21. CHAPTER #3
“You could hold the camera. It’ll be great.” Indy hummed. “Now I just have to figure out how to bake. Can’t be that hard. Gammy does it all the time and she’s dead.”
“Please don’t burn my house down.”
“I make no promises.” Indy snickered, giving Mr. Heiss another squeeze. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“Caring about me. Letting me make my own choices. The good dick. All of it.” Indy smiled. “You’re a hell of a guy, Raph.”
“Don’t tell anyone. I have quite the reputation to uphold.”
“Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure no one will ever question what a giant asshole you can be.” Indy laughed again. “Pretty sure Nyp was going to cry after you told him we weren’t actually going to get coffee. Me too though, but oof. I swear I saw tears.”
Mr. Heiss growled and promptly gulped down his drink. “Can we not?”
“What? Talk about Nyp?” Indy peered curiously, intrigued. “You know, when you were going through your whole tragic backstory, you didn’t mention him.”
“No, I didn’t.” Mr. Heiss narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“What? I can’t be curious about your exes?”
“He is not an ex.” Mr. Heiss scoffed.
“What about, oh, what was his name… Shiloh?”
“What? No.”
“No?” Indy wagged his brow. “King told me he was gasping for your cock.”
“Yes, but he was left wanting.” Mr. Heiss then smirked, confidently teasing, “As if either of them could actually get with any of this.”
Indy burst out laughing, and he had to kiss Mr. Heiss. “Mmm, you do have very high standards. Look at me. I’m like a twelve out of ten.”
“That’s too many—”
“Shush. I don’t make the rules. It’s hot bitch math.”
“Very well.”
“So. Hey. Spill.” Indy poked Mr. Heiss’s chest. “What’s the deal?”
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Fine.” Mr. Heiss rolled his eyes. “I knew him before I came to Somerstown. He was a young demon, as annoying as he is now, and he wanted to go into business together. The plan was sound, and I agreed. I had no interest beyond a working relationship, but he was very determined to befriend me. He showed up often, rarely with permission. At my office, at my clubs, at my restaurants. Like a stupid little puppy you desperately want to kick.”
“No one wants to kick a puppy except you.”
“Demon,” Mr. Heiss quipped. “Perhaps I was lonely, but… I let him talk. It was nice to have someone around, even if they were utterly useless and stupid. And one night, after a few too many drinks, I was feeling particularly weak and decided to talk too. I told him… about being in the Light. Being a hellborn, he had no idea what it was like.”
“Your name,” Indy realized. “You told him your name.”
“Yes… And I have regretted it ever since.” Mr. Heiss sighed heavily. “Afer that little exchange, Nyp thought that meant we were bosom buddies and tried to further invade my life. He came to my home unannounced, and I was… irritated with him.”
“Define irritated.”
“I tried to kill him, severed all our business connections, crushed his car, and set his house on fire.”
“Jesus Christ!” Indy barked out a startled laugh.
“Perhaps I was a bit more than irritated.” Mr. Heiss shrugged.
“He still tried to call me after all that. Over and over, he kept fucking calling me, swearing that he could be better, that he would fix this. After a few years, I finally stopped hearing from him. That is, of course, until he showed up in Somerstown.”
“Wow. Sounds like he had it bad for you.” Indy snorted. “Too bad though. He needs to go get his own asshole demon. This one is mine.” He kissed Mr. Heiss firmly.
“I am, hmm?” Mr. Heiss smiled.
“Yup. No one better be calling you and blowing you up like that except me.”
“A little possessive, are we?”
“Just saying I will probably be looking at your phone.”
Mr. Heiss laughed. “As you wish. I don’t think you’ll find it very fascinating.”
“Don’t care. Gimme.”
“May I look at yours?
“If you want. Mostly dick pics, my own dick pics, and all the apps I doomscroll on.” Indy grinned, but then he made a face as a memory popped up. “Although, ew, I did kinda have a stalker for a little while. He sent me some pretty crazy stuff. I kept some of it just in case he ever showed back up—”
“Human or monster?” Mr. Heiss’s demeanor immediately shifted.
“Human. Don’t worry.” Indy shook his head.
“Gammy put a curse on him when he tried to break into our apartment, but yeah, I kept all his crazy shit in case I had to go to the police or anything. He would text and call and call some more and that one time he showed up? Holy shit, he would not stop knocking and—”
Knock, knock, knock.
“What’s his name?” Mr. Heiss asked casually. “For no reason at all.”
Wait, the knocks…
What was it King had said?
Knock, knock, knock.
Indy bolted up and away from Mr. Heiss with a gasp. “Oh my God.”
“What?” Mr. Heiss reached for Indy. “Are you all right? Can you breathe?”
“I’m fine! It’s not that!” Indy cried. “Listen. Holy shit. Holy shit. We have to go. We gotta go right now. I understand we were having a moment and you were not so secretly hinting that you want to pay my stalker a visit, super hot, we will get back to that, but I know who fucking tried to kill Misingno!”
“Excuse me?”
“Post-nut clarity, bitch!”
“But we didn’t—”
“Time to go!”