3. CHAPTER
CHAPTER
THREE
King gasped. “ Offended.”
“You can be offended all you want. It’s time to go.
Not waiting around to figure out when your little vision comes true.
” Indy ran to try the front door again, but it remained locked.
He had no idea what or who was coming for him or exactly how accurate King’s visions were, but he didn’t want to be here to test his luck should anyone actually show up.
In a world of magic and monsters, he’d always found it prudent to err on the side of caution.
That meant listening to the very possibly crazy talking skull.
But more importantly, it also meant still needing to find a way out of here and fast.
“Shit, shit, fuck, shit!” Indy kicked the door in frustration, but even his boot wouldn’t make a dent.
“Potty mouth!” Gammy’s voice called to him, but it was somehow far away and yet right in his ear.
“This house is haunted,” King whispered urgently.
“Gammy?” Indy looked all around. “Hey! Where are you?”
“Here!” She was louder now.
Like, really loud.
“Hey!” Indy clapped a hand over his ear, his thumb brushing against cool stone. “Wait. Are you in my damn earring?”
“Yes! Hi! Hello.” Gammy cleared her throat. “Testing, testing.”
“I’m not going to ask how—”
“Well, you know I can possess things! Objects that aren’t my own can be a bit tricky, but—”
“Focus, Gammy!” Indy pleaded. “My new friend, the talking skull over there, had a vision of very bad things about to happen two seconds ago and we need to get the hell out of here!”
“We’re not going to finish RuPaul today, are we?”
“Gammy! Unless you want a new ghost for a grandson, can we please stay on task?”
“Sorry, sorry.” Gammy sighed, and there was an audible pop as she appeared beside him. She was more transparent than usual and the colors of her neon nightgown were faded, as if the vibrant hues had simply leaked right out.
“Hey, are you okay?” Indy tried to reach out and touch her, but his hand went right through her.
“I’m fine! Just tired, sweetie cakes. Casting that possession spell so fast really wore me out. I couldn’t stop that big stupid demon from taking you, so this was the first thing I thought of!” She scowled. “Where is that big jerk anyway? Give me a sec to catch my breath and he is banished.”
“Gone. Like we should be.”
“Oh! Right.” Gammy fanned her hands over the front door, humming lightly. “Pretty fancy dimensional lock we got here…”
“Too fancy?”
“It’s Kenya Michaels and I’m Latrice Royale. I am about to slay.” Gammy grinned. “Ah, there we go! Right as rain.” She knocked on the door.
The door shuddered, groaned, and then opened. Instead of a forest on the other side, it was a city street.
Somerstown!
“Gammy, you are the fucking best!” Indy took a step forward, eager to escape.
“Hey! What about me?” King wailed. “Yer just going to leave me—no, fuckin’ abandon me here in a haunted house? Me, who saved yer flat arse? Whose very vision has protected your precious squishy stupid life?”
“Oh my God.” Indy jogged to the table to scoop King up. “Let’s go, diva.”
“Charming!” Gammy giggled.
“Yes, I am very charming.” King stared at her. “Ah, a fellow member of the oxygen deficient club! Howeyeh, missus.”
“Chat later.” Indy tucked King under his arm. “Time to go.”
He did a mental checklist: talking skull, dead grandma, magical leshy ring.
Yup, everyone was here.
He took a deep breath and then charged through the door.
What had appeared to be a city street was actually an alley between two large warehouses.
Indy remained confident it was Somerstown, though he couldn’t see above the big buildings to get his bearings of where exactly in the city they were.
He hurried ahead, hugging King to his chest now, legs burning as he ran as fast as he could.
“Once we’re back home, I can create a banishing circle to snatch that stupid demon jerk up as soon as he comes in!” Gammy said, floating beside him. “He won’t be able to take you again, I swear! And then we can get back to work removing that silly ring.”
Indy just nodded.
Hard to talk when he was running his ass off.
He turned the next corner and…
It was a dead end. A towering brick wall prevented any possible exit from the alley, and the door leading into the warehouse on the left was chained shut.
“Shit.” Indy groaned loudly. He took a deep breath, refusing to give up yet, and he reached for the chains. “Can we break these or—”
Gammy tried to grab him. “Wait, don’t—”
The moment Indy’s fingers touched the chains, they glowed bright blue and pulsed.
“Oh. Well.” Indy gulped. “That can’t be good.”
The door lurched violently as something very large tried to break through from the other side. Indy turned to run, but two more quick slams did it, the chains shattering and the door swinging wide open before he’d even taken his first step.
A hulking beast covered in thick scales lumbered out, and there were more monsters right behind him.
Indy didn’t even need to look to know that there were six of them.
