16. CHAPTER #3
“Yeah, you, baby.” Indy patted his broad chest. “If this flower already makes people super addicted, what do they need him for?”
“I am not sure. They already have some quantity of the flowers, yes?” Myrna glanced over to Neil for confirmation.
“Yup.” Neil gestured to the computer. “And as soon as I get that piece of shit working, I can tell you who bought them and how much. Might give us a name or at least something to start looking for them.”
I WILL REMEMBER
EVENTUALLY
Day meowed something, and it sounded encouraging.
THANK YOU DAY
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER BELIEVES IN ME
“Call me immediately,” Mr. Heiss said quietly. “Until then, my men are still searching on their own.”
“Mine as well.” Lou crossed his arms. “You could have told me you needed help. And you fucking should have. Especially with shit going on in my territory—”
“And the dead were demons and therefore my charges,” Mr. Heiss bit back.
“Right,” Lou spat. “Like the demon who tricked your human and forced you to reveal yourself in front of hundreds of people? Still in charge of him?”
“At least I didn’t have another drug operation happening in my own backyard without my knowledge. Again. How many are you up to now? Is this two? Or three?”
“You fucking bastard—” Lou started toward Mr. Heiss.
“Come on.” Mr. Heiss seethed. “Please try it.”
“Wow, you two should really just fuck it out already,” Indy piped up, hoping to dissuade the tension.
Lou and Mr. Heiss stared at him as if he’d handed them each a live frog.
Neil snickered.
“Oh dear.” Myrna clasped her hands over her mouth to stifle a giggle.
“How ’bout y’all sort this dick measurin’ thing later?” Seymour suggested. “Neil’s gotta get to work figurin’ out who got them flowers, and everybody else is out there huntin’. It don’t seem like there’s much else to be done right now, yeah?”
Mr. Heiss bristled but said nothing.
“He’s correct,” Lou said, visibly calmer but still on edge. “The best thing we can do now is regroup until we have more information.” He scoffed. “And, of course, wait for the fallout from Mr. Heiss’s shitshow to blow over.”
“Great. Love this. Speaking of blowing…” Indy stepped back over to take Mr Heiss’s arm. “I am gonna take this gorgeous asshole away from here, so everybody can relax, cool off, and I can—”
“Fine,” Mr. Heiss grumbled.
“—blow him. Of course.”
EW
EW EW EW
WHY
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT
“Let’s be real. You do not want me to answer that because it’s just gonna gross you out even more.” Indy winked.
NOT SANITARY
NOPE
Lou pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly.
Mr. Heiss made almost the exact same face.
“We’re gonna need a new magical limo,” Indy said with a cheerful grin. “Seeing as how the other one exploded. Too bad that wasn’t, like, an illusion or whatever too. Oh! Maybe I can blow you in there.”
“It is time to leave now.” Mr. Heiss wrapped his arm around Indy’s shoulders, guiding him to the door. It opened automatically for them.
GOOD BYE ASSHOLE
GOOD BYE INDY
“Bye!” Indy waved. “See all of your beautiful faces later!”
“Hey, before you go.” Seymour pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Digits?”
“Huh?” Indy turned back with a grin. “Oh, the Monster Fucker Squad is so on!”
Neil grimaced. “Really want to pick a different name please.”
“Here, let me just type it in.” Indy took Seymour’s phone. “Since somebody hasn’t given mine back.” He typed quickly. “Probably looking at all my dick pics, my gay memes—”
Mr. Heiss wordlessly plucked the phone out of Indy’s hands to give back to Seymour. He pushed Indy through the open door, and there was a new limo waiting there in place where the old one had been.
Indy waved frantically, calling out, “I texted myself a bunch of eggplant emojis! Don’t forget to add Neil to the chat!”
“Only if you change the name!” Neil argued.
“Not changing it!” Indy cackled as Mr. Heiss ushered him into the back of the limo. He waited for Mr. Heiss to sit beside him before cuddling close. “I like them.”
“They’re fine.” Mr. Heiss rolled his eyes. “For flesh bags.”
“Reminder you care very deeply about a flesh bag. The one right here.”
Mr. Heiss grabbed Indy’s chin to tilt his face upward. “While that may be true, there is still the matter of a very, very severe punishment ahead of you.”
“Me?” Indy’s heart skipped a beat. “What did I do?”
“You’ve been mouthy, rude, and disobedient.”
“Mmm, that doesn’t sound like me.” Indy grinned, flicking out his tongue toward Mr. Heiss’s lips. “Are you sure?”
“Very sure. As soon as we return home and you check on your dearly departed grandmother, I am going to give you a very thorough demonstration.”
“Of what? Me being mouthy and rude? That’s sort of a weird thing for you to demonstrate. Shouldn’t I be the one demonstrating that? Specifically with my mouth?”
Mr. Heiss sighed and waved his hand. “Case in point.”
“No, dick in mouth,” Indy corrected. “That’s where I’m trying to go with this.”
“If only that would actually shut you up.”
“How about you demonstrate that for me and we’ll see? For science.”
“Science?”
“Yes. Sexy, sexy science.”