Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
My house was burning, and there was nothing I could do. I was sick with the what ifs. I’d called Mrs. Finnegan, so I knew she was okay, but Antimony… I couldn’t go there. I had to believe she would have gotten out.
The rideshare had taken forever to pick Ranth and me up. Freddie had already driven Ori and Rose to her place as planned, so they re-routed to meet us.
Ranth slid an arm around me as the car weaved through the San Francisco streets. “It will be okay, Sorrel. Ant is very fast. Cats are survivors.” I leaned into him, visualizing sparkles of hope. He was right; Ant was quick and smart. But the gnawing worry didn’t fade.
My street was barricaded, and teams of firemen were hosing down the roof of our neighbors. Arson would take forever to investigate, and I’d either have to stay with Mrs. Finnegan or move up to Bud-Land, USA.
What if Antimony… She was wily. I was ninety-nine percent sure she’d be okay, but that one percent eclipsed everything.
My phone buzzed with a text.
Fabra
See what happens to silly witches? Everything they love goes poof!
Grimacing, I shoved my phone in my pocket. At least Fabra was occupied. Whatever or whoever the Marahk were, they wouldn’t rest until they’d burned my world down—or had Ranth. But once Ranth was back in the Garden, they’d leave me and my friends alone.
The car pulled up, and I leaped out. I got through the first barrier with ID, but the police said we couldn’t go past the next point.
In my imagination, the house was smoking matchsticks, but from our viewpoint, the outside looked okay.
The roof was intact and so were the walls.
Maybe it had been a small fire. The officer asked if anyone was home or any pets and the cold misery of saying “my cat” tore my world apart.
Tears burned my eyes as I called out, “Ant? Antimony?”
I made our favorite clicking sound with my tongue. My eyes were rainclouds. I couldn’t stop the tears.
Nothing. No chirrups. No flick of a gray tail.
There wasn’t anything else in the house except—well, everything. But without Antimony nothing mattered.
Ori hugged me, and I sobbed on her shoulder. She couldn’t be gone. She couldn’t.
Ranth pulled me against his chest, and I could not stop crying as he rested his chin on my hair and whispered, “I would tear the planes apart and drag down the stars to spare you this pain.”
“What if she was inside? What if I’ve lost her forever?” I choked on the sob, soaking his shirt as I buried my face against his chest. He wrapped around me, crushing me against him as if he could absorb all the hurt.
“All I can offer is my heart’s promise that I will bear this sorrow with you. You are not alone.”
Mrs. Finnegan rushed up to me as we passed the barrier.
“Oh, my poor Sorrel. I’m so glad you are safe.
I’m so sorry, dear. All your lovely things and your lovely garden.
They won’t let you in until tomorrow, but you can stay with me until Bud arrives.
It will be all right, though, honey. They were just things.
You have us.” She hugged me in her paper-white flower-scented arms.
I rasped, “But Ant is missing.” I crumpled. Ranth’s arms caught me, and he sank to the ground with me. His energy traced over my skin. I had to be strong and believe in hope. Ori and Rose were talking to Mrs. Finnegan. I knew what I had to do. I pulled back from Ranth, not meeting his eyes.
“I am going to go look for Ant, but I have to get closer.” I pulled a maca root out of my pouch.
Ranth’s fingers curled like a manacle around my wrist. “Don’t.
You are depleted, and you need your strength.
I will go look.” He released his grip, and though I knew he was right, I couldn’t sit here and do nothing.
I had to find her, and I had to know what was left.
I crunched down on the bitter, caramelly root, and the plane slammed down around me.
I kept to the shadows on the plane—no popping in front of uniforms if I could help it.
Ranth kept close. We skulked past the firemen, the police, and the barricade, and as we approached the fire, waves of anxiety crushed my insides.
The basement had stone walls, and it was possible some things could have survived the blaze.
The grimoires were irreplaceable, but there was a good chance…
The heat didn’t pierce the plane, but I hadn’t figured on the smoke.
Hacking my lungs up, I got within ten feet of my front door and couldn’t go any farther.
The kitchen was a ruin, but the rest of the house looked okay.
My eyes streamed with tears, both real and smoke-induced.
I dashed through the plane, and at the edge of the property, I spit the maca out.
The nearest fireman gave a double take as Ranth and I appeared out of nowhere.
Coughing, I sank to my knees. He dropped with me, his arms instantly around me.
Ori rushed over. “Sorrel, are you okay? Did you find anything?”
