Chapter 27
Lia
Idusted off my hands and grabbed my bag when I noticed Shell stepping around paint cans by the doorway. She and I were grabbing lunch before the final check-in with the craftsman working on the custom furniture order.
The painting got finished today. Flooring was in, appliances and lighting installed. Experience Shoreview was coming together. Time was running out for us to get the place furnished. We couldn”t make the deadline if there were problems at the artisan builder”s. Pressure was on.
”Hey, girlfriend. Why so glum? I know the weather”s been lousy, but the fun stuff is coming up!”
”That”s my problem.”
I looked out the window at the overcast sky.
”What is?”
”It”s almost over.” My voice cracked.
”Oh…” Shell rubbed my back, and I swallowed hard.
Raph didn”t stop in at all the last few weeks. He disappeared into his work just like he said he would. I thought about him every day on site, the remnants of my heart willing him to appear, but nothing.
When my mom called to tell me he checked in with her, I had hope again, but still nothing. That was about money, not about me.
I was living without him. Each day blurred into the one before. I felt naked for the first time in my life. Exposed to the bone-chilling air of reality. Tears pricked my eyes.
Two more weeks. I can get through.
Shell and I walked out the back exit and down the avenue to our favorite Italian cafe for a light lunch and caffeine boost. We walked in silence, and guilt gnawed at me. My sadness affected everyone around me, which wasn”t fair. I was the world”s most colossal bummer.
Once inside the cafe, Shell ordered soup and a sandwich we could split, and I found a table. She was so great with me, rolling with the tides. She deserved more than silence from me. I had to open up. When she returned to our table, I let go.
”He was my Mystery Guy. He remembered me, and I was important. I affected him, too. It wasn”t just me.”
I took a few spoonfuls of soup, trying to enjoy the warmth, but it was useless. Tears pooled in my eyes and slipped free.
”He was literally the man of my dreams.” I said, voice cracking. ”He was the man of my dreams.”
I covered my face with my hands and cried. Pain ripped through me. He walked out of my life and didn”t care how I was doing. Maybe he was right; we never should have gotten involved. Dreaming was better than a living nightmare, wasn”t it?
But if I could go back and change it, I wouldn”t dare. I wouldn”t change a single thing. Having loved and lost was better than never knowing. Even if the knowledge sliced me to ribbons.
Shell scooted her chair close and pulled me into a hug.
”Heartbreak is the worst.”
I managed an ”uh-huh” between sobs and gulping down air. I had been sad when it didn”t work out with my college boyfriend, but that hurt seemed like nothing now. This was agony. Torment. There was a hole in me I could never fill.
I had peaks and valleys over the last couple of weeks. I”d convince myself I was doing okay, that it had been a short fling and soon it would stop hurting. But then my mom would call, screaming and crying about how her life was over, and I”d get worn down to the red again.
”At least it”s almost over. When we get the furniture, there”s just the party. You”re almost there, Lia. It”s gonna be okay.”
I picked my head up and wiped at my eyes. Red and blotchy wasn”t how I wanted to present myself to the vendors. I had to pull myself together.
Shell was right. When we were done with the furniture, there was nothing left but the completion party. It was the last requirement in my contract.
Raph would come to the event, then he”d be gone. Probably open more clubs. Probably definitely never see me ever again. My lip wobbled.
”Let”s get some coffee. I think I embarrassed myself enough for one cafe visit.”
”Sure. Be right back.”
Shell and I walked back to the site to get the rental car. The craftsman commissioned for the furniture worked out of a studio about ten miles from the site.
Old fashioned work came from old-fashioned people, and I loved that. There were no restrictions barring me from the highest quality. When I could separate the job from the man, I could still see all the good in it.
When we walked into the studio, the older gentleman stood back, letting us see the pieces. I was blown away. Not only was he done a few days early, but the work exceeded my expectations.
”These are stunning, sir. Thank you for all your hard work.”
”Pleasure”s mine, miss. Think the guy”ll like ”em?”
”Absolutely. Shell, do you want to arrange for these to get delivered as soon as possible?”
”Already on it,” she said, tapping out a message on her phone.
Ahead of schedule on a tight timeline. I couldn”t believe it. I”d get another bonus. And Raph would be pleased with the quality.
Experience Shoreview was a mirror of his vision. It was spectacular. He”d be thrilled to see it done early, especially since he hadn”t been in to see the progress since we got underway. If he had, he made it a point to miss me. Good, because I didn”t want to see him, either. It would snap the frayed threads holding me together.
But he must have been in at some point, since there were posted accommodations for staff interviews. I turned away from Shell and the craftsman, blinking rapidly. I wasn”t crying here; I was more professional than that.
I thought Raph cared for me, the way he looked at me, how he kissed me where we first met, that whole day… Where had it all gone? It wasn”t just in my head. No one could turn their emotions off like a switch.
Shell was gushing about the quality of the pieces. Hand carved tables and chairs, wall accents, and frames for grand bathroom mirrors. Every single pieces followed the plan”s directions precisely.
Before we left, Shell worked out a quick contract for repairs and replacement rights, and put in a call for the delivery. That was her specialty, and the reason she was on the Experience Shoreview team even though it wasn”t a Design Everything endeavor.
