Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
GRANITE
Leaning against the door, I listened to her cries. Every tear she shed was like a hot knife slicing through my flesh. Every cry, every whimper had me bleeding on the inside, slowly rotting and dying.
When I walked into the room and my gaze fell on her fragile form, all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and carry her away—far away from all of this.
I wanted to soothe her, comfort her, take care of her.
But I couldn’t. I was the reason she was broken in the first place.
If it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t have been feeling all that pain right now.
Even through the thin fabric of the clothes she wore, I could see the bones of her shoulders protruding. Her arms were thin enough for me to wrap my fingers around, and her hair was a mess of dirty strands. She was in hell…because of me.
I stood inside that room, silently, listening to her soft whimpers, her rapid breaths.
Being so close to her yet unable to touch her was the worst kind of agony a man like me had ever felt.
I’d taken bullets, survived blades and punches.
But her pain was something I wasn’t sure I’d be able to survive.
It was too much, so I left, a bigger mess than when I went in.
“Fuck,” I whispered while leaning my head to the side and closing my eyes.
“You need to tell her.”
Startled, I looked around and saw Onyx standing at the end of the hall. “You need to tell her, Granite.”
“No.” I stomped off in the other direction. Onyx followed.
“She’s going to kill herself over this. You know that, right?”
“She won’t. This will all be over soon.”
“How?” He grabbed my elbow, and this time I swung around, balling my fist, ready to punch him. But I managed to stop myself in time, biting my bottom lip.
“Stop,” I warned him. “Just…stop.”
“I’m sorry, brother. But this time I won’t stop until you do the right fucking thing.”
“Don’t.”
A threatening grin spread across his face. “Not this time. You tell her, or I will.”
I lost it. His threat pushed me over the edge, and I grabbed his throat, slamming his back into the wall, digging my fingers into his neck while pinning his shoulder with my other hand.
“If you so much as breathe in her direction, I will kill you. I swear to God, I’ll drive my knife through your heart and feel nothing.
” My jaw clenched, nostrils flared, anger resonating from every pore.
“Why the fuck won’t you tell her? She needs to know the truth. How in God’s name can you not see that?”
I let go of him with a jerk, snarling like a goddamn animal. Rage made it impossible for me to put words together. God knew it took every ounce of self-control I had to stop myself from beating my own brother.
“Granite, I don’t get it, man. Telling her will end all of this. Why the fuck—” He paused and narrowed his eyes, staring at me like he managed to catch a glimpse inside my head, hearing my every thought. “You’re afraid.” His eyebrows slanted inward. “You’re afraid she’ll forgive you.”
“What?”
“That’s it, isn’t it? You’re afraid if she knows the truth, she’ll forgive you. You can’t deal with that thought because you can’t forgive yourself.”
I wiped my beard with the back of my hand. “Fuck off, Onyx. Get out of my head and mind your own fucking business.”
“That’s the problem, Granite. It’s not just your fucking business. If it affects the club, it’s all of our business.”
“Not her,” I retaliated. “She’s no one’s fucking business except mine.” I took a step forward, holding a finger in his face. “Stay away from her. I mean it.”
I turned and saw Ink standing behind us. But I only glanced at him before brushing past. If I didn’t leave now, I’d end up smashing my brother’s jaw into pieces.
As I was about to exit the basement, Ink called out, “Onyx is right.”
I stopped but didn’t turn to face him.
“Onyx is right. She needs to know.”
I rolled my shoulders, moving my head side to side to loosen the strain in my neck. The thought of her knowing sent a crawling sensation up my spine that felt all kinds of wrong. “No.” One simple word, and I walked off. But when I got to the top of the stairs, Dutch was waiting for me.
“I think it’s time for a meeting, don’t you?”
“Dutch—”
“Granite. We need to talk about this.” He glanced over my shoulder to Onyx and Ink. “All of us do.”
My jaw clenched, and I bit my lip. Fuck. I didn’t need a goddamn degree to figure out they were about to vote against me. Even though my word was law, I’d never voted against my entire crew. Neither had my father. Would this be the first?
“Fine,” I conceded with a growl. “We wait for Manic, then we can have our meeting.” I brushed past Dutch, and Manic chose that exact fucking moment to walk through the front door. Jesus. Was the universe that desperate to fuck me in the ass?
“What about a meeting?” Manic stared at me questioningly, and then at Dutch. “What’d I miss?”
Dutch stepped in next to me. “We need to discuss the current situation with Alyx and—”
“My vote is we tell her,” Manic said, as if it was as obvious as the sun rising in the east.
“Great.” I held my arms out wide as I spun around. “Seems like you all agree.”
Dutch nodded. “We do. Listen, Granite. We are all aware of your personal situation with Alyx.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I snapped.
“It means we know this is no longer just a war between rival clubs fighting over turf and business. It’s personal now, after what happened with Neon…
for all of us.” He stepped up, closer to me.
“And it’s personal for you because of Alyx.
We get that, and we don’t judge. Right, guys?
” he called over his shoulder, and they all agreed firmly.
“But,” Onyx started, “this has gone on long enough, and Alyx needs to know. The woman is slowly wasting away.”
“I agree,” Ink chimed in. “Besides. She’s going to find out sooner or later.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “So this is what an ambush feels like.”
“No. It’s not an ambush.” Onyx lit his cigarette. “But if you’re completely honest with yourself, and push that guilt trip you’re constantly on aside, you’ll realize it’s the right fucking thing to do.”
Dutch, Onyx, Manic, and Ink all stared at me like they were waiting for me to announce world fucking peace.
They were right. I knew that. But besides my own guilt keeping me from doing the right thing, I wasn’t sure if she was ready.
I wasn’t sure Alyx was ready to handle the truth—especially since it wasn’t pretty.
“She’s not ready,” I said simply. “Alyx isn’t ready. She’s too weak.”
“Don’t underestimate her, Granite.” He blew out some smoke. “I think she’s proven to be much stronger than we all thought.”
“You said it yourself, Onyx. She’s wasting away. She won’t eat because of what she thinks is the truth. What the fuck do you think will happen when she sees it?”
“I don’t know, man. But I’m pretty sure it will be ten times better than it is right now.”
In a bid to avoid eye contact with any of them, I glanced around the room.
Leather couches, dark gray walls, and charcoal marbled tiles on the floor.
This house was any minimalist’s dream…and currently this situation was a goddamn nightmare—for me.
The longer I stood there, the more it felt like the walls were closing in on me.
And knowing she was there too, trapped between four walls, suffering…
it was suffocating me, squeezing every ounce of breath from my lungs.
“I can’t think.” I grabbed the keys to my bike from the table next to the front door. “I’m going for a ride. Maybe I’ll be able to fucking think without you fuckers staring at me.”
They didn’t stop me. They knew better than to try. Fucking with the devil when he was on the edge of exploding was like playing with the lion’s balls. You’d get torn and chewed up within seconds.
Dutch silently followed me out to the garage. He never let me ride alone. Ever. But that didn’t bother me. He knew me long enough to know not to fucking talk, and to keep his distance while he played bodyguard around me.
I put my lid on and climbed on my Harley.
The start of the engine roared, and it instantly calmed the blood burning in my veins.
There was nothing like controlling a beast between your legs, the vibration and sound of pipes singing to your soul while the freedom to soar into the unknown calmed your anger and cleared your mind.
I looked at Dutch, and he nodded. A silent sign of comradery, respect, and support.
No matter what I decided.