CHAPTER 17 ALFIE
ALFIE
I totally shouldn’t be making another coffee right now, but I’m doing it anyway.
My heart’s feeling off in my chest, it has since I walked away from Elodie this morning.
That betrayed look in her eyes made me feel like I was feeding her to the wolves.
That’s an insult to the wolves really, Fiz is way worse.
Cade gets home just after me and heads straight to the gym. I’ve already worked out and I don’t really want to be around him at the moment, while he has that crazed look in his eye. I’ll let him blow off some steam for a bit.
The cleansing weeks are the worst of the year. We all run on a short leash. We struggle to keep ourselves under control. Even after years of doing it, it never gets easier.
It’s got nothing to do with the fact that there is a fresh pussy walking around this house that each of us wants a piece of.
It’s alright for the other two, they’ve seen it, felt it.
Fiz has even fucking tasted it. Me? Nothing.
Zilch. Because I like playing the long game.
It’s not fun just to take, it’s fun to make them beg for me to take.
Well, that – and my respect for Caden, something Fiz is clearly lacking for this situation.
It’s this thought that’s been wracking my brain all day. The fact that I’ve been a good boy over the past five days, not once making any advances, and Fiz might be getting his second taste of her.
I’d tried to convince Cade to let me have her today, but there was no budging him. Prick. Clearly jealous. He should be. She behaves for me, and that is purely because I treat her like a human being, rather than a fucking dog. And Cade treats Sarge better than he treats her.
I’ve told them over and over about the female mentality. They never listen. I’ve given up. I’ll let them ruin shit with Elodie and bathe in all the pussy she gives to me freely. It’ll taste that much sweeter.
When the front door opens, my head whips up from my Avengers Tower. I’m immediately on my feet and flying over to Elodie to inspect her while Fiz drags in two massive bags.
“Relax, Daddy Alfred, she’s fine,” Fiz says, walking towards the kitchen.
I cup her face, inspecting her. “Are you fine?”
Her blue eyes sparkle back at me, no sadness or pain there, no extra than there usually is. “Yes.”
I drag my fingers from her cheeks down to her jaw, then her neck. Her bruises are fading now, most of them yellow except…
I tilt her head to the side. She yelps at the swift move.
“Is that?” I move her face to look at me.
She gives me a bewildered look. “What?”
I whip round to find Fiz. “You gave her a fucking hickey?”
Fiz lifts a shoulder, a ridiculously smug grin on his face as he brings a water bottle to his lips.
It seems El was as much in the dark as I was. “You gave me a hickey?!”
Fiz chokes on his water this time, bursting into laughter.
“Oh my God!” she cries and runs out the room, I’m guessing to find a mirror.
I run a hand down my face. “Boy, you really do like playing dangerous games.”
“It was unintentional, bro. We had a little moment, I obviously got carried away. You heard her, she’s fine.”
Something sharp cuts through my chest. “Moment? What fucking moment?”
He shrugs again, comes into the living room and plops down on the couch. “Oh, it was nothing. Should have heard her beg though, Alf, that shit could send me loopy.”
I lick my teeth. “Cade’s not going to be happy with you.”
“Oh, please, he’ll thank me that that’s the only thing I did do. The chances were high of me doing anything. You should be proud of me. Unsupervised with her and a hickey is all I did? You don’t give me enough credit sometimes.” He grabs the remote and flicks on the TV.
“Congratulations, you controlled your urges like a grown man. Man of the fucking year.”
I stalk off in search of El. I find her in one of the downstairs bathrooms. Her eyes and cheeks are wet as she cranes her neck to see the damage.
I take her face into my hands again, pulling her gaze away from herself. “Listen, I’m sorry Fiz did that to you, he’s a prick.”
Another tear falls down her face. I stroke it away with my thumb. “Why can’t they be like you? If they were both like you, then I’d be fine. We’d all be fine.”
I offer her a sad smile. “I’m one of a kind, baby, I’m afraid. But at least you do have me. One out of three is better than none, right?”
Her small hands come up to hook onto my forearms between us.
Her hands are cold but soft. The contact sends a concerning amount of heat through my body.
Every rare occurrence where our bare skin has collided, it’s ignited this same confusing, awakening fire within me. Each time it gets a little hotter.
I have to take a long breath to keep my cool.
“Why haven’t you tried anything?” she says, voice timid. “Are you being nice because you’re not attracted to me?”
Gees, this girl really is broken. There’s too much in those questions to unpack right now.
The obvious neglect she’s experienced makes her want to romanticise the only bit of security she finds.
Or having the only nice guy in her life not making advances makes her feel ugly and unwanted. Way too much to dive into.
I have to approach this carefully. She’s so fragile that one wrong word, one wrong tone, and she’ll shun me.
“Baby, listen to me,” I say, voice slow and careful, “You are one of the most attractive women I’ve ever met.
You shouldn’t be questioning why I haven’t tried anything, you should ask why they have.
It’s about our characters more than yours.
I love my brothers, but we’re very different when it comes to women.
I know you’re probably used to their treatment more than mine, so you’re finding it hard to navigate my behaviour towards you.
But trust me, what I’m doing for you is more normal than what they are.
Okay? I’m not going anywhere. But I’m also not going to take advantage of you. ”
She sucks her lips in, pressing them into a thin line, and blows out a long breath through her nose.
I study her as she avoids meeting my gaze.
I look at her how I have all week. I see the beauty beneath the wounds, see the strength behind the sadness.
She’s fierce, but still so soft. Delicate.
From a world that has tried so hard to break her, to turn her into something dark and terrible, she refuses to yield. She still remains soft.
The restraint I’ve had out of respect to Caden withers a bit.
One teeny moment of indulgence won’t hurt, will it? I can give in for one little second. Maybe if I give myself a small taste, it’ll douse this growing inferno inside me just enough to stop me burning alive.
I lean forward and press my lips onto her forehead.
I hear her stop breathing for the couple seconds I hold my mouth to her skin. Hunger fills my veins. Images of all the other places I’d like to put my lips on her body swarm my brain.
I break away before the urges boil over.
“I’ll spend tomorrow with you, okay?” I say, letting her go so I can calm my hammering chest. “I can take you into the gym. You need some meat on those bones if you’re going to survive the hunt night.
” She frowns. “The figurative sense, El. You’ll survive, but your lungs might not if you don’t build your stamina up. ”
Her face softens. “Thank you, Alfie.”
I give her a tight smile. “No problem. Come on.” I slide an arm around her shoulders. “You’re eating dinner with us again tonight.”
Sharing that tender moment has done nothing to quell my desire nor curiosity for her. If anything, I’ve made it ten times fucking worse.