Chapter 23
Raph
With every phone call Lia made to various family members, more emotion drained from her face. By the time we pulled into her building”s lot, she looked like she was cast from steel. It set me on edge.
”Thanks for driving me home, Raph. Sorry I can”t make it to whatever you had planned,” she said.
She gathered her things from the car and opened the door. Before I could stop myself, my arm shot out, grabbing her arm. Her eyes darted to me, and she paused.
”Let me take you there, to your aunt”s house. It”s the least I can do. And we”ll push our meeting until later in the week, so please don”t worry about that. You will get through this.”
She nodded, but she had shrunk so far inside herself she couldn”t muster up a smile. Seeing her like that broke something inside me. I wanted to protect her from this pain however I could, whatever it took.
”I”ll just be a couple of minutes. Do you want to come up?”
I nodded, and we got out. The day ahead was a long one, and I needed to stretch my legs.
She left me in the kitchen when we walked into her apartment. While she did whatever she needed to, I took a look around the apartment, committing it to memory. There were hints of Lia everywhere. This short visit felt more intimate. I was seeing Lia”s real life in all its ugliness. She didn”t want anyone to see it, and she was letting me.
I didn”t care what we ended up doing today, I wanted to be with her. It was our day together. If dealing with a family crisis was on the menu, then that was the plan. There was nowhere else I would rather be.
Lia returned clutching a small packed bag and wearing old, warm-looking clothes. It didn”t matter how she dressed, her beauty still shone through.
”Sorry I have nothing for you to change into. You can”t be comfortable doing all this driving with what you have.”
I waved her off, chuckling. ”I”m used to it, I assure you. Are you all ready to hit the road?”
We drove for several hours listening to the radio, my hand resting on her knee while she stared out the window. But as the songs blended together, I got restless.
”What”s the plan when we arrive?”
”I”ll try to get my mom to tell me what happened, and what”ll happen next. We”ll go from there. I don”t think my aunt has space for her. My cousins still live at home, so I”m surprised that”s where she was. I might need to get her back to my apartment. I should probably call Shell and talk to her about that.”
The more she spoke, the more uneasy she became. I didn”t have family, but even with her mother, it seemed Lia”s life wasn”t easier.
I”ll help you through this.
”She can stay in a hotel, on me. It”s no trouble.”
Lia shook her head and looked over at me. ”Raph, you don”t have to. It”s too much. This has nothing to do with you.”
”It”s nothing. It”ll make things easier for all of you, right?”
”Let”s cross that bridge when we come to it. I still don”t know the situation.”
”What do you know?”
”My mom”s health isn”t very good, and her doctor was worried enough that he asked me about her. He”s known about how Mom lives. As of now, I think he is probably at the root of all this.”
”This being…”
”Her being forced to leave the house. Which, for the record, is absolutely for the best.”
When we arrived at Lia”s aunt”s house after a few more hours, I didn”t know whether to keep driving, or step into the chaos unraveling on the front lawn. There was an argument in progress with neighbors watching it unfold from their porches. Two older women screamed at each other, complete with vigorous arm gestures and accusatory pointing.
I cut the engine in front of the house and everyone outside turned and stared as we approached.
”Hello Amelia,” one of the women addressed Lia with unexpected calm.
She waved and walked over to the two angry women, her posture tight and straight. She was so tense, and I hurt for her.
At Lia”s request, I stayed by the car. I would intervene if it became necessary, though. I didn”t want to encroach until she knew what we were dealing with.
”Mom. Tell me what”s happening. Please.”
”Why should I tell you anything? You”re the reason I”m in this fucking mess!” The less calm woman crossed her arms over herself, her face screwed up in fury.
Her mom didn”t say anything else, and Lia turned to the calmer woman.
”Hi, Aunt Sue. Do you know anything? I need to know what”s going on.”
”Sarah”s doctor stopped by her house this morning, and she didn”t come to the door. He called someone since he had to assume she was in distress.”
”The curtain wasn”t shut right in the kitchen, Amelia. You did that on purpose, didn”t you?”
”No, mom. I didn”t.”
Lia spoke calmly, like she”d had a lot of practice dealing with her mother”s instability. Like it wasn”t the first time they”d had a conversation like this. The way she was handled herself in this high-stress situation was admirable. She was calm and poised even as she was verbally assaulted and accused by the woman who should care for her more than anyone.
