16. Lachlan
Lachlan
Lainey had gone back upstairs while Beau dropped Juniper and Birdie back off at home. He’d picked up Hayes almost an hour ago, and I knew they were going to make sure we got all of Lainey’s things here.
She didn’t have anything for the baby. That prick hadn’t let her have one single moment of joy, or happiness, or excitement in her pregnancy.
He hadn’t let her feel settled. He hadn’t let her get ready for the biggest fucking change in her life.
Sure, I wasn’t a parent, but watching my sister become a mom, and Colt and Beau experience fatherhood, I had a pretty good idea about what was heading for Lainey.
The image of her trying to run to me last night flashed in my mind. Barefoot, soaking wet, scared out of her mind. She came to me.
A flash of color out my front window had me turning, relief washing over me as Beau’s truck pulled into my driveway. I made my way out onto the porch, then kept going. It was still an odd feeling to not be chained to my house any longer.
“That motherfucker,” Hayes growled as he jumped down from the passenger seat.
“What?” I asked. “What happened? Was he there? Did he say something?”
“He wasn’t there,” Beau answered, heading to drop the tailgate.
“Why are you so pissed off then?”
“Because he threw all of her things outside. In the storm. All her clothes are covered in mud. Some blankets. All of her business paperwork is ruined.” Hayes’s jaw twitched.
“Her phone’s cooked, too. We stopped at the store and added a line for her on the family plan. But we need to figure out what of this stuff she wants to try and save, and what might be better off being replaced.”
My heart sank as Beau lowered the tailgate and I looked at all of Lainey’s things stacked all over the place. They were right, so much of it was covered in caked-on dirt. It wasn’t like he’d just tossed it out into the yard, but like he’d dug up dirt to cover everything, too.
“Hey, guys.” Lainey’s voice had me turning back to the house. “Thanks for picking my things up. Was it awful?”
No one answered her. What the fuck were any of us supposed to say?
“It was, wasn’t it? Was he there? Whatever he said about me isn’t true, I swear.”
“He wasn’t there,” Beau finally said.
“So you didn’t get my things?” she asked, stepping down off the porch and walking over to us. As soon as she was close enough to see into the bed of the truck, Lainey gasped.
And my brothers and I just stood there like idiots.
“Oh.” She reached in, pulling out a newborn pajama zip-up with little tacos on it. “These are ruined.”
“No,” I said, placing my hand on her back. “We’ll wash it all. It’ll come clean.”
Lainey turned to Beau, like what I’d just said hadn’t even registered. “I’m sorry this was a waste of time.”
“It wasn’t. Like Lach said, this stuff can be washed. There was some paperwork that we couldn’t really save, and your phone isn’t working, either.”
“Okay.”
“Beau got you a line on our plan, though,” I said, glaring at my fucking idiot of a brother who seemed only hell bent on telling her bad news. “And a new phone.”
“What? Why? You didn’t have to do that…”
He shrugged. “You need a way to get a hold of Birdie if you need her, and you can always call one of us if you need anything.”
Lainey bit down on her lip, nodding as she took the phone from Beau.
“All of our numbers are programmed in there, okay?” He nodded to the phone. “It’s never a problem to contact any of us, anytime.”
“Okay. It’ll only take me a minute to bring this stuff inside. That is…” She looked over at me. “That is, if it’s okay to use your washing machine?”
“We’ve got it,” Hayes said before I could. “And Lachlan has the newest machines out of all of us; I know because I had to help him install them a few years back. He bitched and moaned about it the whole time, but it was no big deal. So your stuff will come super clean using it.”
That got a smile, but just a small one. “Okay, well, if you’re sure you don’t mind bringing it in.” She looked around at all of us. “I think maybe I could just use a minute to…”
“Yeah, Trouble. It’s no problem. Go ahead.”
I watched her head back up the steps and into the house.
“Oh,” Hayes laughed, slapping his hand on Beau’s shoulder, “you told me, and I still didn’t believe you.”
“You told him what?” I glared at Beau.
“That you were fucked,” Beau deadpanned.
“I literally can’t believe I’m the last brother to fall in love,” Hayes groaned. “I hate it here.”
