Chapter Nine
New Hampshire
He pushed that out of his mind, along with the disaster of the previous day, and focused on his current mystery.
After the bar last night, he and Paige headed back to his place.
They had talked for a bit, mostly about Boston and how she had grown up there.
She had displayed a sincere interest in his past, but he declined to mention anything about his military background.
It was simply not something he wanted to get into, particularly after the dream that had resurfaced the night prior.
He managed to deflect her questions and turn them around to ask more about her.
It was a technique he had learned in the Special Forces when soliciting information, and one that had been extremely useful in life.
Now it was part habit, and part that he didn’t feel like discussing his past with her.
Nate squeezed the clutch and lifted the toes of his left foot to shift the bike into fifth gear before releasing the clutch and revving the throttle with his right hand.
The bike roared forward. There was something about Paige that he really liked.
She was real and genuine. Pretty but smart.
Sassy but playful. They had great conversations, and the sex had been amazing.
He thought they had hit it off, but then the most peculiar thing happened.
When he woke up, she was gone. Nate had never been abandoned on a one-night stand before, and he was surprised by how much it bothered him.
He was also hungover, which was probably making him more sensitive.
Unable to figure out a reason for her mysterious disappearance, Nate focused on enjoying the ride to where he was headed.
He tried to make the trip once a month, more if he was able.
So when he woke up to find Paige gone, he had hopped on the bike and headed out.
He would be arriving without forewarning, though he knew his hosts wouldn’t care.
They never did. Nate eventually veered the bike off the state road and headed west for several minutes through increasingly rural areas before pulling into his destination.
As Nate rode down the long dirt driveway, he could see a woman exit the house onto the front porch and smiled.
Janet knew it was him. No one else would be coming unannounced on a Saturday morning, a fact he felt slightly guilty about.
He pulled up to the house and parked. As he got off the bike and removed his helmet, Janet came down the driveway toward him.
“What a surprise,” she said, arms outstretched. “Frank hadn’t told me to expect you.”
Nate hugged the older woman. “That’s my fault. I didn’t let him know.” She waved her hand in front of her face as if to blow the statement away.
“Nonsense, honey, you know you’re always welcome. Are you hungry?”
“Famished.”
“Good. I’ve got some fresh bacon on the stove, and I’ll whip you up some eggs and toast. You need to eat; it looks like you’ve lost a little weight,” she said as they walked up the porch stairs and entered the house.
“He may not be eating, but he sure is drinking like a fish,” a voice came from across the room. “I can smell you from here.”
“Nice to see you too, Frank,” Nate said. Frank got up from toying with his collection of fishing lures, crossed the room, and shook Nate’s hand.
“You doing alright, son?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” Frank wasn’t buying it. He gestured toward the kitchen with a nod.
“Why don’t you come in and have a seat. I’ll throw the kettle on for you, and we can talk while Janet rustles us up some breakfast.”
Frank and Janet had been Nate’s saving grace over the last few years.
Frank MacKenzie had been the one to sponsor the veterans’ event where Nate had met Brian.
He was a tenured professor at Harvard and had been for nearly two decades.
Frank worked in the physics department and was well-known for his work in theoretical physics, having written three award-winning books on the subject.
But he was also a navy veteran who had spent twenty years as a fighter pilot.
As such, he frequently tried to host events at the university for veterans to meet and socialize with one another.
Frank had taken a shine to Nate immediately.
Not only was the former Green Beret somewhat of an extraordinary veteran with his background and experiences, but he was a determined individual who pursued his academics in as fanatical a manner as he had his military achievements.
Frank also recognized something he had seen before: someone who had lost something.
And so he invited Nate out to his house.
Frank and Janet owned fifty-five acres of land that, among other things, was a great place to hunt and shoot.
Frank had built a hundred-meter range where a gun enthusiast could fire weapons to his heart’s content, and he extended an open invitation to Nate to come and shoot whenever he felt like it, with Frank supplying the weapons and ammo.
Eventually, Nate took him up on the offer.
They had gotten along well, shooting guns and drinking beer.
It felt good. Even though Frank had retired as a captain in the navy, the two shared a strong connection and Frank had become somewhat of a mentor to him.
He understood the military, but was also deeply immersed in the Harvard academic world.
Soon, Nate found himself coming out to the house every few weeks.
Usually he and Frank would shoot, and Nate would help with any heavy lifting that needed to be done around the property.
Janet would cook them a gourmet dinner and the three of them would drink a few bottles of wine and talk late into the evening.
