24. CHAPTER #3
“Interesting,” Mr. Heiss mused, lifting a claw toward Aodnait.
Aodnait patted the very tip, and the crackling sound of her flames sounded like a laugh.
Flanders lifted his head, squinting at Mr. Heiss. “So, you can hear me now?”
“Yes?” Mr. Heiss replied.
“You’re an asshole. Nice shoes though. Mmm, Italian leather. Good choice.” Flanders yawned and dropped his head.
Indy grunted as something wispy but weirdly firm grabbed him. “Oof, hey, Gammy.”
“Oh, sweetie cakes.” Gammy hugged him tight. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” Indy closed his eyes, letting the embrace linger for a long moment. “So fucking much.”
“Language.”
“Sorry not sorry.”
Gammy chuckled. “This has been marvelous fun, but it really has cut into our RuPaul time.” She patted Indy’s cheek, her eyes glistening. “How about we dial back the adventures for a little while?”
“My back hurts, and I still smell like a burp. Yes, no more fucking adventures. Me, you, and Ru, ’kay?” Indy smiled. “And my asshole demon, of course.”
“Yes, yes! Of course!” Gammy grinned, letting go and then turning to pull Mr. Heiss into a hug too. “Come here, you big doofus.” She squeezed hard. “This is the part where you say thank you.”
Mr. Heiss’s eyes widened, he blinked once, and awkwardly patted her back. “Thank you?”
“Yes, thank you to the very nice witch for not banishing you even when you absolutely deserved it. And thank you. For keeping Indy safe. Mostly.” Gammy smirked. “Lord knows it’s a full-time job trying to stop him from waltzing right into trouble.”
“I don’t waltz, I sashay,” Indy corrected.
Mr. Heiss rolled his eyes. “How about you catch a ride back with Lou and sashay home?”
“Don’t we have some, ahem, celebrating to do? Post-battle coitus. Survivor’s sex. Victory bang? I feel like that’s a thing.” Indy called out to Neil and Seymour, “Monster fucking after a battle? Yes?”
“Yup,” Neil agreed, still in Lou’s arms.
“Definitely,” Sariel declared as he clumsily tried to sit up.
“Rest first,” Seymour warned. “Monster fucking later.”
Indy eyed Mr. Heiss. “Nothing to say? Not gonna knock me for my superficial, vapid desire to jump on that demon dick?”
“No.” Mr. Heiss slipped a hand down to palm Indy’s ass. “As I currently share that desire.”
“Get a room,” Gammy teased.
“That’s what I’m trying to do!” Indy laughed and wiggled his hips. “Somebody over here is being difficult.”
“Oh?” Mr. Heiss actually smiled. “I thought you liked it when I’m hard.”
“Aw, look at you! Being all slutty with your little innuendo,” Indy cooed, standing on his toes to smooch Mr. Heiss. “Mm, I feel so proud.”
“Wait until we get home. I plan to make you feel many things.”
“Is one of them fucked out and drooling? Pretty please?”
“Mein Sonnenschein asks so sweetly,” Mr. Heiss purred, giving Indy’s waist a squeeze.
Indy pressed close and teased his lips over Mr. Heiss’s as he murmured, “I’ll ask however you want. Just take your penis and put it inside me.”
“Soon.”
“How soon?”
“Very.”
“Tease.”
There was a small snicker.
Indy glanced up to find that everyone—Lou, Neil, Sariel, Seymour, Day, and even Q.—was staring at them. “What?” he scoffed. “Sometimes an asshole demon just needs to find the right asshole, you know what I mean?”
“They get it,” Mr. Heiss grumbled.
“As in, the right hole.”
“Indy.”
“To fuck. Repeatedly. In various positions.”
Mr. Heiss tilted his head back and—what else—sighed.
Indy beamed. “You love it.”
“He can love it later,” Q. said firmly, though his lips held the hint of a smile. He beckoned Mr. Heiss over, his tentacles slithering up from the ground beneath his feet and readying to swallow him up. “Let’s go have a chat with Mr. Mitternacht.”
“Of course.” Mr. Heiss drew Indy in for a kiss. “I have to go.”
“Hey!” Indy crossed his arms, refusing Mr. Heiss’s lips. “When are you gonna be home? Also, are we talking about home, like, your place? Or are you coming over to mine for this booty call?”
“I will find you wherever you are.”
“Okay, stalker. So, how long am I gonna be waiting for celebratory dick?”
“How about you get started without me and I’ll catch up, hmm?”
“When?”
“As soon as I can.”
“Wrong. Not good enough.” Indy tapped his wrist impatiently. “I need a time. I am talking exact numbers, baby. Then I can bitch at you when you’re inevitably late and you’ll owe me more orgasms to make up for it.”
“I suspect you’re going to do that anyway.” Mr. Heiss cupped Indy’s face and kissed him firmly. “Please. Try to behave yourself.”
“We both know that’s not possible.”
“Lie to me.”
“Well, I could, but—” Indy’s breath caught when Mr. Heiss kissed him again, and he curled all around him before a random thought popped into his head. “Oh! Wait! Hey! Seymour.”
“Yeah?” Seymour asked. “What’s up?”
“So, stay seated, ’cause this is definitely sitting down type news, but… I think I met your dad? Clancy? And he might not be exactly dead because he gave me the ring and—”
“Wait, fuckin’ what?”
Mr. Heiss sighed haggardly. “Tactful as ever.”
“Yes,” Indy agreed. “I am perfect. Thank you for noticing.”
“I wouldn’t want you any other way, Sonnenschein.”