“I don’t love Lainey. Christ. I’m just trying to help her! In case you didn’t notice, she’s about to have a baby and she doesn’t have anything—”
“Do you realize she’s about to have a baby?” Beau asked.
“Of course!”
“And you’re fine with that. With Lainey, and her baby, just living with you forever,” he pushed.
“They need somewhere safe to live. And I can give that to them.”
“Oh God. Do you hear that?” Hayes asked.
“What?” I looked behind me and over into the fields. I didn’t hear anything.
“Wedding bells,” Beau mocked.
“Fuck off. Both of you.”
Hayes chuckled, moving away from the tailgate. “Oh, okay, baby brother. Good luck getting your girl’s stuff into the house without us…”
“You guys are assholes,” I groaned. “You know that, right? Colt wouldn’t be torturing me like this if he were here.”
Beau nodded. “Speaking of Colt…”
The door to the guest room wasn’t closed all the way, and I could see just a sliver of her back as I knocked. I probably should have waited for an answer, but I hated how defeated she looked walking back up to the house. So, I pushed the door all the way open and walked in before she responded.
“I didn’t say you could c-come in.”
“I know. But I wasn’t about to let you sit up here being upset without seeing if I could help. Beau and Hayes brought your stuff inside. I started running the wash, but I think we should wash it twice to get everything nice and clean.”
“Great.” She sniffed, her shoulders rising and falling as her body shuddered through her tears.
“Don’t think I’m crying because I’m sad about my things.
Or crying because I’m worried about how the hell I’m going to cover replacing them.
Or crying because I don’t know how I’m ever going to get ready for the space invader’s arrival.
It’s just because I’m pregnant and I can’t control it. ”
“Okay.” I walked around the bed, sitting down next to her so our shoulders and hips touched.
It was probably too much. I was probably too close.
But something in me was screaming to hug her.
To wrap my arms around her and pull her into my chest. To give her someplace safe to let it out.
All the shit that made her feel like she couldn’t scream, or shout, or have any emotion about this shitty situation she is in.
I pushed myself back, so my entire body was now on her bed. It took some momentum, but I finally got settled against the headboard. “Come here.”
For a second, I thought she would ignore my request. Ignore the way I was holding my arms out to her. But even as her head shook back and forth, she was moving toward me. The bed dipped as she curled into my side, her belly pressing against my hip as her head landed softly on my chest.
Her tears soaked through my shirt instantly. “Okay. Alright. It’s okay.”
“I didn’t want this baby, Lach. I never wanted to be a m-mom,” she cried.
“Greg c-came home, and I warned him we couldn’t.
I was on antibiotics and I knew they could mess with my birth control.
But he was d-drunk. It’s so s-stupid. I just wanted him to love me.
I didn’t stop him. And now my life is never going to be the same.
I’m responsible for this human I never meant to have.
I’m not going to be a good mom. I’m not. ”
“Trouble—”
“It’s my fault this baby has nothing good to come into the world for. That I have nothing to my name. I’ve m-messed everything u-up and I don’t k-know how to fix i-it.”
Her breathing was so tight it hurt my chest.
“We’re going to wash your clothes and those cute pajamas you picked out for the baby—my favorite were the taco ones, but I see why you went with UFOs, too.
We can fix that. But what I can’t fix is if you make yourself so upset with worry that you go into labor, okay?
That’s the only thing we’re working against. Everything else will be just fine, as long as you and the baby are okay. ”
“O-okay,” she whispered.
“Good girl. Just breathe. You’re not alone. You don’t have to face any of this on your own.”
She looked up at me, her eyes wet and lashes clumped together. “Is that what your family said, after your accident?”
“Yeah. They told me that.”
“Did you listen to them?” she asked.
“You know I didn’t.”
Lainey smiled. “I fear we’re very much alike in that way.”
“You’re not planning on listening to me?”
“No, I am. But only because I’m so tired, I don’t think I have any fight left in me.”
“You do. And as you heal, more of it will come back. I’ll make sure it does.”
Her hand came up, rubbing against the end of her nose. “Why?”
I shrugged. It was too complicated of an answer to give. Too raw. It would expose too much. So I said the only thing I could think of.
“You helped me get off the porch. I’ll help you get back on your feet.”