28. Lainey
Lainey
“Ohh…” The pain was rolling through me in waves, and it’d be so easy to get pulled under. To lose sense of the storm outside—or of the way I was about to give birth in a bathroom with no one but the man who has become my life line in the last few short weeks.
“Hey. Whatever you’re thinking about right now, clear it from your mind. You’re doing great. We’re going to be just fine.”
“I’m a bad person, Lach. I’m going to be such a bad mom.” I bit down on the inside of my cheek to stop the tears from spilling over my lashes. I was hunched over the edge of the tub, my fingers gripping the ledge as I tried to ride through the latest round of contractions.
“That’s not true.”
“It is,” I whispered. “I don’t…I didn’t want to be a mom.
Ever. Never once did I think I was cut out for this.
I wanted a life of two-steppin’ down at The Broken Spoke and building my business.
I wanted my life to be my own. I was so happy Greg was paying attention to me, and I didn’t say no hard enough.
And this…” My hand frantically rubbed over my belly as the pain started again in my back.
“God, of course I’m left to deal with this. ”
“But you feel different now. About the baby. You were so excited looking at everything today for him.”
“I’m scared. I don’t feel…” My eyes slammed shut as the pain rolled around to my belly. God, these contractions were awful.
“Work with your body. I know how scrappy you are, but don’t fight against the pain.”
“S-somebody should h-have had a crisis around…you…ow….before now.” The words fell out choppy and distorted, but my belly was tightening so fast I thought it might rip in two.
“Why’s that?”
I shook my head at his question. There was no way I was going to be able to answer him. The last bit of my breath left my body as my legs shook, my fingers aching with the force of my grip on the edge of the tub.
I was going to be sick.
This was too much. I wasn’t strong enough.
“You are strong enough.” Lachlan’s hand pressed against my hips, the pressure finally relieving the pain in my back.
“Oh, God. Please don’t stop doing that.”
His chuckle filled the small space. “You got it. Sorry I didn’t think about it before. The book said counter pressure like this in labor can help moms who feel their contractions in their backs.”
I nodded, until what he’d just said actually registered in my mind.
“What book?” I asked as the last little hooks of the contraction released.
“Huh? Is that one done? I’ll mark it in my phone.”
“Yes. What book?”
“I, uh…I just wanted to make sure I knew what…” His face turned red as I let go of the edge of the tub, shakily dropping myself down onto my knees. Squatting at nine months pregnant while in labor was not for the weak. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I groaned as I sat back on my heels. “I feel like I’ve already climbed a mountain. I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to last.”
I gasped as a cold cloth covered my forehead.
“Sorry,” he grumbled.
“No. God, no. That feels incredible. Would you mind…” I swallowed down the acid that was churning in my stomach.
“Would I mind what?”
“Could you put it on the back of my neck? It’s starting to feel kind of stale in here and I’m getting a little nauseous.”
I didn’t hear a response, but a second later, I was sighing out my gratitude as the cold cloth laid against my overheated skin.
“Tell me more about this book you’ve been reading.”
Lach shrugged, his eyes suddenly looking anywhere but my way.
“I don’t know what more there is to tell.
The night you came here, I couldn’t sleep.
Because I had no idea how to help you. And my brain just kept imagining every terrible scenario possible for what could happen.
I downloaded a couple of books on my phone. They were just in case.”
The night I’d found him in the hallway, just outside my door. That’s what he was doing there, while he waited to hear if I needed help. “But you read them?”
“Yeah. Never thought about how fascinating a process pregnancy and birth could be, but I was up that whole night reading. Did you know you can grip a comb in your hand when you have a contraction, and the tines biting into your palm distract your brain from the pain of the contraction?”
“Find me a comb. Please,” I sighed.
Lachlan nodded, reaching over to the drawer under the sink. “When Beau and Birdie stopped over, I was gonna pull her aside and ask for more information. But you came downstairs and then…”
“I was overwhelmed.”
“A little.” He chuckled, handing me the comb. “But I don’t think I would have been able to stay calm if I were in your shoes. And instead of just needing a place to stay, I’d probably be asking for an alibi, too—because Greg would be a dead man, and I’d need my family’s help hiding his body.”
“I’m just really glad he’s not here, and you are instead,” I let myself admit.
“I am, too.” Lachlan looked up to the ceiling. Loud clanging started off sporadic, then suddenly shifted. More and more pings and clanks filled the bathroom. The ceiling here wasn’t even his roof…how big was the hail?
“Do you hear that?” My stomach squeezed—not from a contraction, but from pure fear—as Lachlan nodded.
“You need to get in the tub, Trouble. Lay flat as best you can.”
I shook my head. I knew what he was saying. I knew what the noise meant, but I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t believe it. There was no way the hail meant a tornado was coming for us. Right? I wasn’t about to have to get into a tub and lie flat while in labor…
And there was no way I was getting in that tub without Lachlan.