“Oh! Look! More faces.” King wiggled. “This is grand craic! Hmm. One, two, three, four… Huh. Six! Six indeed. Just like me vision said! Imagine that.”
“King?”
“Yes, Indy?”
“You are such complete ass at telling the future.”
As predicted, the monsters took Indy.
And yes, there was a lot of blood.
Namely from Indy kicking the big scaled monster in the face repeatedly and doing his absolute best to claw out his eyes.
Maybe not gallons, but he’d tried his best.
Gammy was too weak to cast anything potent, and she had to settle for giving all the monsters itchy skin.
King sang, which was probably the most effective weapon they had right now.
Indy was ready to pop some of his nails, but a humanoid monster with long floppy ears like a rabbit ordered the others to put gloves on him.
This would have been a perfect time for Dill to make an appearance and do some more of that protective rescue stuff he seemed so fond of, but there was no sign of him. Indy had no idea how to summon Dill, so all he could do was wait.
He tried to call Mr. Kalt—he still had Indy’s soul and such contracts allowed for the equivalent of sending a mental text message—but there was no answer. Even though he had no such contract with Mr. Heiss, Indy tried to call him too, and again there was nothing.
Great.
So, there he was, tied to a chair with red-and-green Christmas mittens duct-taped to his hands in a small dank room with metal racks, dusty brooms, and a single damp cardboard box full of bleach.
A closet.
They’d stuck him in a damn closet.
Floppy Ears had taken King, but he had to be close because Indy could still hear him singing off in the distance.
For an extra fuck you, ol’ Floppy had put a circle of blue salt around Indy.
The exact kind to keep ghosts away.
As soon as the door shut, Indy asked, “Gammy? Still here?”
“Yes,” she said, just a whisper in his ear. “I’m here.” She materialized, but she was even more transparent than before. “Well, this sucks a big one, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, you can say that again,” Indy grumbled.
“It would seem that your little skull friend isn’t exactly the best prognosticator.”
“Huh?”
“He’s crappy at predicting the future.”
“Yeah, that.” Indy studied Gammy’s thin apparition. “Hey, are you okay? What’s going on?”
“Oh, I’m fine, sweetie cakes.” Gammy shrugged. “My spiritual connection to the physical realm is being weakened without my anchor objects a tiny bit—”
“What? Are you about to Patrick Swayze out of here with the lights and shit?”
“No! Maybe. Hmm.”
“Gammy.”
“I should be fine, but I really shouldn’t expend more of my powers.” Gammy tested the line of salt with her foot, and she flickered like a scene skipping on a DVD. “Oof. Ow.” She did it again with the same result. “Ow.”
“Gammy, quit it.” Indy sighed haggardly. “Just give me a second, okay?”
“What are you going to do?”
“You really think this is my first time being tied up?” Indy grinned. “Oh, please. Watch and learn.”
Personal enchantments for pleasure were fairly common.
There was everything from being prepped and lubed instantly to the spell equivalent of a little blue pill, and there were even some to make certain parts of the anatomy vibrate.
Indy had dabbled in all of them for both work and his personal life, but it was the one for hypermobility he was very thankful for at the moment.
He effortlessly dislocated his thumbs to slip out of the ropes, mittens and all.
It burned like hell even with the enchantment to ease the way, but he ignored the pain to focus on tearing the mittens off with his teeth.
He popped his thumbs back into place and then got to work untying the rest of the ropes.
“Ow?” Gammy cringed. “Didn’t that hurt?”
“It’s fine.” As soon as Indy was free and up on his feet, he kicked the salt to break the circle. He stretched, cracked his neck, and then patted down his pockets. No phone, of course. He’d left it back home. He had a stick of gum, a blob of lint, and two pennies.
Not great.
“Oh!” Gammy clapped. “The gum! All that! Put those inside the circle of salt for me. Yes, yes, and fix the circle!”
“Okay?” Indy chuckled but did as she asked. “Whatcha cooking up?”
“Something to help get us and our little friend out of here.” Gammy kneeled and drew a complex-looking symbol on the floor. There was a faint hint of light but then nothing else. She scooted over and drew another. “I’ll need you to power it.”
“And how do I do that?”
“When I tell you to, you stomp down here. You may feel a small pinch—”
“A pinch?”
“It’s the spell taking a teeny bit of your life force—”
“Gammy!”
“You’ll get it back!”
The door opened, and Floppy Ears walked in. He stopped short when he saw Indy was free, grimacing in annoyance. “Really?”
“Yeah, really!” Indy flexed his fingers, trying to gauge what kind of monster he was dealing with. Definitely magical, but some sort of earthly beast judging by the purple.