When Derrick heard I was back on the project, he offered me my job back. I declined, though. The money I was earning from Experience Shoreview would carry me a long time. I could figure out my next step in the meantime.
Shell and I climbed back in the car to get back to the site. My role in the project was over, and I feared my upcoming downtime. Busy was good; time alone with my thoughts was not.
”You know, there are probably going to be really good-looking guys at the project party. You”re coming, right?”
”I have to. It”s in my contract. Something about media coverage.”
”Oh… well, good. I”ll be your wing-woman, if you want.”
I didn”t reply, I was too numb. Shell knew I”d shoot her down, anyway.
I”d get over this, eventually. So what if Raph was literally the man of my dreams my whole life? There were others, and if he taught me anything, it was that I was desirable. Maybe I should let Shell set me up after all.
”I could wear the dress I got for the dinner with Raph.”
”Yeah! There you go. We”re done for the day. Did you want to do something tonight?”
”No, it”s okay. You don”t have to stay home for me. I”m fine. Go do whatever you have planned.”
My eyes stayed fixed in the distance even as we pulled back into the lot. Shell leaned in, gave me a quick squeeze, then got out of the car. I followed, completely wrung out.
I told the head contractor that the furniture was getting delivered and placed tomorrow, and he said he”d call if there were any issues they needed me to address. I”d check in come the afternoon, but that was it.
The time spent planning went by in the blink of an eye, but these weeks without Raph dragged on forever.
My dreams left me.
I packed my stuff and headed for home, dejected and exhausted. I needed reprieve. I”d try to have a good time at the party next weekend and go from there. If I could avoid Raph, then maybe, just maybe, I”d get through.
When the day of the celebration arrived, I had convinced myself I was okay. I could do this. I could return to my life after one more night of Experience. The safe, comfortable life I had before Raphael showed up and put everything I knew into a blender and hit pulse. Well, kind of. I didn”t have a job anymore.
I was dressed to the nines in my cutout dress, flashy Louboutin patent heels with the signature red soles and a matte red lip to match. I was on fire, but I was so cold. Looking like this, attracting men would be a cinch. I couldn”t disappear.
Except I don”t have the energy to give a damn.
I picked a loose draping half shawl to use as a jacket even though I”d be freezing. I wanted to be the most stunning person in the room to spite my broken heart. I even got my hair done at the salon; perfect cascading waves and three curls lying neatly against my forehead. The vintage style made me feel elegant and in sync with the greatest design accomplishment in my career.
After tonight, I could put everything behind me. As soon as my contract was fulfilled, no more Raphael Teresse. Ever again.
This is it, almost there.
The cab pulled up to the curb, and I stepped out into the icy wind. Shell and I linked elbows and walked through the doors into a wall of noise. The party was already in full swing.
Formal announcements were in an hour, then I was free of my obligation to Experience; to Raph.
Judging by the way the men eyed us when we walked in, keeping myself lost in the crowd might be easier than I originally thought. I could find someone to wile away the minutes with. People were already closing in on.
After a few minutes of meeting and greeting, I swore to Shell I would be okay, so we split off. Shell spotted a man across the room. I laughed, shaking my head as she headed straight to him. The girl would never change, and I was glad. She was my best friend.
I mingled. I accepted compliments left and right and even stopped to converse with a few good-looking guys. Who am I?
As the evening wore on, though, the light chats started wearing me down, and I lost the motivation to play the field. It didn”t feel okay. Not yet.
Just get through tonight, Lia.
The head contractor was on stage with polite applause and tapped the mic to start his speech. That meant Raph must already be in the building.
Good.
I”m doing great.
Almost done.
So close.
Only a few more minutes.
I got called on for recognition, where I gave a smile, a wave, and a nod to the clapping people around me. Cameras flashed, and I smiled pretty. It was an out-of-body experience. Then they were on to the next person, and I could finally breathe.
”And now we”d like to bring up the man himself! Mr. Raphael Teresse!”
I edged toward the back. I could sneak out unnoticed if I made it backstage without attracting anyone”s attention. Raph was a legend. He was young, attractive, single. What would he be without a little notoriety? His wild eyes never failed to get people talking. And I couldn”t blame those who whispered. I”d been captive in that draw for over a decade.
Try as I might, I couldn”t steal into the inky night without catching one more glimpse of the man who broke my heart into a zillion pieces. I stood in the shadows, waiting for him to take the stage.
Raph climbed the stairs, welcomed by thunderous cheering applause. He stood back, waiting for the room to calm down while he waved, nodded, and smiled. He was so gorgeous I forgot to breathe. Get out now, before it”s too late.Before he sees me.
I knew if we made eye contact, the last of the stubborn strength holding my shit together would crumble to nothing.
I opened the back door with a damning thunk just as Raph started his speech. Through a gap in the curtain, from across the stage, our gazes locked. He was a shadowy outline from the lights shining down, documenting his latest success.
He stared right into me with a flash of pain that went on a moment too long, or did my brain make that up?
The door slammed closed behind me as I ran from Experience Shoreview and Raphael Teresse as fast as my legs could take me.