Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ALYX
It felt comforting, in a way, to wear my own clothes. Familiar. Made me feel a little closer to home. Just a thread of normalcy.
It didn’t smell the same, though. I noticed the new soapy scent the second I pulled my shirt over my head.
Amazing how one’s sense of smell got used to something like a specific detergent brand, unable to smell it anymore because your clothing had been washed with it for years.
But the second a different scented brand was used, you could catch the unfamiliar whiff immediately.
I made sure to avoid the mirror. My mind had already turned into an epic battlefield. Losing myself would only disarm me more, weaken me more than I already was.
Even though it freaked the fuck out of me knowing Granite had replicas of my stuff placed in this room, I grabbed a hairband and tied my hair.
The blonde strands felt like sandpaper every time they brushed against the bruise on the side of my face.
The rest of my body felt achy too, and I was starting to hope Neon would appear again with some aspirin in hand.
I heard the door unlock, and since she was in my thoughts last, I expected to see Neon. But Onyx was the one who appeared.
“Neon was supposed to bring you something to eat, but she’s currently sulking in her room by smoking a joint and listening to Slipknot.”
“Why is she sulking?”
He shrugged. “Granite told her she needs to come with us tomorrow.”
My throat closed. “Us?”
“Us.” The way he said it, the way he stared at me, I knew the “us” he was referring to included me.
“Where are we going?”
“I can’t say.” His words were clipped, his statement simple.
“What are you going to do to me?”
His posture was rigid, hands tucked into his jeans pockets. “Don’t ask questions, Alyx. Just…just cooperate. Don’t try to be brave.”
“I have to be. I have to be brave. Otherwise, how will I survive all of this? How will I survive your brother?” My eyes burned, tears threatening to show weakness. But I swallowed, clenching my jaw as I willed them away.
Blue irises stared back at me, a face much younger than his brother’s.
“Listen, Alyx.” He stepped closer. “Don’t fight it, okay?
Fighting it only makes it worse. And you’re not strong enough,” he held up his hands, “and I don’t mean that in a bad way.
I mean you haven’t been in our world to be strong enough to handle all this shit with a fight. You feel me?”
“Yeah. I feel you.” My words were laced with sarcasm, the smirk on his face proof he picked up on it.
“I give you my word, Alyx. Cooperate, do as you’re told, and you will survive.”
“How am I supposed to trust your word when you’re holding me captive?” It was a legitimate question, and by the way he rocked backward and forward on his feet, he knew it too.
“Believe me, if I could tell you more to help set you at ease, I would. But I can’t.
” He roughed a hand through his dirty-blond hair.
“I know you have no reason to trust me—to trust any of us. Just don’t fight us.
Soon all this will be over, and if you don’t fuck everything up by trying to be brave and stupid, you’ll be back to your perfect little life dancing at that fancy school of yours. ”
A low, sardonic laugh left my lips. “I don’t think your brother plans on taking me back to my perfect little life, as you put it.”
He gave me a sidelong glance while keeping his head still. The silence around us gave me the confirmation I needed. Onyx knew just as well as I did there was a good chance I wouldn’t return to my life.
“Alyx,” he started, “I like you. I really do, and I wish I could make this easier for you, but I can’t. Not right now. You just need to trust me when I say this will all be over soon.”
The tears escaped. Not just one or two. It was like a fucking river ran down my cheeks, and I couldn’t keep it in anymore. “Nothing is going to be okay.”
“It will be.”
“Then help me. Help me understand him. Help me get inside his head so I can figure out what the hell it is he wants from me.”
Onyx grabbed my shoulders. “Then what, huh? If you have the answer to that, then what?” He gripped tight, fingers digging into my flesh as he shook me. “You’d still be here against your will. You’d still be in the middle of this. Answers won’t mean shit to you right now.”
“I want to go home. I just want to go home.” Sobs wracked through my body, desperation weeping out of me. “I’m so scared, and I just want to go home. Please!”
“Well, you can’t!” His voice erupted from his throat like thunder, silencing me instantly. With teary eyes, I stared up at him, his hands still tight on my shoulders. “You can’t go home. Not yet.”
With a hard tug, I jerked free from his hold, taking a step back. I shook my head while glaring at him. “He won’t let me go.”
Onyx pulled his lips in a straight line, not saying a word. At that moment, he couldn’t even look at me.
“Your brother won’t let me go.”
“Listen, Alyx—” He moved forward, but I stepped back.
“Granite wants me here, whether I want to be here or not. I’m not stupid. I know it’s not simple, and there’s something else going on. But whatever it is, your brother won’t let me go. Of that much, I’m sure.”
Onyx shook his head, hands resting at his sides. “Let’s see how this all plays out.”