A loud meow answered. My heart raced, and I leaped up, scanning the dimness and clicking my tongue. “Ant?” I called out, my voice cracking with hope.
A scrabble of claws and the dark shadow of Antimony appeared at the top of a neighbor’s fence. I couldn’t breathe until I yelled, “Ant!” and ran for her.
I plucked her off the top of the wood uprights.
She clawed up my shoulder, so I put her down at my feet.
I dropped to the ground beside her, and she crawled into my lap and purred.
My eyes were fountains as I stroked her gloriously unsinged, smoke-scented fur coat.
She rolled sideways, baring her fine belly fur.
My chest was close to cracking open. Snot strung from my nose.
Nothing mattered.
Ant was safe.
“Oh my goddesses, she’s safe.” Ori came up beside me. “Mrs. Finnegan brought this for her.” Ori set a soft-sided carrier down.
She sat beside us, petting Ant, who was the calmest I’d seen her in a long time. “You two can stay at my place. It’ll be fun.” She slid an arm around me. I leaned into her. Houses could be fixed, and things could be replaced, but friends, family, and cats were forever.
With Ori’s help and a some soothing words, I got Ant settled into her new temporary cave, then I called Bud. He was angry and worried in a ball of Bud-like confused emotion. I convinced him not to drive down. Nothing could be done until the firemen let us inside the line.
By then, Freddie and Rose had found us. “Sorrel, I’m so happy you found Ant. But your house. What can I do?” Rose asked, enveloping me in her arms.
“I don’t think they’ll let us do anything right now.
We need to leave and come back when the fire is completely out.
Freddie, can you drive us up to Bud’s? He’ll deal with insurance and police and whatever else needs to be done.
Rose, you should come to Bud’s too. You can’t go home until this is settled. ”
Rose glared at Ranth and crossed her arms. “I’m not going anywhere with him. He’s what caused this.” She waved an arm at the smoldering house.
“You’re coming with me. Until we get this figured out, we’re stronger and safer together.”
Rose uncrossed her arms and walked around the barrier. She stopped outside of it with her back to us.
“I’ll be right back,” I said. I walked around the sawhorse and then leaned against it, waiting for Rose to turn around. “Hey, you okay? I didn’t check in with you. Did Fabra…”
She turned, swiping at her eyes before stuffing the crystal she’d been fingering into her pocket.
“I’m fine. I almost took her out, but she had some special energy spell thing I wasn’t expecting.
” She leaned against the sawhorse beside me.
I rubbed her shoulder, and she folded her arms around me in a world-eclipsing bearhug.
She whispered into my hair, “Look, I know what you did. I know what you’ve just lost here, and I know it was partly because of me.
I’ll do whatever you need me to do because I owe you and because I love you, Sorrel, but I’m also really worried about you—and I’m angry too. You shouldn’t have done that.”
I pulled back. “Don’t be. I did what I did because I had to.”
She tilted her head. “You made a choice, but you broke your inner pact. The part of you that you keep sacred. You made a promise to your mother and your ancestors to follow your own path, and you broke it tonight messing with the earth.”
My brain exploded in angry flames, but she held up a hand before I could argue. “I know you did it for good reason, but is there ever a good reason to go against your beliefs? To alter your path? To do things you are ashamed of? Because that’s what you did.”
I bit back the bitter reply. She was right about part of it.
I’d trapped the demon under sacred ground and bound Fabra with the use of earth magic.
Magic that wasn’t part of me… until the moment I used it.
And now I’d done something that could never be undone.
I’d tasted the earth. Shame prickled; the earth would live in me now, whether I wanted it to or not, but that still didn’t give her a right to lecture me.
I crossed my arms and then uncrossed them.
“I’m not ashamed of trying to keep you safe.
You mean more to me than wrong choices. You all do.
” I waved a hand at the small gathering around Ant’s carrier.
Tears were pricking at my eyes again as I wrapped an arm around her.
“You’re my family. I literally would not be here without you.
You’ve taught me stuff my mother would have if she’d been here.
You’ve been my mentor and my friend. I couldn’t be what I am today without you.
So yeah, I made a choice, but it was my choice to make.
But you taught me that too—to own my choices.
I don’t regret anything. It’s part of who I am right now, and I’m hoping that will make me strong enough to face whatever comes after this. ” Tears trailed down my cheeks.
Rose grabbed me into another hug, and I sobbed on her shoulder. The loss here had to become part of my history, part of my transition to where I was now. And it was powerful. I would grow on it, but right now it hurt.