Chapter 28 #2
I took a deep breath while pulling my fingers through my hair. These metaphorical walks down memory lane were crushing me, slowly killing me like some wretched disease without a cure. But I deserved it. I deserved to be haunted and tortured by memories, which was why I’d never let myself forget.
Ink and I got back to the safe house before dawn. Of course, after silently pushing our motorcycles to the back of the house, Onyx was sitting on the porch waiting for us.
“Fun night?”
Ink and I glanced at each other, and I looked back at my brother. “Maybe.”
“Where’d you go?”
“Out.”
I paused in front of Onyx, and Ink casually took a seat next to him, lighting himself a cigarette. “She had to be a lousy lay for you to be up at the crack of dawn.”
Onyx glared at Ink before turning his attention back to me. “I know what you’re doing.”
I kicked at the dirt. “Yeah, and what’s that?”
“You’re fucking up Pythons, aren’t you?”
“What makes you think that?”
Onyx turned to face Ink. “Because there’s no way in hell you’d be able to hide your rage if you weren’t purging somehow. So, look me in the eye and tell me you’re not fucking up Pythons.”
Ink smirked at Onyx. “You bet your motherfucking ass we’re fucking up Pythons.”
“Ink,” I started, but he held up his hand while still looking Onyx in the eye.
“You want in?”
Onyx continued to stare at Ink for a few seconds. “Fuck, yeah.”
“Great.” Ink got up then turned toward me. “You know where to find me.”
I nodded, and he went inside the house. Son of a bitch didn’t even think twice about telling Onyx the truth. And within five seconds, Ink managed to get my little brother on board this shit show with us.
Onyx got up and stepped toward me. “I knew you were hiding something.”
“I wasn’t hiding it.” I stomped on my cigarette and brushed past him, not in the mood for another argument.
“Granite.”
I stopped. “What?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t think I had to.”
“Bullshit.”
I turned to face him. “This is not your fight.”
“Are you serious?” He narrowed his eyes. “Are you for real right now? Of course, this is my fight. This is all of our fight. Especially now.”
Pressing my fist against my chest, I glared at him. “This is my doing. I caused this, so this is my fight. Not yours.”
“Then why is Ink on it too? Why are you letting him in?”
“Because it’s the only way to keep his rage from consuming him.”
Onyx pulled his hair out of his face, cheeks red and eyes wild. He took a deep breath. “I know you and I have had our differences. And we don’t always see eye to eye. But you are still my brother, Granite. I still love you. And I can’t stand to watch you carry this burden alone.”
“It’s my burden to carry.”
“No, it’s not.” He shook his head. “No one blames you. Not even Ink blames you for what happened.”
“She does.” I bit my lip as the words left my mouth, Onyx’s stone expression softening a little.
“Only because she doesn’t know. She doesn’t understand. But once you tell her—”
“No.” I cut him off mid-sentence. “She doesn’t have to know anything.”
“What? Why? Granite, Alyx is busy killing herself over this.”
I snorted. “The only reason she’s unhappy is because of me. Because of what I let happen.”
Onyx let out a laugh that sounded more manic than sincere. “God, you’re fucking clueless. Dude, as much as she blames you, she’s blaming herself for what happened to Neon.”
I balked. “What?”
“Yeah.” He raised a brow. “The way Alyx sees it, if it wasn’t for her and this fucking obsession you have with her—”
I shot him a questioning look.
“Oh, yeah,” he tapped his finger against his chest, “I know. In fact, everyone fucking knows that your idea to use Alyx was never just about avenging Dad’s death. Rule number one, big brother—never underestimate your team. It’s insulting.”
I rested my elbows on my knees, rubbing my fists together while avoiding eye contact with Onyx. “None of this is Alyx’s fault. I don’t know why she’d even think that.”
Onyx stepped forward. “Because she has a heart. She sees things differently than we do. We’re a bunch of thick-skinned, hard-assed criminals who learned how to thrive in a cruel world.