“Easy for you to say.” I wiped tears from my cheek with the back of my hand. “It’s not your life hanging in the balance.”
“Are you kidding me?” Onyx’s brows almost touched his hairline.
“You think my life ain’t in danger here?
You think none of our lives are in danger?
” His face turned to stone as he approached me.
“Our lives are in danger every goddamn day. Every time we walk out these motherfucking doors, we don’t know whether it will be our last.”
“That’s your choice.” I clenched my jaw. “Me being here is not my choice.”
“You think it’s a choice? Newsflash, Miss Green. We’re just playing the cards we got dealt, just like everyone else in this wretched world. And this club is all we got. The only family we got.”
I bit my lip, not liking what I was hearing. Even though I believed we were the makers of our own fate, I was in no position to judge. Not with me dancing to my mom’s tune—pun intended.
Onyx stared at me, a grave expression on his face paired with an unnatural stillness.
Granite told me his reason for taking me, said I was his to take.
But something told me there was more to it than mere obsession.
Especially after Onyx gave me the impression something more was going on.
Perhaps, apart from being Granite’s girl in the window, I was a bargaining chip as well.
Collateral. Something to be used for personal gain in the sordid games played in the underground of this city.
Truth was, I had no idea how ruthless these motorcycle clubs could be, so I could not put anything past them.
But one thing I was sure of, there was no way Granite was taking me back to my life.
Not until he had taken from me what he wanted.
I might have been scared and desperate, but I wasn’t stupid.
It was written all over Granite’s face whenever he looked at me.
The promise was right there in his touch earlier, the vow made when he pressed his lips against mine.
“Your brother is not planning on letting me go. Even after you’ve used me for whatever reason…I’m not going anywhere. Not until he’s used me for his own personal reasons.”
One of his eyebrows slanted inward. “You seem sure of that.”
“I am.”
“How?”
I licked my lips, the saltiness of my tears coating my tongue. “I just know.”
“You’re wrong.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not wrong. You’ll see.”
The sky-blue of his eyes turned a shade darker, his face hard. But I refused to look at him any longer and turned my back on him. For a while, we stood there in silence, and it surprised me that Onyx didn’t leave. He had no reason to stay. No reason to stick around in the room with me. But he did.
“Alyx, the only reason we took you—”
“Kidnapped.” I glanced at him over my shoulder.
“I believe that’s the word you should use.
” The animosity dripped from my words, and right then I didn’t care.
My body was drained, my mind weary. And Onyx didn’t intimidate me the way Granite did.
I felt more in control around Onyx, more confident, and that finally led me to this point where I just didn’t give a fuck anymore. Not around him, anyway.
I heard him exhale. Then footsteps. “Granite said to make sure you get something to eat. I knew you wouldn’t be hungry, but I brought you something anyway. I’ll just leave it here for you.”
My tears had stopped, the lingering wetness starting to dry on my cheeks.
“You know so much about my life. Even my fucking eating habits.” Finally, I turned to face him where he stood, a few feet away from the door.
“It seems the American Street Kings interfered with my life long before you kidnapped me.”
“I’m sorry, Alyx. I know we’re not the good guys here, but we’ve never interfered with your life…until now.”
For a moment, I studied him, trying to figure out exactly what angle he was trying to work. Now, I was no people expert, or even close to a goddamn profiler—but Onyx wasn’t showing any sign that he was currently trying to pull off some bullshit act.
I leaned back, surprised yet still uncertain. “Your brother made himself a part of my life years ago without me even knowing.”
Onyx didn’t respond.
I weaved my fingers through my hair, ruining the ponytail I had just tied ten minutes ago. “You and Neon keep telling me nothing is as it seems. Well, maybe you’re the ones who should take a better look.”
He bit his bottom lip, eyes weary, and his hands deep inside his pants pockets. “Get some rest, Alyx.” He left, locking the door behind him.
The sound of the lock became more and more familiar, and less noticeable. This room was starting to blend into my world. Their faces too—Onyx and Neon. But not Granite. Not his face. The man was an enigma, a paradox not meant to fade. Not in my world, anyway.
Alone, standing in the center of the room, I looked at the side table next to the bed. It was a diet Pepsi he left for me. He knew I wouldn’t eat, and I knew the diet Pepsi was a way for him to crack a joke about it. At least he wasn’t making such a big deal about what I ate.
“God,” I cursed, smiling, yet feeling fucking miserable.
Falling down on the bed like nothing but a sack of meat, I closed my eyes. My stomach felt heavy, my skin clammy, yet cold. There was no telling what tomorrow held in store for me, but if the dread that hugged my insides was anything to go by…it wouldn’t be anything good.