”Well, what the hell am I supposed to do now? I can”t stay here, and I can”t be in my own home!” Her mother was shouting again, shrill and full of fury.
”We”re going to figure something out, Mom.”
Lia looked over her shoulder, looking for me. I walked up the driveway and positioned myself next to Lia, slipping my around around her waist. I hoped that touch gave her some comfort.
”Hello. My name is Raphael Teresse. Ms. Hall?”
Lia”s mother blinked at me, trying to process where I came from.
”Who the fuck are you?” she accused with less ferocity than she had for her daughter.
”I”m Raphael Teresse. Raph. Your daughter is designing for me.”
More blinking.
”Anyway, about your accommodations. I”d be happy to get you set up in a hotel for the time being until your ordeal is sorted through.”
”She”d need to be near home. Some specialists want to get in touch and evaluate the situation,” Aunt Sue said.
Lia”s mother crossed her arms again and turned away from us, to the other woman. ”I can”t speak for myself now?”
Aunt Sue put her hands up in surrender, and Lia”s mother turned back toward me, more of her fire settled.
”A hotel?”
I nodded and rubbed small circles on Lia”s back. She pushed back into the touch, like she was craving something to ground her. I was more than happy to provide what little I could. ”Wherever you need.”
After a short discussion, the hotel was decided on, and we left Aunt Sue”s with Lia”s mother, Sarah, in tow.
In the parking lot on the way into the hotel to check in, Lia”s mother grabbed her by the arm to stop her after a tense, silent car ride. I turned back to watch, weary of more hostility.
”They wouldn”t even let me get anything.”
”It isn”t safe to be in there, Mom. You know that”s true.”
”I”ve been in there for years, nothing”s happened.”
Lia slipped her slender arm over her mother”s shaking shoulder, and I took a small step back to give them space. ”You”re sick. This is for the best. You”re going to get taken care of. Try not to worry.” Lia rubbed her mom”s arm in long, soothing strokes.
Her mother”s eyes welled up with tears.
”Could you just do me a favor?”
”Sure, Mom. What do you need?”
”In case I never get back in, in case they make me get rid of everything, could you just go and get me something from Henry”s room? Just one thing. Please. Just in case.”
Lia cast her eyes down, then met her mom”s eyes. ”Sure, mom. I”ll go right after we get you set up here, okay?” Lia turned to me for confirmation. I nodded and met Sarah”s watery gaze, too.
”We”re going to take care of it, don”t worry.”
Her mom resigned, and the three of us headed into the hotel. I set Lia”s mom up for a two-week stay at the hotel and told them anything she needed to eat or drink she could have, and anything she needed to be comfortable she could get. With my black card, they were more than agreeable and accommodating.
Sarah was quiet, which was the most gratitude I”d noticed from her since we met.
The hotel staff took her up to her room, 606, and Lia and I headed back out. The sky was orange, pink, and dusky purple. There wasn”t much light left. Soon, the sun would set on our day together.
Lia worried her lip the whole ride over to her childhood home, not saying a word while she clasped her hands in her lap. I couldn”t blame her. The day had been intense.
I didn”t know what to expect, but the house looked pretty normal from the outside. Just a regular house in a sleepy little neighborhood.
”I”m sorry. I just have to go in and get something.”
”Don”t apologize, Lia. I get it.”
”I understand if you want to stay put…”
”Do you want me to stay put?”
After a pause, Lia shook her head and wrapped her arms around me. After a deep breath, she pulled back and met my eyes.
”I”m glad you”re with me today. This day was a lot.”
”I wouldn”t dream of being anywhere else.”
And I meant it. There was nowhere else I”d rather be than with her. I had no idea what I was about to walk into, but whatever it was, I would handle it for Lia.
She took my hand and led me to the front door. When she unlocked it, it opened about a foot before hitting something inside. The smell that came out the gap in the doorway was atrocious. I recoiled, and better understood what lay on the other side.
”It”s okay. Let”s go.”
Lia smirked. ”All right. Let”s go.”
She wiggled through the gap in the door and closed it behind her. I heard muffled rustling, then nothing. Did she decide she didn”t want me with her after all?
