Chapter 15 #2
“They’re my favorite crowd.” She grins without elaborating. “You’re a great dad. Nellie thinks so too.”
“I hope so. I’m all she has.” Saying those words out loud hits me like a fist to the gut.
“Would it be okay to ask what happened? Nellie has started to bring up her mom, and I’m not quite sure how you want me to handle it.”
“It’s those damn kids. It never used to be like this, but it’s like they turned eight and realized not having a mom made her different.” I sigh. “Jolene passed when Eleanor was a year old.”
Ms. Thompson sits straighter. “I’m so sorry. Was it an accident?”
A current buzzes to life in my veins. The mixture of guilt and relief never seems to leave me alone. “You could say that. She died of an accidental overdose.” Closing my eyes, I drop my chin to my chest as memories from that night come rushing back.
“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, Sutton.”
And for some reason, I start talking. My lips move without my permission, spilling the trauma I’ve kept locked in for seven years.
“I was the first one on scene. The call came over dispatch with her address, and I was already close. I didn’t give a fuck that my captain was telling me to stand down.
That Silas was telling me he had it. I turned my radio off, and I got there minutes before anyone else. It was like I already knew.”
“You don’t need to tell me anything else.”
My head snaps up, more words spilling out.
“I didn’t love her. We weren’t ever together more than a few casual hookups, but we were friends.
I cared about her. When I found out she relapsed after Nellie was born, I did everything I could to help her.
That’s when my family stepped in to babysit so that she could focus on herself.
She wanted them to. I gave her money, until I learned she was spending it all on her next fix. ”
“I’m guessing Nellie doesn’t know.”
“She knows her mom died because she was sick. She doesn’t know it’s because I failed her.” I give a humorless laugh. “One of my greatest fears is that she’ll hate me when she finds out I didn’t save her mom. The other is responding to a call for someone I care for ever again.”
It’s happened. Many times since that night. Lee’s wife Juniper. Whitney’s kids. The attack at the Sanctuary. Aiden’s wife Isla. All people I care about. All people I keep at a comfortable distance.
My mom, my brothers, Eleanor?
If I got a call that one of them was in a dire situation, I’m not sure I’d survive it.
“You didn’t fail her. And Nellie will know that too when she’s old enough to understand.”
“It was the talk of the town. Almost derailed my career. I’ve done my best to protect my daughter, but with the way these kids are talking, she’ll find out sooner than later.”
“If you need me to kick anyone’s ass for you, I’m happy to step in to keep your image pristine.”
Drinking the dregs of my lager, I give her a sidelong glance. “I heard about that, you know.”
“What?” she shrieks, covering her mouth at the loud sound and glancing toward the stairs as if Nellie’s going to appear. In a hushed voice, she says, “Did Maddie’s mom already call you?”
The bottle clanks against the wooden coffee table as I set it down. “Maddie’s mom? I’m talking about you telling Jeremiah you’re going to beat up his mom.”
Ms. Thompson presses her lips together and avoids my eyes. “As I told your daughter, I only said that because Jeremiah’s mom wasn’t there and I wasn’t in any risk of actually getting into a fist fight. He was being a little shit and tried to kick her off her bike.”
I move into her line of sight. “And what does this have to do with Maddie’s mom?”
She slumps back into the arm of the couch. “It just so happens that Nellie thought it was really cool when I said that, so when Maddie told her she shouldn’t be at the dance tonight because she didn’t bring her mom, Nellie repeated the threat to Maddie.”
“She told Maddie you were going to kick her mom’s ass?”
“In more polite terms, yes.”
“While Maddie’s mom was there tonight?”
She chews the inside of her lip. “I would assume so.”
My shoulders slump with a sigh. “Are you trying to get me fired?”
She holds her palms up. “I know, I know. We already talked about it. Nobody is going to threaten to beat up anybody’s mom. Even if some of them deserve it.”
“They would. And I’d probably love to see it, but you can’t go teaching my daughter that violence solves anything.”
“You’d love to see it?”
“Maddie’s mom can be a bit much.”
“That’s because she’s into you.”
My stomach churns at the same time heat prickles my neck. “Whatever. Stop encouraging violence around my daughter.”
“It’s self-defense, Sutton. It’s a highly effective life skill.”
“For bad guys.”
“Bullies are bad guys.”
She’s being cute.
I need to change the subject before I accidentally say so. My loose lips are not to be trusted this evening.
“Is your blood sugar better?”
“Feels like it.” She pulls out her phone, turning the screen my way. “It’s 97.”
“Good.”
We lapse into a silence for the first time since she brought my daughter home.
“I should probably get going. It’s been a long day, and I’m ready to crash.”
“I could pull out the futon in my office,” I joke.
She freezes upright, halfway to her feet.
“That sounded more chivalrous in my head. I just mean if you ever feel too tired to drive home, I have plenty of room for you to crash.”
“Good thing we live close enough. I’ll be home in bed before you get the room turned over.”
I scrub the heat from the back of my neck at the thought of her in bed. “You’re probably right.”
Looping two fingers through the straps of her shoes, she carries them barefoot to the back door. I follow.
“Oh, by the way, I owe you for the salon. You can take it out of my check.”
I lean a shoulder against the doorframe to the kitchen. “It’s my treat.”
“That’s way too much,” she protests.
“You just gave my daughter one of the best nights of her life. It was worth every penny.”
“In that case, I hope you don’t mind having me around. She had so much fun she’s already invited me to the county fair.”
I didn’t realize hiring a nanny meant I’d have even less time alone with my daughter.
“She did, did she?”
“I told her it was up to you, but if you don’t want to break her heart, I think I’m stuck tagging along.”
“Yeah,” I mutter. There’s nothing else to say when we both know she’s right. Oddly, I’m looking forward to it. She makes my daughter happy. If Nellie’s happy, then so am I.
“See you Monday, Sutton.”
“Get home safe, Alice.”
The shock of me using her name registers on her face for only a moment before she turns and slips out the door.
I close down the house, locking doors and turning off lights on my way down to my bedroom, where I go to sleep with the taste of her name still on my tongue.