34
Soleil
It’s disorienting, how quickly two worlds can collide.
There I was, lost in my misery, obsessing over the stupid remark I made to Finn about learning how to portal, and now I’m face-to-face with a Crescent witch who I never in a million years expected to see standing in the demon court.
“I thought I might be here on a rescue mission,” Marianne says, then eyes up Finn and our hands where they’re joined. “But it looks like you’re doing just fine.”
Finn’s grip on me gets a little tighter, but I give him a reassuring smile.
Marianne gives him one more appraising look, then turns to me. “Is there somewhere we can—”
“The queen of the demon realm, come to court!”
The booming proclamation is made by a steward standing sentry near a doorway into the atrium on the far side of the room.
Queen Allison Ashblood enters the room surrounded by a few courtiers and a familiar human face.
Joan was another Crescent witch who didn’t make the cut for continuing tutelage. She and Allie stayed pretty close from what I’ve heard, and she’s also found her own demon mate.
Her own big, scowly, formidable-looking mate, if the dark-haired demon standing next to her is any indication.
Allie’s eyes get wide when they land on me and Marianne, and she makes a beeline toward us. Courtiers part to make way, and I’m struck once again by what a commanding presence she has here.
“Soleil,” she says warmly as she reaches us. “Good to see you back. How did everything go in Gales Harbor?”
“Great. Vayla is still there finishing up, but we were able to get the medicine to everyone who needed it.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Eren and I were very concerned by the reports we were getting about the fever.”
Eren.
King Eren Ashblood.
Allie’s husband, and the ruler of this entire realm.
Kind of wild, actually, to be reminded you’re talking to royalty.
“Hey Soleil,” Joan chimes in, “long time no see.”
“Uh, yeah,” I say with a forced laugh. “It’s been a while.”
“This is Rhett,” she says with a nod to the demon beside her, then looks to Finn. “And I take it this is…”
“Finn,” he supplies smoothly, shaking her hand, and then clasping Rhett’s forearm.
“Alright, well,” Allie says, pressing her hands together in front of her. “Good. Introductions are good.”
A slightly awkward silence falls, and she turns to Marianne next, much more wary this time. “Did my mother send you?”
“Nope,” Marianne says with a smirk. “I’m here on my own. No High Priestess permission involved.”
“And you’re here because…”
“I need to talk to Soleil. Not sure if you’ve been brought up to speed, but her leaving the coven hall has caused a bit of a… situation.”
Dread drops into my stomach. “What kind of situation?”
Marianne frowns, glancing around at the curious looks we’re getting from all over the atrium.
Allie lets out an uncomfortable laugh. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why they have to announce me like that every time. It makes a bit of a scene.”
Joan grins. “Because you’re a big fucking deal and you deserve the spotlight.”
Allie’s blush deepens, and she shakes her head. “Yeah, well. Come on, I know a place we can go for some privacy.”
She starts off toward one of the atrium’s exits, and I turn to Finn.
“I think it would be good if I… handled this on my own. Whatever Marianne has to say is probably about the coven, and…”
“It’s alright,” Finn says gently, leaning in to press a kiss against my cheek. “Come find me whenever you’re finished?”
I nod, grateful for the understanding. “I will.”
“You can find somewhere else to be, too,” Joan tells her own demon mate. “Girls only. No boys allowed.”
Rhett wraps his tail around her waist and pulls her close, whispering something in her ear that makes her flush before he lets her go.
The weight doesn’t leave the bottom of my stomach as I follow after Allie, Marianne and Joan. Through the atrium—so impressive and magnificent as it soars stories and stories above—and into the great hall.
I only got a brief glimpse of it last time I was here, and today it’s set with long rows of tables leading up to the dais where Allie and Eren must take their meals.
Instead of stopping, though, we continue on through the room and past the dais to a door tucked away in an alcove, which opens into another smaller chamber.
It’s no less impressive, though, as Allie gestures for us all to sit around a table that looks like it could easily seat thirty people.
“Less formal than the hall,” she explains as she takes her own seat. “Sometimes used for council meetings, or for dining in a more intimate setting.”
“Intimate,” Joan drawls. “Right.”
Allie rolls her eyes, but sobers once we’re all seated.
“So,” she begins, glancing from me to Marianne and back again. “Want to let me know what’s going on?”
Marianne and I share a look.
“I’d be curious to know, too, Soleil,” she says. “Because no one in the coven seems to have any idea why you left ahead of your Ascension.”
“I didn’t leave,” I protest. “I just… needed a break.”
“A break.”
“Yeah. A break. With all the final exams and work Esme was giving me, it was just… just… I just needed a break.”
Marianne isn’t impressed. “We’re all buried under a mountain of bullshit. And you’re almost out on the other side. Once you Ascend, you get to decide what bullshit you want to handle and what you want to pass off to some poor apprentice.”
“Maybe that’s the problem!” I snap right back. “Maybe I’m sick of the whole damn system and everything the coven represents. Maybe I don’t want to—”
I stop myself before I say the words, but they’re there. Right there. On the tip of my tongue, ready to be spoken, with no way to take them back once I do.
