CHAPTER 44 ELODIE #3
“That’s because you’re a dirty little whore.” He releases me and steps away, taking every drop of heat with him.
My body shudders at the temperature drop, and I struggle to catch my breath. “What the fuck?” I turn around and slump against the mirror, heavy and wobbly.
Caden gathers up the clothes. “You’re that desperate for it, Elodie, you’ll take it from anyone. Come on.” He unlocks the door and throws it open.
I’m knocked for six by this sudden change of attitude. It feels like I’ve been flung against the wall. I storm out after him. “You know, if you treated me the way Alfie does, then maybe I’d be the same with you!”
He flings around, making me halt. “I’m not Alfie, am I?
I’m the man you’re going to marry and spend the rest of your life with.
And the more you give that pussy up to anyone else other than me, the more miserable I will make your life.
Now, let’s go.” He grabs my hand and shoves his fingers in between mine, and drags me out.
Caden asks the girl, Millie, to take the heap of clothes to the counter, then storms out, yanking me with him.
He stops in the shoe section, grabs a basket, and gathers up a pair of white trainers, some sandals and heels that go with most of my outfits, then over to the loungewear, picking up several sets of pyjamas, not offering me a single word or even a glance.
I’m helpless but to tag along as he never lets go of my hand.
I’m still trying to process everything that’s just happened and is still happening by the time we reach the counter, where he finally releases my hand.
He makes small talk with the guy at the till while I’m still trying to gather the rest of my senses that were obliterated in the fitting room.
Caden carries the bags and leads us back to the car. I get in the front while he puts the bags in the boot.
Once he’s behind the wheel, I turn to him. “Why do you get a kick out of humiliating me?”
He doesn’t spare me a look, looking at his phone as he says, “You literally answered your own question.”
“Just the humiliation? Why, what did I ever do to you? We didn’t even know each other when I came here, and you decided before we even met that you weren’t going to like me.”
Caden shrugs. “You’re not my type. And your family isn’t my cup of tea.”
“That’s what it’s about? Some politics bullshit that has nothing to do with me?” I laugh. “What a joke.”
“I’ll tell you what is a joke, Elodie,” he says, voice hardening.
He tucks his phone into his pocket. “It’s you thinking you’re some fucking perfect little girl who’s just a victim in all this.
We all live the same lives here. We’re all miserable, we all do things we don’t want to do.
You just play on it too much. You play this damsel in distress and dumb idiots like Alfie play into it, but I don’t.
You get pissy with me because I see straight through your little facade. ”
I fold my arms. “There’s no facade. Me and Alfie get along because he actually started off by being nice to me.”
“And I didn’t?” Caden slaps a hand to his chest. “I haven’t given you chance after chance?”
Is he kidding? “You locked me in a basement, put a dog’s shock collar on me, cuffed me to the fucking bed, assaulted me on multiple occasions. Need I go on?”
He laughs menacingly. “That’s me being nice to you, Elodie. Fucking hell, if you knew how much patience I’ve had to have with you. You’d be dead and buried within the first twenty-four hours if I got my way.”
“How fucking charming. I’ll be so lucky to have you as my husband.”
He licks his teeth. “Watch your mouth.”
“Or what? You’ll shove your cock in it to shut me up?”
There’s no patronising laughter at that. His whole demeanour darkens and hardens into something threatening and deadly. “Again, I’m going to give you one more chance. Because I swear to fucking Christ, I cannot take your attitude anymore.”
“So do it then! Fucking kill me then, Caden. Because I swear to Christ, as long as you keep me alive, as long as you’re so horrid to me, I will make your life as miserable as you make mine. All I want is for you to be kind to me. Do you not think I deserve that?”
He studies me for a second. “You think I owe you that? You think you’re owed kindness?
Why, because you lost your brother? Newsflash, people die and the world and everyone in it sucks.
People lose things they care about every day.
But most people don’t walk around waiting for someone else to make their lives better.