It brought a sense of support to Nate that he was denied by the loss of his mother and the estranged relationship with his father.
It was clear that Frank and Janet were concerned.
Frank kept a close eye on Nate and his studies through his friends in the anthropology department and knew that the thesis pitch had not gone well.
And while archaeology was far from his field, he understood the niceties of the academic world perfectly.
Nate talked as they ate. He told them about the research he had done and about the train wreck of his proposal.
He’d also told them about Paige. Frank and Janet listened quietly, holding all questions until the end.
Finally, when they were all finished with their meals, Janet was the first to speak.
“So, I want to hear more about Paige,” she said eagerly. Nate laughed. Once again, it felt good to laugh.
“Janet,” Frank said, shaking his head at her.
“What? She sounds like a lovely girl. I think he needs to go hunt her down and tell her he likes her.” Nate slowly spun the spoon in his English Breakfast tea, stirring nothing in particular.
“She left, Janet,” Nate said. “I’m not so sure that she’s interested in anything more.”
“Nonsense,” Janet said, hitting him on the shoulder with a dish towel as she stood up. “Just look at you. You’re such a handsome guy. Of course she’ll be back.” Nate smiled as she began collecting the plates.
“Maybe.”
Frank leaned forward. “So, what do you plan on doing about your dissertation?”
“I don’t really know,” Nate said honestly. “I’ve been thinking it through, but I’m not sure at this point. I can start something else from scratch, or I can push it and risk failing.”
“You’re finished with your coursework, and nearly with your exams,” Frank said. “You’re just about out of time to get everything in order to start your research.”
“Believe me, Frank,” Nate said, “I’m well aware.”
Frank nodded slowly as Janet topped off his coffee and then her own, rejoining them. “Let me ask you a serious question. Have you ever failed at anything yet?”
The question took Nate by surprise. He’d failed at lots of things in his life, though not anything serious. Yemen maybe. As if reading his thoughts, Frank interceded.
“I don’t mean Yemen. We’ve been through that already. You’re the reason more men are alive than dead today. I mean long-term goals that you’ve set out to accomplish. Have you failed yet?”
Nate thought about it for several seconds before slowly shaking his head. “I suppose not.”
“Well, I’ll tell you how I see it. You seem to have a pretty solid track record of setting goals and meeting them. Whether it’s the Special Forces, Dive School, earning your master’s…” Frank let it hang in the air before continuing. “What makes you think you’ll fail now?”
It was a fair question. Nate had always believed in himself.
And he had never, before twenty-four hours ago, doubted that he was right about Ubar.
It was his inexperience in the academic world that led him to self-doubt.
Thinking about it now, it was possible there was a connection between the disappointment he felt from his father the academic and his own self-doubt.
Psychology was not his specialty, nor did he wish it to be. He simply noted the fact and moved on.
“It seems to me you’ve already made up your mind,” Janet chimed in.
Nate turned to her, puzzled. “How do you figure?”
“Well,” she said, “I’m just a simple retired attorney, so I don’t understand this world of academics like the two of you do, but your professors told you the thesis was dead in the water, did they not?”
“They did,” Nate agreed.
“And yet here you are, still struggling with the decision. Anybody who was not as headstrong as you would have quit right there. But here you are, still mulling it over. I can see it in your eyes. You’re not going to let this go.
And I don’t think you should. Not if it’s that important to you.
Just like you shouldn’t let a nice girl get away. You need a nice girl in your life.”
Nate looked up at Janet, who was grinning. She couldn’t help but slip in one more piece of advice about his love life. But she also may have been right about his thesis. He wasn’t so sure he could just let it go.
“You know the point of being an academic, right?” Frank asked him. Before he could answer Frank held up a finger. “I’ll tell you. To get published and have theories widely accepted and eventually proven correct. You can’t do that if you go off the deep end.”
Nate nodded but said nothing.
“That being said,” he continued, “if someone was going to go against the grain, I’d imagine it would be a snake eater like you.
You have the luxury of taking chances. Your professors don’t.
They’re part of the system already. And this might be your last chance to take a risk before you get pulled in too. ”
Frank and Janet were right. He couldn’t just let this go.
It wasn’t who he was. If he walked away now, he’d never forgive himself.
He didn’t want to get sucked into the academic world only to never question anything outside of mainstream ideology ever again.
For a moment he had forgotten who he was and what he stood for. It wouldn’t happen again.
“So what are you thinking, hon?” Janet asked, putting her hand over his. He returned the gesture, placing his other hand on top of hers, and smiled.
“I think I have some travel arrangements to make.”