CHAPTER 34 ALFIE
ALFIE
I get back after dinner, sack full of evidence slung over my shoulder.
It’s been a gruelling couple of days, and that’s taking out the sheer terror at nearly losing my cousin.
I’m drained beyond comprehension. Sending me into a den of nitties to dispatch was not my idea of relaxing before The Hunt.
And then having to take a detour and get back Drago’s property that Caden “failed” to get last night.
What did Russell expect him to do? Get stabbed and somehow still retrieve the stolen goods?
Knowing Russell, that’s exactly what he expected.
Luckily for me, the house was empty when I arrived.
I simply walked straight in, got the gold, and got the hell out of there.
I feel like I’ve spent all my pent-up energy. This is when I’d usually come home, get sucked off until all my taut muscles seep into the bed and then pop a pill to float off into oblivion for a couple of days. But no. Stupid fucking sobriety.
I go down to the basement and dump the clothes and videotapes that need to be burned and haul myself back up before seeking anyone out.
I’ve stressed over Caden all day, but weirdly, I’ve been more worried about El.
It was a strange revelation, finding myself eager to get home to see her.
I know Caden’s incapacitated to do anything, logically anyway, but I know him.
If she managed to piss him off, he’d still do something stupid.
Fiz being here brought no comfort, the bastard would probably join in.
I allow myself a moment to assess the possibilities I’m about to walk into on my way to Cade’s bedroom, carrying a new packet of biscuits I picked up on the way home.
If he’s done something, I get to play hero and have those sad, grateful blue eyes pinned to mine.
Or it’s been impossibly civil and I get to sit with her for a while and soak in that weird solace she gives me.
I find her in her usual spot on the floor, and to my surprise, she’s got her head in a book.
It’s a bike mechanics manual. Caden’s bike mechanics manual.
I stare at it blankly for a moment, trying to process exactly what I’m seeing.
When I can’t, when my brain can’t fathom it, I say, “What on earth are you reading?” Crossing my ankles, I lower onto the floor by her feet.
“Caden gave it to me. It’s the most boring thing I’ve ever come across.”
I note how deep she is into the book. “But you’re already halfway through.”
“Because I’m waiting to find the subliminal message hidden between the nuts and bolts.”
I chuckle, a warmth creeping up on me that I haven’t felt since last night. “And what subliminal message would that be?”
“Why the fuck he gave me this book in particular. Must be a threat hidden in these pages somewhere. About how he can unscrew and uncap me until I’m nothing but a pile of bones.”
My chuckle grows into a hearty laugh that fills the quiet room. “You know he could do that without threatening you, El.”
She huffs, closing the book. “I thought he was being nice by giving me something to read, but I see his torture tactics were still in play. Reading about motorcycle mechanisms is worse than watching paint dry.”
I nod. “It was still nice he gave you something to do, though. How did that come about?”
She blows out her cheeks. “Honestly, have no idea. I did my transaction today, moaned about being bored and he just… offered to give me a book.”
I give her a raised eyebrow look that says, See, he’s not that bad, is he?
She levels me with an unimpressed glare. “Alfie, giving me a fucking bike manual doesn’t erase the shit he’s done to me. He still won’t give me any of my own clothes, for crying out loud.”
I raise my palms. She rolls her eyes, and I find myself grinning.
There’s something that feels like home with Elodie. Coming home here is comforting, but coming home with her here brings me a solace that I haven’t really filtered through yet. I don’t know her, but I do. I see a lot more than she knowingly lets me.
This girl wants to be taken care of, but she doesn’t want to seem weak. That’s screamed in the way she always fights back, but contrasted by the way she lets me tuck her hair behind her ear, or the blushed cheeks at every meal I prepare for her.
I don’t know what it is, really. I know we’re already connected by being in the same underworld.
A place that is only truly understood by few.
But it’s the tortured look in her eyes that matches mine sometimes.
I don’t think she’s ever been addicted to anything like me, but the grief is there.
She mourns the life she had when her brother was alive.
I mourn the life I had before things got out of hand.
When I actually felt like a functioning human being.
She wears it on her face more than Caden does. He just gets on with it, buries it down deep. But Elodie clings to the memory of having someone care about her, having someone who made the bullshit of life a little more bearable.
I clear my throat, realising she’s staring at me. “Been up to much today?”
She scoffs, pulls up her hands and starts counting fingers.
“Let’s see… woke up this morning and had a gun held to my head, got finger-fucked on the kitchen island.
I watched creepy men install cameras in here and in the bathroom.
Then I did my job for the day while being gawked at by Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Then got handed a bike manual that makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out, but the alternative is recounting the cracks in this ceiling for the thousandth time. What about you?”
I scrub my face with my hands. For fuck’s sake. “Let me guess, Fiz instigated the finger-fucking.”
Her cheeks glow a bright red in an instant. She drops her head, staring down into her lap. “Wasn’t him. He held the gun while the other one did it though.”
