Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Sierra collected the dishes from their dinner, setting them in the sink. The minute they were out of her hands, they disappeared.
“Aodhan,” Sierra grumbled, turning around to find him trying to look innocent as he seated himself on her couch. “You can’t always be shifting my dishes to the servants your friends pay for.”
“Why not?” He seemed genuinely confused as to why it wasn’t appropriate to have Kaye and Braan’s servants cleaning up after them.
“Because Kaye and Braan pay them to clean up after them, not me.”
Aodhan lifted one eyebrow. “I disagree.” Sierra rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything, Aodhan added, “They also pay the servants to clean up after me, and half of those dishes were rightfully my mess, so it's fine.”
Sierra narrowed her eyes at Aodhan, but he just motioned to the couch. “Come, relax a bit. You deserve it.”
Sierra took a deep breath, telling herself to let the argument go, and walked over to the couch, settling next to Aodhan. Once she was in place, Aodhan reclined back, pulling her head onto his shoulder with one arm, while he turned on the TV with the other.
“Now, what would you like to watch?”
“Anything is fine,” Sierra replied. She was surprised he knew how to work a TV, considering they didn’t have them in The Hills.
“I only know a few shows, mostly what Braan and Kaye watch, so—”
Sierra cut him off. “I’m sure it’s great. Put it on.”
Aodhan selected some Irish comedy that Sierra had seen ads for, but never watched herself. The screen filled with the characters who looked to be in their late teens and early 20s.
Sierra tried to pay attention, but all she could really focus on was the sensation of Aodhan running his large hand up and down her arm.
She knew it was just supposed to be comforting, but it was having an entirely different effect, and she was feeling light tingles wherever his hand touched.
It had clearly been too long since she’d had sex.
Probably feeling her hesitation, or maybe something else, Aodhan whispered in her ear, “Is it okay to touch your arm like this?”
Sierra nodded. “It’s fine.”
“Are you sure?”
His breath on her earlobe sent chills up her spine, and Sierra let out a light gasp. Aodhan stilled, and before she could second guess herself, Sierra turned to him, placing her lips on his.
Aodhan immediately began kissing her back, moving his hands to run up and down her sides instead of her arms, his thumbs caressing the underside of her breasts with each pass, setting fire inside Sierra’s core.
Her breathing became even heavier as Sierra felt her arousal growing. But along with her arousal came her usual nerves at the fact that sex required taking her clothes off.
Pushing down her anxieties, she reached her hand around Aodhan’s neck to keep his face pressed to hers in case he felt her nerves and decided they should stop.
Taking that as a go-ahead, Aodhan slipped his hands beneath her shirt, caressing her breast through her sports bra. He broke the kiss, breathing hard, and pressed his forehead to hers. “Is this okay?”
Sierra nodded, moving one of her hands down to his waistband, where she could feel his arousal through his jeans.
“If you get uncomfortable, just tell me to stop. We only do what you are comfortable with, okay?”
“Okay.” It came out as a breath, and before she could question whether he had heard her, he pulled her shirt over her head before placing his lips back on hers.
The minute the cold air hit the lesions on her back, Sierra’s self-doubt reared its ugly head, and her heart pounded in her ears.
Instead of focusing on the sensation of Aodhan’s lips on hers, and the feel of his hands on her skin, her mind roared her insecurities on a continuous loop, wondering what Aodhan thought of how her skin looked.
The effect was instant, and her arousal evaporated.
Aodhan pulled back. “What just happened?”
Sierra hastily grabbed her shirt, holding it in front of her body, even more worried now that he had nothing to distract him and could look at her skin and see how terrible it truly looked.
But to her surprise, when she raised her face to meet his eyes, they were focused solely on hers, and he wasn’t staring at her body at all.
“Tell me what’s wrong, mo ghrá,” he whispered, pulling her into his chest and resting his head on hers.
“I…” Sierra started, but then stopped. She wanted to explain, but she was sure Aodhan would laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m just not in the mood.”
“No,” Adohan said, sensing her dishonesty. “Don’t lie to me, Sierra; you were in the mood, then I took off your shirt, and then you felt insecure and stopped. So, let’s try this again: why did you feel insecure without your shirt?”
Sierra could feel the tears gathering in the corner of her eyes, and she pushed them down. She was stronger than this. “I was just worried that you were going to see my skin and then decide you didn’t want me.”
She waited for him to yell or tell her she was being dumb.
But instead, he took her chin in his hand and turned her face to look up at his.
He used his other hand to grab hers. “Listen to me, Sierra, I desire your body because of who you are, not because of the way you look.” He took the hand that was holding hers, pressing them both into his lap, where she could feel he was still hard through his jeans.
“I’m attracted to your heart and your soul, and no matter what you look like on the outside, you are beautiful to me. Understand?”
Sierra’s emotions bubbled to the surface, and although she tried her hardest to press them back down, a tear slipped from the corner of her eye.
Somehow knowing she couldn’t find the words to speak, Aodhan pulled her back into his arms as more tears spilled from her eyes.
“I’ve got you; everything is okay,” he whispered into her hair as she cried.
Sierra didn’t know if it was all the stress from the past few months, or the fact that no one had ever been so accepting when their relationship had gotten to this point, but the tears she was crying relieved some of the pressure she felt in her soul, and once she started, she couldn’t stop.
Aodhan didn’t mind though. He simply sat there, holding her body against his, running his hand down her hair and her back, which was still bare.
She let her soul weep, and she must’ve needed it because, at some point, she drifted off to sleep, having her first restful sleep for as long as she could remember.