Chapter 4 #2
“Please do. You won’t be able to afford to live in Sunset unless you can get another good job…
or unless you move in. We can share my room since I’m not like my brothers and won’t be dropping fifty grand on making up a room for you to then promptly ignore once we get married mere hours later. I’m a bit more frugal than all that.”
“I’d move back home.”
My step falters.
Morana and Maelin’s parents live about two hours from here, toward Washington, DC. The idea of her being anything but fifteen minutes away at all times is soul-crushing. I’d have to move. Follow her. Live in a freaking, quiet apartment all by myself with no sister making me sandwiches anymore.
Hate that.
Stopping in the hall, Morana looks back at where I’ve frozen in place to fantasize the horrors and create the gameplan. Eyes rolling, she mutters, “Quit looking so devastated.”
I drag my hopeless gaze to her. “I don’t want to live in a world without you near me.”
Something cracks in her pretty face. “But…why?”
“Why?”
“Why would I matter that much to you? I’m an irritation. And I do it on purpose. We’ve not even known one another for a year yet. I’m not much to look at. So why? Why would the possibility of a fling with me mean that much to you?”
Not much to look at? A fling? Is she mad? “Why do you think I like you, Morana?” I ask. “Do you think I’m joking or just want to fool around?”
Her head shakes. “No, I don’t think you’re joking. You wouldn’t joke about this kind of thing. And I don’t think you’d approach a relationship with the sole purpose of fooling around.”
“Then why would you call what we could have a fling?”
“That’s what it would be once you realize I’m not worth the trouble. But, by that point, we’d have made any hope of being siblings really awkward.”
I have called this woman a dominatrix. I do believe the hope of being siblings ship has sailed well beyond awkward. “You don’t think I’m serious?”
“I don’t think we fit romantically. It’s probably a proximity thing.
You don’t get out much. I’m the only unattached girl near you.
You didn’t start pursuing me until after Kaleb and Crimson got together, probably because you thought I had a thing for Kaleb and you weren’t going to mess with that. I’m just…convenient.”
I approach her, stopping inches away. “I didn’t start pursuing you when we met because I wasn’t in love with you yet, Morana.
I fell before Crimson and Kaleb were a thing.
I held my tongue because I did think for a bit that you were in love with him and it would be cruel to impose my feelings on you while you were getting over him.
Honesty is important to me. I’m not like my older brothers.
I don’t see any point in keeping any cards close to my chest, waiting on a better moment or opportunity for the heck of it.
I didn’t act out of consideration, and when that consideration became irrelevant, I pounced.
Knowledge is power. I will lay myself bare for your abuse, and I will enjoy the pain.
I do not merely like you, mistress. I love you.
I want you. I would marry you today if you let me. ”
Heat soaks into her skin, and she says, “But…why? What’s so special about me?”
“Everything.”
“That’s a ridiculous answer,” she mutters.
“I’m comfortable around you. You’re quick witted.
You’re funny. You’re strong. You’re patient.
I love the way your brain works and all the things you come up with.
I think you’re fascinating. I think you’re beautiful.
There isn’t a moment that goes by where I do not want to touch you.
I starve for it. The only reason I don’t even test touching you is out of respect for you and the fear I would not be able to stop. I desire everything.”
Her lips part beneath wide eyes, torturing me with the fact I can’t kiss her.
If I dared try, I’d be scrambling to get her behind closed doors.
Any closed doors. Just something that locks.
There doesn’t even need to be furniture in the room.
I’d press her into the wall and take my time exploring every inch.
This is not a subtle wanting.
This is months of wishing our skin would graze. This is months of collecting the spare moments when her fingers have accidentally met mine as she’s passed me things. This is months of yearning to make her mine.
I say, “I’m not your brother. Just because my stupid brother got to your sister first doesn’t mean anything to me. The only family position I’m offering you in my brain, Morana, is wife. Take that or leave it. Those are your options.”
She takes a step back. “I’m leaving it.”
Pain, hot and cold, floods my system, but I nod. “Do you want me to stop pursuing you?”
Her eyes close. “I don’t want to lead you on. I just want to be…family.”
“If you don’t tell me to stop, I will follow you forever, whether you intend to lead me or not.
Until the moment someone else takes you as theirs, I will love you openly.
And, then, I will love quietly, watching for your lover to fail you in ways I would never allow, waiting with bated breath to save you. ”
Grimacing, she glances at me. “So in your demented brain I wind up with you or in a toxic relationship?”
“It wouldn’t have to be toxic. It would just have to fail to make you blissfully happy. All the time.”
“Oh, like you could do that?”
“If you’d let me, yes.”
Her eyes roll. “You can’t even put your clothes in the hamper like I ask, Kyran. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I would fold my clothes in the hamper if you were coming to bed with me, Morana. I’m sure I’d find other ways to tease you if you were with me all night long. But, for now, I use what I can get to scrape together an ounce more of your attention, lest I die without it.”
She cannot meet my eyes anymore as her flesh holds scarlet. “I’m not interested in a relationship.”
“Tell me to stop.”
“I don’t trust that this level of passion is sustainable, and I don’t know what I’d do if I accepted it, then lost it.”
“Then tell me to stop.”
“Kyran…”
Bending, I use one cautious finger to push the curtain of her hair behind her ear, then I whisper, “I am yours, mistress. You own my passion. You cannot lose it. It is sustained by your command. Undo me.”
My phone begins to ring, so I step back and take it from my pocket while Morana breathes heavy and stares at the ground by our feet.
Endeavor.
“Hey, Xander,” I answer.
“You’re on speakerphone on stream,” he says.
I blink. Why is Endy streaming right now if we’re supposed to be collabing tonight?
“Where are you?” he asks.
Ohhh. Streaming is the collab…and it’s now, not tonight. I cut my fingers through my hair and skirt around Morana. “Sorry, what day is it?”
“That’s Emmet’s schtick, Frost. Get over here before he hears you and feels some kind of way about it.”
Last time someone seemed to invade one of Enigma’s jokes, he created a montage of himself lying unblinking in fields with a rain overlay. It was great content, very funny. The video ended with Endeavor, his brother, sighing deeply and shaking his head, before dragging Enigma by the leg toward home.
Then a cursive Fin appeared center of the screen.
I loved it. Who would I be to rob Enigma of more glorious opportunities to troll?
“Maybe I’ll call Sigma and we can start a different stream together. Younger brothers unite.”
“Don’t you dare.”
My phone buzzes as I’m marching toward my gaming room. “Sorry I’m getting a text.”
“Fro—“”
I pull the phone away from my ear.
Enigma: Already opening a lobby for us.
“Endy,” I note, “are you aware that Sigs’s watching your stream?”
“You told me you were making oatmeal!” Endy yells through the house they share.
Distant, Enigma calls, “I’m multitasking!”
Two in the afternoon oatmeal. What a mood.
“Both of you get here right now, or I’m deleting our save file.”
With that, Xander hangs up, and I rush off to work.