CHAPTER 19 ELODIE
ELODIE
Alfie’s body is a work of art.
Yesterday in the gym, I could barely focus on what he was asking me to do.
He’d dressed in a pair gym shorts, baring those ridiculous huge thighs and bulging calves.
And they’re covered in tattoos too. More animals and mythical beasts, hours upon endless hours of pain to transform himself into something worthy of being displayed in a gallery.
Then he took his top off halfway through the session, showing his back with the same black shaded ink.
His whole back is a landscape piece of a wolf standing on top of a cliff, howling to a full moon; the entire left side of his back is full of trees and mountains. It’s incredible.
It’s impossible not to gawk at him. Every dip, bump, and curve of him has been finely carved over years spent in a gym, lifting weights I couldn’t even begin to think about ever lifting, even if I trained for the rest of my life.
You can tell his gym is his sanctuary. He knows every piece of equipment intricately, explained the exercises and their connections to our muscles with passion. So much so I even wondered if he’d taken some sort of sports science course.
I was an abomination in there, to no surprise.
What was surprising was Alfie’s patience with me.
I must have made a mockery of the training world, must have looked an absolute fool to someone so in tune with the activity of physical exercise.
But not once did he show any disappointment, irritation, exasperation.
Not one second. He walked me through everything, offered so much praise after every failed or successful rep.
With someone like him training me, I feel like I could eventually lift the world.
He’s officially perfect. He’s done everything possible for me. All the nurturing, the care, the tenderness. I still can’t believe he’s related to that monster. But that’s the thing. He’s too good to be true. Caden told me he abstains from other things. Alfie didn’t elaborate. He’s an addict.
Of what, I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter.
From my upbringing under a drug lord, I’ve seen many addicts.
Seen what they’re capable of. What they say and what they do.
The thought of this sweet, kind Alfie being one of them is more than unnerving.
But I lock that information into a tight box deep within the darkness. He would never hurt me.
Caden comes into my room – his room – early this morning, while the sun still has that gentle caress on the eyes, breaking my trance. I know it’s him before I even sit up and look over the top of the bed from the floor.
Alfie always announces himself before he’s even stepped over the threshold, Fiz hasn’t come back in here since that God-awful first encounter with him, where he gawked up at me from between my legs and acted like he was the sweetest angel in the world. I feel he’s just biding his time.
But Caden remains silent. He just fills the room with his stuffy, suffocating presence whenever he walks into it. Out of spite, I don’t sit up so he’s forced to speak and announce himself.
It starts with an awkward clearing of his throat. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” I mutter.
His footsteps start again and he rounds the bed, coming to stand over me as I remain lying on his floor. “It’s an important day today.” He rakes his fingers through his frazzled black hair. “So, I need you to be… cooperative.”
Is he… nervous? Should I be nervous? “What’s going on today?”
His prominent Adam’s apple bobs, and he looks off to the side, out the window. “It’s an engagement party… of sorts.”
Engagement party? “Who’s getting married?”
Caden fires me a sharp Are you serious? glare.
Oh whoops.
That’d be us two.
“Right, my bad.”
I’d laugh at my disassociation from my reality if I wasn’t too busy trying not to freak the hell out at this new bombshell. Right, sure, no one knows about the bet. To everyone else, we’re getting married and driving off into the sunset together. Shit.
My chest suddenly feels tight at the rush of questions swarming my brain. “Who’s going to be there?”
He brings his gaze back to mine, locking me with those mossy eyes. “Everyone.”
That’s so vague and so detailed at the same time it makes my head spin. “My father?” He nods. “Your father?” He nods again.
Shit. I haven’t even met my future father-in-law yet. And I don’t want to begin to contemplate having to see my own father again. I was hoping to be rid of that bastard.
I finally sit up and scoot back so I can rest my back on his bedside table, shoulders slumped forward. I’ve just woke up and I’m already exhausted.
Does everyone mean everyone in our little world? Will the others be there?
You know they will be, the darkness whispers.
Wringing my fingers in my lap, I whisper, “Do I have to go?”
He sighs quietly, as if he’s already sick of my whining. “Yes, Elodie, you have to go. Being half of the engagement parties, and all.”