The door opened a little wider.
”Can you squeeze through there?”
It was tight, but I got in with her. The only light in the space came from her cell phone flashlight. I got mine out of my pocket and turned on another light. I looked around at dusty mountains of debris. It looked like an indoor landfill.
And the smell. It was overwhelming. I lifted my arm to cover my nose. One corner of Lia”s mouth hitched up.
”Welcome to my childhood home.”
”Please tell me this isn”t how you lived when you were growing up,” I asked.
”It wasn”t this bad back then,” Lia said noncommittally as she moved toward the old, wooden staircase. ”This way,” she added over her shoulder.
I followed behind her, keeping my hand over my mouth so I wouldn”t gag. Something dead was probably rotting in a corner somewhere. The sooner we could get what we needed and leave, the better.
At least walking was easier on the second floor, but we were still navigating in darkness. Did Lia”s mother have no electricity?
Lia opened a door at the end of the hall to reveal a beautifully clean room still kissed by outside light. A neatly made bed sat in the corner, and posters of monster trucks and women were taped on the walls.
Her brother”s room.
She looked around the room with sad eyes before turning around to face me.
”This was Henry”s room. Mom kept it the same after he died. It”s the only thing she kept the same. It was like she couldn”t let go. I don”t know if she ever did. Sometimes when she”s upset, she”ll say something about him like he”s still got an opinion.”
I walked to Henry”s desk and looked out the window into the backyard. It was well-kept and small. It didn”t give the outside world a hint at what was hidden inside these walls.
My childhood hadn”t been easy by any means, bouncing from apathetic place to careless home, but none of my stops were like this. Beyond the filth was a loveless shelter.
Lia had resided here, but she”d clearly lived inside her mind, and that was for good reason. While I was in New York building my independence, Lia was in this dirty cocoon, just waiting out the clock.
Lia scooped a penguin keyring off the dresser and slid it into her pocket. She then picked a picture frame, and a Phillies baseball cap.
”Are you all set?”
I trailed my fingers across her cheek. Her gaze was far off; she wasn”t with me.
”Yeah.”
The word wasn”t even a whisper, hardly a breath. As we turned to leave, her eyes welled up. I laid a hand on her arm. ”Hey. We can stay longer if you want to.”
She shook her head with resolution. ”No. It”s time to go. This has all been here too long.”
When we navigated our way back outside, the sky had begun its descent from the fiery colors of evening into dusk, but it still felt bright and wide open. The air smelled sweet and fresh, fresher than I ever gave air credit for. I swallowed thickly, sorrow for Lia blanketing me.
She put her items on the front seat, then shut the car door and leaned against it. She looked at the ground and moved her toe idly over a crack in the sidewalk.
”Is there time to walk?” she asked.
”If that”s what you want, sure.”
She laced her fingers through mine and walked me down the street, around a bend, and down a steep hill.
”I never ran from that home, never once tried. I stayed and did what she expected, which thankfully wasn”t much. I didn”t put effort into relationships with people, either. It wasn”t like I could have friends over or have sleepovers. College was a shock to the system, I could keep my space however I wanted and make social choices. It had been years since I had the chance.”
”Is that why you majored in design?”
”It is, yes. My upbringing taught me what power there was in how a space could make you feel. I was drawn to it, or I was led there. Either way.”
When we reached the bottom of the hill, I realized where she was leading me.
”Hey, is this…” I trailed off.
Lia smiled. ”It is. We don”t have much daylight, but since we were in town, I thought we should come see it.”
The park hadn”t changed in over a decade. The same pavilions, swings, field, everything. We walked across the grass, tracking the path we had both taken so long ago. Lia stopped next to the creek and peered across.
”It”s probably still there, my nest.”
I turned Lia, so she faced me, and felt the weight of the moment settling around us as I gazed into the depths of her blue-green eyes.
This stop completed the circle, and again I was with her. Nothing was the same, not even close. But we made it.
Destiny brought us together and brought us back.
I tried to be gentle and supportive through the day, giving Lia all the space she needed to process everything that happened. I would want the same if the roles were reversed. But in the glow of the fading day, in this place that was such a sacred memory, I couldn”t keep myself from her. No logic or calculation or patience could hold me back. I cupped her face in my hands and brought her lips to mine.