I tilt my head. “Caden did it? What did you do?” She whips that scowl at me, so I tut. “He wouldn’t do it for no reason, Elodie, what did you do?”
Her hands fly to her face to mask her humiliation. Oh shit, she did something bad.
I almost have to bite my lip to hide my growing amusement. “What did the little, innocent princess do, hmmm?”
She moans behind her hands, the sound of complete embarrassment and shame. “I got off on Caden while he was unconscious.”
The bark of laughter that spurts out of me makes her jump, dropping her hands to look at me in outrage. “Oh, El, that’s fucking class.”
She stares at me while I laugh it off, the mental image of her using Caden while he’s in a fucking coma tickling my brain.
“You don’t think I’m disgusting?”
This makes my laughter fizzle out. “No, El, of course I don’t. If anything, I’ve finally got some respect for you. You saw the opportunity, and you took it. God knows your supposed fiancé isn’t giving you any pleasure while conscious, so why the fuck not?”
The red on her cheeks deepens but they pinch into a shy smile. “He made me feel pretty shitty about it.”
“Of course he did. He’s not going to thank you, is he? Tell me the dirty deets, girl.”
Her mouth twists up in bashful hesitation, but she eventually does.
“He was so close to coming. That turned into my objective in the end. It was no longer about me. I wanted to make him break this stupid abstinence beneath me. I would have got so much satisfaction from that.”
This sobers me a little. “As bold as that is, you should be grateful he came round before he came. He probably would have topped you for that. The Cleanse and Hunt are the most sacred things to him.” Bar that book she’s currently clutching in her lap.
She picks at her fingernails. “Yeah, well, lucky me.”
I grab her foot and give it a squeeze. “You gotta treat these boys like their dogs. Don’t let them smell your fear, baby.
Fighting back is good, but only if you can take the consequences too.
Caden might not admit it to you, but he would definitely have been impressed by the size of your balls for that.
That’s what he needs, really. He’ll deny it to the day he dies, but he probably got hard at the thought of meeting his match with you. ”
“But he’s right,” her sweet voice drowns in defeat, “whatever I do to him, or Fiz, I’ll get it back tenfold. There’s no outdoing him. I’ll always come out worse.”
I bob my head side to side. “True. Well, you know the simple solution to that problem, right?”
She rolls her eyes. “Behave.”
I pat her shin. “Exactly.”
“Not going to happen. I’m out of here in three days.”
I admire her determination. And naivety. “That’s the spirit.” I give her leg another pat and get to my feet. “I need to eat. You need to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” I hand her the packet of biscuits, and she gives me a grateful smile.
“Alfie.”
I turn back. “Yes, baby?”
“Do you think I actually have a chance?”
I disguise my tired sigh with a smile. “He is wounded now. Could use that to your advantage.”
She frowns. “What do you mean?”
I may be drawn to this girl, but I’m not about to give her tips on how to win this bet. I want her to stay, too. “Use that nerdy little brain of yours.” I give her one more smile, and as I pull the door, she calls me again.
I step back in. “Yes?”
Her cheeks are slightly blushing. “I was wondering… Could I have a razor, please?”
I cock a brow at her. “What for?”
“To shave, obviously.”
I look down her body as if I can see the hair through her clothes. “No way. No sharp objects.”
Her shoulders droop. “Please? I look like I’ve been growing fur for the winter.”
I chuckle, lean on the doorjamb, and slide my hands into my pockets. “No. Sharp. Objects. Especially not before The Hunt. Maybe after, we’ll see.”
Her face hardens. “After The Hunt I’ll be free to go and buy my own damn razor.”
I snort, push off the doorframe. “Okay, princess, sure thing. Goodnight.” I give her a wink and leave, clicking the door shut behind me.
I want her to stay, but I’d also love to see her fuck Caden up a little too. However, there is no way I’m giving her anything she could use as a weapon against my cousin. Whether that was her intention or not, I’m not risking it.
Once I’m halfway down the hall, I let myself think back to the book.
I could have told her, but what difference would it actually make?
She doesn’t know Caden; how his actions always speak louder than his words relating to every emotion that exists.
If I told her, she’d spit it back at me like some piece of chewed-up paper.
But it’s a huge sentiment.
The book El’s ploughing through dubiously is a piece of Caden that no one else has touched before. It’s always been weird to me how he’s protected it like the pages are made of wafer-thin glass. It’s his favourite, most sacred thing.
And he gave it to Elodie.
This is the biggest deal. A peace offering in a language only Caden and the ones closest to him can speak.
It won’t mean anything to her. Caden is still a monster, and Elodie is still his prisoner.
But Caden giving Elodie that book means something huge to him.
It either means he’s apologising to her…
or declaring his fucking love for her. Maybe it’s his way of thanking her for saving his life.
Who fucking knows? You can never tell with Caden.
But this is big… and I don’t think he knows how to deal with it.