Chapter 7
Lia
Iclosed the door behind me and leaned against it, completely thrown. That searing kiss blew my mind. It was far better than I imagined. His clean masculine scent invaded my senses and made me weak. It clouded my mind, making it hard to think straight. But the rehearsed speech about keeping things professional downplayed the passion and intensity we had shared to the point of depression.
After the passionate outburst, I didn’t know what to think. I got caught up in the heat. But as fast as it sparked, it was snuffed.
The apartment was quiet for eight. Shell was probably out for the night at some club or other with some group of beautiful people or other. She had the ineffable magnetism gorgeous people possessed. I was unsurprised by my solitude, but disappointed nonetheless. I needed a friend.
I put the kettle on for tea and sat down at the kitchen counter. My head spun with a mix of capacious desire and foggy confusion. If this is what the man did to me, I had a long six professional weeks ahead.
Tonight had been a glimpse at the project ahead, but it was also a taste of what it might be like to experience Raphael in the flesh. His mouth was hot and possessing, tender yet demanding. Even though it was only a kiss, I felt the white-hot burn from my mouth to places far less innocent. Nothing I had with anyone else came close to being so all-encompassing. My previous encounters were lukewarm at their fieriest.
Things in college were okay. Fine, even. My time with Russel was fine, but he was nothing like Raphael Teresse, mentally or otherwise. He didn’t have heat like the warmth I felt as Raph’s mouth slanted over mine or as he gripped me with intensity.
Oh, well. At least mind-blowing sex won’t be complicating, or worse,undoing my promotion.Fantastic.
The sound of a key twisting in the lock interrupted my pessimistic spiraling.
Thank God.
“You don’t even wanna know about the guy I just left in the bathroom,” Shell began with a smile, throwing her clutch on the counter. “Is there enough water in there for two?” She motioned to the kettle.
“Yeah, sure is. And same here, sort of,” I said as I grabbed a second mug from the shelf.
“Oh, forget my thing. He was a sleaze. I paid for dinner. What do you want from a weeknight? You go.”
Shell laced her fingers under her chin and took a seat beside me at the counter.
“Okay, so Raphael offered me the job, and I accepted. That’s the first thing,” I began.
“Awesome! Congratulations, honey! I’m so excited for you! Wait. Should I wait to react?” Shell cringed when she noticed my somber face.
“Please hold your applause until the end, thank you,” I giggled, but went on. “So I accepted the job offer, but it’s more complicated than I thought. The job’s pretty standard, if a bit more involved than a typical Design Everything client, but here’s the thing. The whole night, he was sort of flirting with me. When I got there, he kissed my hand. Then, through dinner, the way he was looking at me…”
“Wait, so is this the part where I tell you not to sleep with your boss? I don’t think I’m qualified for that kind of advice. Cannot help you. He’s so dreamy.”
I sighed. “He was looking at me over dinner, then I told him he could have me if he wanted me.”
I held up a hand to stop Shell from shrieking.
“It applied to the conversation. Have me for work. But so we finished eating, and I agreed to be available for the next six weeks, as per his contractual requirements. Then he drove me home instead of his driver, and he was talking about how he got where he was, all successful and direct and sexy… But so he said you have to be clear about your desires, right?”
Shell nodded along, rapt.
“So I asked him what are your desires right now in this moment?”
I paused for effect and because I was about to say it out loud. Saying it made it real, proved it happened, and it wasn’t just another dream.
“Oh my God, Lia! What happened?” Shell pulled her own hair, eyes wide.
“He kissed me. Like hard. Like everything anyone ever wants a kiss to be, plus more somehow. I don’t know. It was only a kiss, but I’m still shaking.” I looked down at my hands as I got up to tend to the teapot’s shrill whistle. “Then when we broke apart from the kiss that could’ve killed me on the spot, he said he wants to keep our relationship completely professional.”
I handed Shell her mug of hot herbal tea, the sweet calming scent permeating the room as the bag steeped.
Shell cringed. Finally, she was with me. “So he flirts with you all night, you flirt back, he kisses you silly, then he wants to be friends. Ugh. Man logic.” She shook her head, blowing over her piping hot mug.
“What do you mean, man logic?”
I was awaiting an elaborate explanation of how no means yes. And there was a huge part of me that wanted to believe that would be the case with Mr. Teresse.
“Well, he’s a big deal, owns all these successful nightclubs, and deals with sexy people day in and day out. He couldn’t maintain that if he was sleeping around with anyone he thought was attractive. So that’s like, standard policy. That’s honorable, at least, right?” Shell winced, aware her analysis was anything but helpful.
I thought it was policy, too, which meant I was doomed to obey his business-only plea. If I came on to him when he requested no funny business, that would disqualify me for the position. There was no part of me that wanted to deal with that awful prospect. Well, almost no part. But my uninhibited new mindset wondered if it would be worse to never know what being with Raphael was like. That thought scared me more than I was ready to admit.
I waited my entire life to know him. He was the subject of my every girlhood fantasy, and had worked his way up to the adult ones, too. Especially the very adult ones.
Raph was the measuring stick by which I judged all other men. And to give up before I took a chance was devastating. I might as well denounce sex and become a nun.
“I’m meeting him tomorrow for lunch and a tour of the project site. I don’t know if I can let this boldness go, Shell. I might never get another chance.”
Shell twisted her lips in thought.
“Keep doing what you’re doing, girl. It’s obviously working, so don’t give up. He made the first move, right? It’ll happen again. Men aren’t that strong. You always turn them down flat when they make moves or flirt with you. Flirt back. You’ll be unstoppable.”
“Oh, come on. What planet are you on? Guys do not come on to me.”
Sure, there were plenty of guys around when Shell dragged me out, but no one looked at me when Shell was around. I didn’t have the things they looked for.
I didn’t have the looks or the energy. Shell did. Shell was the blonde bombshell with voluptuous breasts and rounded hips who could wear heels like sneakers. She had that special flair that drew everyone to her like flies to honey. I was a quiet homebody. A nobody. I didn’t stack up.
“Lia, there are plenty of guys interested. You never give them a chance to see what you offer because you’re never offering. So that’s what you do. Subtly, seductively, let him know you’re into him. Everything will fall into place. I guarantee it. There’s no way he’s going to resist you with your giant alien eyeballs and super long wavy perfect hair. If the little black dress had that much of an impact, wait til he sees you looking sexy in everyday stuff. Trust me.”
“I don’t know… I’m not going to wear a dress and heels and everything to walk around the Experience building… that doesn’t make any sense.”
“Right, that’s ridiculous. You’re gonna wear a pair of dark skinny jeans that make your ass look fantastic, and a top that will hint at a terrific rack. Come on!” Shell leapt up from the counter, dragging me by the arm into her room to raid her closet.
In Shell’s world, it seemed like all the answers to life’s toughest questions were in the closet. I had to remember that.