I squeeze my eyes shut as every nerve spikes to high alert. My whole body is tingling with anxiety. “I don’t do well at those sorts of things.” I don’t know why I’m confessing a weakness to him so willingly, as if there’s any chance he’d have a lick of sympathy for me.
Caden sighs again, and to my surprise, he crouches down to get more level with me. The notion makes my eyes drift up to meet his once again.
I’m not sure what’s swimming there in the marshes as he stares, but if I were a dumber person, I’d say there’s a subtle hint of sympathy… or understanding of some sort.
“Me too,” he says quietly, and it feels like he’s just as nervous confessing a weakness as I am. “But it’ll only be a couple hours, then we can both come back and resume this tiresome game of resistance you insist on playing.”
A smile tugs at the corners of my lips. Is he placating me? Is he actually trying to settle my nerves?
I pull in a deep breath, shoving down the growing angst. I will not be weak in front of him. I’ve shown so much just now, that’s as far as it goes. If that means suffering through what could possibly be the second worst night of my life just to prove I’m stronger than he thinks I am, so be it.
“What can I wear? I doubt I can show up in one of your Slipknot tees and ripped jeans.”
He doesn’t smile, but I could swear his dark eyes lighten with a little amusement. “Maggie will help you. She’s got an outfit for you just for tonight. She’ll help do your makeup and whatever else you want.”
I so badly want to ask why he’s being so nice. Is he trying to keep my defiance in check because he desperately needs this to go well in front of his father?
I nod, not sure what else to say.
“You’ll wear a choker to cover up that neck too.”
I cock an eyebrow at him. “Why?”
He licks his teeth. “You have scabs from sawing off a dog collar plus a hickey that my best friend gave you. My tastes in the bedroom may be vastly known to the people we’ll see tonight, so they may not seem surprised at the state of your neck, but I do not need anyone staring at you and making comments or asking questions. You’ll cover it up. Understood?”
I tilt my head to the side and attempt to shove down my surprise. What on earth are his tastes in the bedroom?
I dismiss it because I don’t care. “Alright, fine.” I drop my head again to face my lap, unable to be held hostage by those eyes any longer.
He straightens and hovers a few more moments before saying, “I’d really like this to go well, Elodie. If it doesn’t, it’d just give us both hell. It’s best just to fake our way through it, for both our sakes, okay?”
I nod. I know he’s right. But the hatred between us runs so deep, it’ll be a miracle if we can pretend otherwise.
I scrub my face. Faking happiness with Caden seems as impossible as escaping here.
I wish Lewis was here to give me his magical words that would reassure me, soothe the anxiety that’s crippling my insides.
He’d tell me something like, “You’re a badass bitch, El, don’t let none of them wastes of semen get you down.
” Or maybe, “If you’re supposed to be Caden Blackwood’s girl, then you go in there and show them what that should look like.
Show them that you’re too good for him, because you are. ”
But he’s not here. He won’t say anything to help my depleted self-esteem. And he won’t be there to get me through the night. He won’t be here to get me through any more treacherous nights.
Tears prick my eyes and a deep ache forms in my chest as a fresh bout of desiderium rolls in like a thunderstorm. What I wouldn’t give just to have one more cuddle from him. One more encouraging smile.
***
I’m staring at a stranger in the mirror. Or a ghost of my former self. I look… kind of pretty. It’s unnerving.
Maggie came in after lunch and dolled me up.
She’s a no-nonsense kind of woman. I guess you’d have to be, working for these types of degenerates.
She didn’t talk much except offering me one piece of advice: “Tonight, you are Caden’s fucking slave.
If he decides he wants you to drop to your knees and suck his dick in front of everybody, you do it.
Trust me, girl, there will be no salvation for you if you don’t. ”
I didn’t tell her that if he tried to do anything of the sort, I’d grab the nearest butter knife and ram it into his balls until all the contents drained from them.
But I must admit, it got my back up. Caden’s the most powerful person in my life now, but at this party…
his father will be top dog. He’s not at the top of the ranks, the masked man is at the very top, but I don’t think he’ll be there.
I hope to God he won’t be. He’s too elusive to be seen at some inane engagement party.
Either way, Caden’s superiority will be muted tonight.
So, if I were to deny him anything he demanded of me, I wouldn’t have just him to answer to.
I just have to pray his disgust of me travels through this evening and he won’t ask me to do any such thing.