But Alyx? She’s part of that little bit of good that’s left in the world, Granite.
So, when bad shit happens, it poisons her because she’s…
Jesus”—he took a breath—“because she’s…pure. ”
I regarded my brother, watching his face while he spoke about her. I’d be blind not to see it. “You have feelings for her, don’t you?”
“What?” He froze. “No.”
I got up and straightened. “Cut the bullshit, Onyx. I’ve seen the way you look at her. I’ve seen you going to her room, checking up on her. As you said, we’re thick-skinned, hard-assed criminals. And we don’t go around caring for people out of the goodness of our hearts. You care for Alyx.”
His silence was all the answer I needed.
In fact, I didn’t need him to say anything.
I knew it was true. I knew it even before the shit hit the fan with Neon and Slither.
Onyx cared for her the second he pulled the trigger that night, killing the guy holding a gun to her head.
Couldn’t say I blamed him. Alyx had this pull to her, like a magnetic field that was too strong to fight.
She was this fragile little thing, yet somehow she was bigger than all of us.
Onyx knew it. I knew it. Even Neon knew it.
Onyx bit his lower lip, sucking it into his mouth as if he were trying to stop the words from coming out. Glancing in the other direction, he tucked his hair behind his ears before facing me again. “You’re right. I do care about her, and the man in me hates that she’s hurting because of you.”
Jesus Christ, I couldn’t even open my mouth because I was too busy fighting the urge to knock his motherfucking teeth out. All I could do without losing my shit was flare my nostrils while slowly tearing him apart with a glare.
Onyx smirked, as if he knew I was teetering on the edge of turning savage on my own blood. He wiped his palm down his face. “But don’t worry, brother. I’m not going to let history repeat itself. You know why?”
“Enlighten me,” I gritted out with a clenched jaw.
“Because this time I’m smart enough to realize she belongs to you. And this time I’m man enough to walk away without resenting you for it.”
My anger went from boiling to simmering, slowly turning down the heat searing my veins. Onyx and I had history that spread far from being mere brothers.
We once loved the same girl, and neither of us was willing to let go.
It wrecked us both and left scars in our relationship that would probably never go away.
But it didn’t destroy the bond we shared—not completely, anyway.
Hearing my brother admit he had feelings for Alyx was a hard pill to swallow.
But the fact that he would walk away so easily earned him my respect as a brother, and as a man.
I approached him, holding out my hand for a handshake. He eyed me cautiously before placing his hand in mine, pulling us together for a one-armed hug and a pat on the shoulder.
I leaned back. “I appreciate that, brother. But this time,” I swallowed hard, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, “this time I’m the one who should be man enough to walk away.”
As I tried to turn around, Onyx grabbed my elbow. Instinctively, I glared down at where his fingers curled around my arm, his grip tight. Threatening.
He stepped forward, eyes almost level to mine.
“Listen to me, and you better listen good,” he said with a low snarl.
“I’ve always walked in your shadow, always stayed one step behind you, letting you do what you thought best even if I disagreed.
But not now. Not when it concerns her.” His grip tightened.
“You don’t get to walk away, Granite. That girl is your responsibility.
You wanted her. Well, now you have her, and you better man up, grow some motherfucking balls, and get over this shitty guilt trip you’re on.
Because that girl in there,” he pointed toward the house, “that girl needs you, even if she doesn’t fucking know it yet.
” He let go of my arm with a jerk, jaw clenched and eyes determined.
“I won’t let you make the same mistake twice by taking the coward’s way out and not doing the right thing. ”
Onyx left, walking into the house. If he was any other man, I would have smashed his skull against the goddamn pavement.
But he wasn’t just any other man. He was my brother, and no matter how much I wanted to tell him that he’d been spitting bullshit from his mouth the last five minutes, I couldn’t.
Because it wasn’t bullshit. Everything he said was the truth, and it knocked me in the chest, radiating right to the black hole where my heart should have been.
Onyx was right…but that didn’t mean I’d listen.