“Okay,” Allie says carefully, “I totally get how charged the situation is. Believe me, I do. And you’re welcome to be here at court for as long as you want.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, flushed and embarrassed about my outburst. “And sorry, I know I’m causing problems with my disappearing act.”
Marianne snorts. “That’s an understatement. If you thought the whole coven was talking about you because of your Ascension, that’s nothing compared to what a hot topic you are now.”
My flush gets deeper.
Goddess.
That’s the last thing I want.
More attention. More drama.
The visibility of becoming a priestess is bad enough, and the thought that I’m now some kind of coven black sheep because I had the audacity to take time for myself to figure things out makes me feel sick.
“You know how it is, though,” Marianne continues, a little more kindly this time. “They’ll move on to something else soon enough. Everyone just loves a bit of gossip.”
“Sounds like more than a bit of gossip,” Joan says sardonically. “And maybe it’s exactly what the coven needs, a witch who bucks expectations and goes against the rules. Maybe it will remind them they do, in fact, have free will they can exercise at any time.”
“I don’t want to be some kind of revolutionary.” I put my elbows on the table and rest my head in my hands. “All I wanted was a little breathing room.”
“Seren will be back tomorrow,” Joan says. “I saw her just before she headed off to her latest job, and she let me know when she’d be back. If, you know, it would be helpful to talk to her.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes a little. Joan and Seren are friends, but I don’t know how much my sister has shared about our longstanding feud.
“All she’d tell me to do is leave the coven.”
“Maybe,” Joan allows. “But you never know.”
I do know. I know because we’ve had the same damn argument for years, but pressing the issue won’t help anything.
“Whatever you do,” Marianne chimes back in, “you’re going to have to face Esme eventually.”
I can’t help it, I groan. “Do I? Maybe she won’t even notice I’m gone.”
Joan snorts. “She noticed when I stopped paying my dues, and I’d barely been in the coven hall for a decade. I think she’ll notice you’ve disappeared, Soleil.”
“Depends,” Allie adds gamely. “There was one time in high school when I snuck out to stay the weekend with a boyfriend. It was close to Samhain, and she was so busy planning and getting ritual supplies ready I don’t think she ever found out.”
The conversation launches into a brief discussion of Esme, of the priestesses, of the coven, and all the absurd nonsense we each dealt with over the years.
“How can anyone be expected to willingly go back to all of that?” I ask with a laugh as the conversation winds down, and I’m only half-joking.
Here, from the outside, laughing about it with friends, it doesn’t seem all that bad.
Or maybe it does.
Maybe we’re all bonded by the insanity of coven life and we can’t see it clearly at all.
“Whatever you do, I’ll try to give you some cover,” Marianne says. “I can mention I’ve seen you, and that you’re very busy here with very important potions work, if that’ll help.”
“Thanks,” I say, and mean it. “Maybe that will buy me a little more time.”
“Well, whenever you talk to Esme, good luck. I can’t imagine what kind of mood she’s in.” Marianne stands from the table. “And with that in mind, I should probably be getting back before she thinks I’ve gone missing, too.”
“I’ll go with you,” Joan says. “There are trading terms Rhett’s village wants to present to the coven for some upcoming loads of crystals. And what about you, Allie? Any bones to pick with your mom over what a pain in the ass she’s been lately?”
Allie sighs heavily. “No, I’ll leave you all to it. I don’t plan on doing any more travel through the Veil. Not for… oh… about seven months, give or take.”
She lays a hand on her belly while she speaks, and I’m slow on the uptake, but Joan’s not.
She lets out a squeal of delight and throws her arms around the queen. “Oh my god, please tell me you mean what I think you mean.”
“That we’re going to have a little prince or princess at court this time next year? Yeah, that’s what I mean.”
Allie’s announcement delays Marianne and Joan leaving by several minutes as we all offer congratulations and well-wishes for her pregnancy.
Our little party is only broken up by the creak of a door opening, and the sight of the very abashed demon king who appears.
Eren hovers in the doorway, looking both like he wants to come over and steal away his wife, and like he doesn’t want to intrude on her conversation.
Allie lets out a soft laugh when she sees him. “He’s been awful since we found out I was pregnant. I thought he was protective before, but apparently I didn’t even know the half of it.”
Despite her words, the way she’s looking at him doesn’t seem like she thinks he’s awful at all.
It’s the same way Joan looks at Rhett. How Seren looks at Callum.
My heart squeezes painfully in my chest.
“I should go,” Allie says breezily as she stands. “Before he worries himself to death.”
“We should be off, too,” Marianne says, and Joan nods.
“And I should be…” I start, then flush and trail off. “Well. I should go find Finn.”
We all go our separate ways, and despite what should be reassurance and support from my friends, the recognition I’m not alone, I feel worse than ever.
The reality of it all is setting in, and the clock that’s been ticking since the moment I fled the coven hall is getting louder and louder.
I’m going to have to face this. I’m going to have to decide sooner rather than later.
Now if I only knew what the hell I’m going to do.