I can’t move.
I don’t let him. Somehow, I free my arm and push him away. Only I gain momentum, rolling off the bed. In an instant, I’m on my feet. My gaze flashes to the table where he placed his knives.
Before he can react, I’m there. I pick up a knife and throw it at him. The demon dodges, but the blade sinks into his shoulder. His eyes narrow, his irises turning black.
Finally, he’s taking me seriously. I pick up another knife.
He catches it in midair. Blood oozes from his palm.
His eyebrows raise in surprise, but he just yawns.
It infuriates me so much that I growl. He slowly takes his eyes off his bloody palm and looks at me with interest. I snarl as the demon spreads his massive wings and strides forward. I keep attacking.
The third knife grazes his wing, and Darya growls. I throw myself at him, clasping two other daggers. I aim for his head, but he dodges. I barely scratch his chest, and curse, annoyed.
Darya grabs my wrist and twists it. I scream in pain. He pins me down – my back is pressed against his chest, and his breath is dancing on my neck.
“Are you done?” he asks.
“Are you still breathing?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Then not yet,” I say between clenched teeth, and plunge the last knife into his stomach.
He growls and lets go. I don’t relent, turning and driving the knife into his chest again. He grabs my wrist, twisting my arm. Something snaps in my elbow, and I scream.
In that moment, rage explodes from me, like it’s been waiting just beneath the surface. I hear it sizzle, and Darya curses as he releases me.
For a moment, I only blink, then we just stare at each other as the fresh burn marks on his wrist slowly heal.
Before I can comprehend that I burned him again, he trips me and throws me to the ground.
He positions himself over me on all fours, pinning me down.
I can barely breathe, trembling beneath him.
“Remarkable,” he says. “But if you want to kill me, my little champion, you still need to improve.” He smiles wickedly. “Or if you simply wanted more of my blood, all you had to do was ask.”
I spit in his face, and Darya closes his eyes, counting quietly, just long enough for fear to flicker alongside my anger.
When he opens his eyes, their color is a shade darker.
“You know, Kindra…”
“That’s not my name!”
“…sometimes you really are just a twenty-two-year-old girl whose neck I’d like to snap.”
I shudder under his hand. Darya has threatened me twice in twenty-four hours.
“But,” he continues, “when you drink my blood and act the way you truly want to, like who you really are—”
“No!” I force through my teeth before he can finish. My throat burns as he squeezes. “Don’t you dare justify yourself by saying your blood only amplifies! Alcohol does that to people too, so do drugs! That doesn’t mean we’d choose the same thing with a clear head the next day! You…”
“What did I do, Kindra? If I recall, you begged me multiple times to fuck you, and if I had no control, I would have, and then you wouldn’t be able to piece yourself together.” He leans closer. “Every decision has a price. Every single one. I didn’t force you into anything.”
I grind my teeth so hard it hurts.
He’s right. I asked for the distraction so I wouldn’t have to deal with the fact that I can’t go anywhere.
“Shit,” I whisper, and Darya’s grip loosens, his fingers gently caressing my neck, making my pulse quicken.
“I couldn’t handle your blood yesterday,” Darya admits. “I’ve never tasted anything like it. Demonic and angelic at the same time,” he says, resting his head on my chest, where his blood and mine have dried on my clothes. He takes a deep breath. “And yet, it didn’t harm me.”
I look at his healed wrist.
“How could I burn you during the ritual?”
Darya looks up at me slowly.
“I didn’t think you could.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve seen the synnefo, the black fog that many of us can create,” he says, his head sliding lower on my chest. His blood isn’t in me, but warmth still floods through my thighs, and the area between my legs starts to throb.
Darya glances there for a moment, then back into my eyes.
“It rots the flesh off the bones of the herebias. Demons are immune to it. The light of the herebias, however, burns demons. Not all herebia can do it, but those who can are capable of killing us.”
My heart pounds in my throat. I can burn demons! As if reading my thoughts, the Kraldem speaks:
“Yours was different from theirs. Your skin ignited. You could burn even them.”
“How can I summon it again?”
“The angel within you responded.”
The power of the angel within me responded.
First. Not my demonic side, but my angelic side.
Although… how good a sign is this? I still can’t decide what to think about Lavian and his kind.
And it’s fucking hard to think straight when Darya’s head is slowly sliding down, and instead of pushing him away, I just whimper.
Darya stops at my underwear, inhales deeply, and I get so wet that I just want to attack.
“What the hell are you doing?” I growl at him. “I only wanted you because of your blood. I’m not in the mood now…”
Darya looks at me, and I fall silent upon seeing his black eyes. The black eyes that appear when his demonic side is stronger or when he loses control.
The area between my legs starts throbbing again, and Darya smiles.
“As I said,” he whispers, planting a kiss on my center, making my treacherous body shudder, “I could get used to this taste.”
“Enough… leave me alone!” I whisper with the last of my willpower, and Darya immediately lets go and stands up.
He’s shirtless, and I gaze at his chiseled muscles – the thin tattoos, with the snake winding up one side and the slender tree on the other. I’d love to run my tongue along his sculpted abs.
But I won’t.
“Be ready in a few hours,” he says, stretching. “If you really want to defeat me someday, it will take more than such pathetic attempts. We’ll train in the afternoon.”
His wings emerge from his back, and I swear, watching his back muscles transform, I’ve never seen anything so magnificent in my life.
Then he leaps off the ledge, leaving me behind.
I bury my face in my hands.
Okay, okay, okay.
I go to the bathroom, sit on the marble tub, and take out the three celestial orbs Lavian gave me.
I didn’t ask for Darya’s blood just to get high, though it felt damn good not to think about the consequences for one fucking night. With Darya’s blood in me, I can meet Lavian and confront him.
I stare at the celestial orbs. And I keep staring at them.
I don’t want to take them.
I don’t want to meet Lavian and believe more of his lies.
I slip the orbs back into my pocket, exhaling deeply.
I won’t give up. I will find that dagger, so at least when the time comes to choose, I’ll have a chance to leave Filizi.
Darya is dangerous. I desire him every moment, and I know he wants to break me, transform me.
That’s why I can’t give myself to him. This is the boundary.
Especially when my chest tightens every single time Darya smiles at me.
It was the same with Nathan. I should have stopped when I felt the sting in my chest.
If I gave myself to Darya, I feel like I’d be accepting everything that has happened to me so far. I’d accept that I’m crazy because I’m attracted to a demon. A killer.
I want to be good.
For once in my life, I want to be good.
And I will figure out how to achieve this.