They suck it up and carry on. What makes you think you’re so special that you deserve to have other people make you happy? ”
I laugh, almost manically. He has no clue how wrong he is.
“I don’t want a goddamn thing from you except a little bit of autonomy.
Kindness is free, but apparently, to people like you, it costs too much.
I get delivered to you like an insentient prize that you can do as you please with.
You’re the one making me miserable. I was fine before you came along. ”
He snorts. “Of course you were. That crippled little skeleton in a wheelchair was really living life to the max. I gave you the opportunity to comply, you threw it in my face with your snotty, too-good-for-me attitude. You had no respect, so you get none back. We’ve had this conversation a thousand times. ”
“Oh, please. You didn’t like me before you met me because of my last name. You were begging for me to be a bitch so you could treat me how you really wanted. That fake nice guy act wouldn’t have lasted. You’ll probably lock me downstairs as soon as you put that ring on my finger.”
His smirk has my insides wringing. “I’ll have to lock you somewhere else now. Can’t be that predictable.”
“So, I’m right.”
He rolls his eyes. “No, Elodie, you’re not right. I can’t impregnate you while you’re locked up, can I?”
If my insides were twisting before, now they’re completely contorted.
You need to get away from him, the darkness hisses.
I go for the door handle. Unsurprisingly, it’s locked. Panic sets hard in my chest and I start banging on the window, screaming, “Help, help! Somebody help me!”
Caden grabs me by the back of my neck and yanks me back. “Will you stop with the dramatics? God, you are such a headache.”
I thrash around. “Get off me! Let me go!”
“No, you need to calm down. Or should I just take you into the backseat and fuck you until you pass out?”
This makes me freeze. “If you try, I’ll kick you so hard in the balls they’ll fall off.”
He pulls my neck closer to him, pulling me out of my seat so I’m nearly in his lap. He says, deadly quiet and calm, “Don’t tempt me with a good time, Elodie. The more you fight, the more I enjoy it. You should know that by now. Or shall we recreate the scene in my bedroom on Hunt Night?”
I shake my head, panic still pumping thickly in my veins.
“Good.” He lets my neck go and I scramble towards the window, panting and sweating.
He finally begins to drive out of the car park.
Once I’ve caught my breath, I hiss quietly. “You can torture me and hurt me all you like, but if you keep me alive and stuck with you, I’ll bring you fucking hell. I’ll be the biggest bitch you’ve ever met in your fucking life.”
He leans his head back on the headrest, relaxing back in a way that tells me he’s about to explode.
But he doesn’t, he turns his head to the side and glances at me.
“Elodie, you’re not a bitch at all.” He speaks in such a calm way I can feel something brewing in the pit of his stomach, a dose of venom building up in his fangs.
“What am I then, Caden, tell me.”
He turns back to the road. “You’re not a bitch.
Or a brat or a whore. You’re worse than any of that.
You’re just a little broken thing with no personality of her own.
You’ve been battered and squashed and ripped apart until nothing of the original Elodie Valor remained.
So you decided to become the thing you hated.
Shroud yourself in a suit of armour made of the things you hate most in the people around you.
Become the thing that hurts you, then the things can’t hurt you anymore, am I right? ” He glances over at me again.
He could have slashed a scalpel across my body and it would have the same effect as those words.
He turns back to the road. “The sweet innocent girl facade with Alf isn’t the only one you keep up, Elodie.
You’re also keeping this vicious, mean girl facade up with me.
But in reality, I don’t think you even know who the real Elodie Valor is.
I think you’re just existing. I don’t think there’s any real life inside you at all. You’re empty. Hollow.”
He turns the radio up to an ear-piercing volume as if there’s nothing more to be said. He wouldn’t be wrong. Any and all words leave my brain, replaced by a crushing revelation that sucks all the oxygen from my lungs.
He’s right. I don’t know who I am anymore. When I lost Lewis, I lost myself too. And all I’ve been doing since is trying to survive. But really, what am I surviving for? What kind of life is this? This isn’t one worth living.