7 #2
“Soleil,” Allie says flatly. “No need for the your Majesty crap. I’m still just Allie Hawthorn.”
She’s really not.
Here, in this court, wearing a dress fit for a queen and with that regal aura radiating off her, she’s so much more than just Allie Hawthorn.
But I’ve already put my foot in my mouth enough today, so I nod.
“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Allie continues, gently, stepping further into the room. “Seren told me what happened. With Finn.”
“Nothing happened,” I say quickly, flushing again.
Seren snorts. “I wouldn’t call that nothing.”
Allie shoots her a look. “Listen, I know it can be really… unexpected. Finding out you’ve got a demon m—”
“I can’t have a mate,” I interject.
Seren mutters something under her breath, something that sounds like isn’t that familiar?, but I ignore her.
“Well,” Allie says, “if that changes, or if anything happens you’re not comfortable with, you can always let me know. I’ve been really invested in making sure all the witches who’ve come here and partnered up with demons are doing alright. Maybe it’s just me worrying too much, but…”
“It’s natural you’d feel responsible for what happened after the new bargain was struck,” Vayla interjects from where she’s working across the room.
Allie sighs. “Yeah, I suppose it is. And really, Soleil, anything you need, just let me know.”
It’s more charity than I deserve, but I give her a shaky nod anyway.
With one last sympathetic, understanding smile, Allie departs.
Seren, however, stays right where she is.
Arms folded over her chest, one brow raised in challenge, she waits silently for me to say something.
“Is Finn… alright?”
Goddess, why did I ask that?
It doesn’t matter to me if Finn is alright.
He’s just some guy I met once. And not even really met, if I’m being honest.
He’s just some… some…
“Finn is just fine,” Seren says.
I sit down at the worktable and slump over my arms. “I don’t understand how this happened.”
“Did no one ever give you the demonic version of the birds and the bees talk?”
I groan and lay my head down, burying my face so I don’t have to look at her.
“Sometimes,” Seren continues, “when the Goddess thinks a demon and a witch will like each other very much, she gives them a mating bond that makes them want to—”
“Stop,” I plead, not bothering to raise my head. “I get it.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I ran away from Callum the first time I met him, too.”
I look up at her. “You did?”
“Well, first I cursed him, but yeah, after that I ran away.”
“Why?”
“Why’d you run from Finn?”
The question could almost be flippant, but she doesn’t sound like she’s trying to be rude or making a joke.
She’s looking at me like she always looks at me.
Like we’re twins and she knows all of me, for better or worse.
Even after all the years we’ve spent apart, that look hasn’t changed.
It probably never will.
“But you… came around?” I ask instead of answering. “Eventually, I mean. The two of you seem happy.”
She snorts a laugh. “Yeah, I came around. And so did he. Doesn’t mean everything’s perfect, though. Mate bond or not, relationships still take work.”
I laugh, too, but there’s no humor in it. “I’m in no position to even think about a relationship right now.”
I’ve barely belonged to myself for the last two decades I’ve spent training with the Crescent Coven. My time, my magick, my responsibilities have all been in the coven’s service.
This is the first time in as long as I can remember that I’ve rebelled and really did something for myself.
I can’t imagine running straight from that into belonging to someone else.
Even if I wanted to, it doesn’t matter. The coven will be my entire life once I Ascend, with no room for anyone else.
And in the meantime…
I can’t bear to have any more expectations put on me.
I can’t handle disappointing anyone.
But, with a deep sigh, I realize the obvious.
I’ve already disappointed Finn.
From what I’ve heard, finding a mate is a huge deal to demons. It’s sacred in their culture, something to be revered and treasured. One of life’s greatest joys.
At the moment Finn was probably feeling like the luckiest man alive, I sent him crashing all the way back down to earth.
But it’s not my fault, is it?
I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t do anything to make it happen.
I’m just stuck dealing with it.
And so is Finn.
It’s all a mess, way too much for my sleep-deprived brain to handle.
Seren’s still watching me, eyes searching, knowing, like she’s peeled back all the layers of angst and resentment between us. Like we’re still seventeen years old, the two of us together against the entire world.
“I hate to say it, Sol, but you might not have a choice with this one.”
My eyes snap to hers. “I always have a choice.”
“Yeah,” she says carefully—strange, since careful is nowhere near her nature—as she sits down next to me. “But these things, these bonds, they’ve got a way of demanding that you do something with them.”
“So that’s it, then?” I ask, unable to keep the caustic note from my tone. “It’s all settled? I’ve just got to cozy up with this freaking demon like I’ve got no choice in the matter?”
“First of all, don’t write off Finn before you’ve given him a chance. He’s… a good guy. Fun. Lighthearted. He might surprise you.”
If it were possible, my mood gets even darker.
Great. Just what I need. A happy-go-lucky, blond demon sweetheart who’ll eventually realize he’s stuck with the world’s crankiest witch. A witch who is absolutely not lighthearted or fun by any stretch of the imagination.