Chapter 16
Sixteen
“You couldn’t have known.” We stop walking. Sam drops my hands and rubs the back of his neck. “And it probably would’ve come up sooner or later between us. Sarah and Celine are technically my half-sisters by my mum.”
The lightness from a few minutes ago has evaporated, replaced by an air of heaviness. Sam’s eyes have dulled, and he suddenly seems weary, making him appear older than he actually is.
“Sam, if you aren’t comfortable sharing, it’s okay. I understand and I respect your privacy.”
“That’s exactly why I don’t mind telling you.
” His Adam’s apple constricts. “My parents divorced when I was ten. Mum remarried and the girls came along a couple years later. Unfortunately, just like with my dad, Mum wasn’t a good match in personality or temperament for Sarah and Celine’s father.
When she divorced him, things turned messy.
They were so caught up in their own fights and blaming one another for their problems that they lost sight of their most important job—being parents. ”
I cringe. Messy must be putting it lightly. “Poor Sarah and Celine.”
Sam nods. “It was rough. At the time, they were so young. Sarah was nine and Celine was seven. Sarah would text me that she was scared because of all the shouting. She and Celine would hide in the closet thinking that they’d done something wrong.
They’d stay in there for hours, until they thought it was safe to come out. ”
My hand flies to my mouth. No child should ever have to go through a situation like that.
“I couldn’t stand for my sisters to be in such an unstable environment.
So I stepped up and offered to become their guardian.
The sad thing is that Mum and Sarah and Celine’s dad couldn’t wait for them to move in with me.
The only thing they could agree on was that neither one of them were fit parents. ”
“Oh, Sam.” My heart swells. “That must’ve been a lot to take on.”
“It was. In the first few days Sarah and Celine were with me, I didn’t know if I could do it. I’d just turned twenty and wasn’t used to being an adult. I had no experience in anything related to parenting, let alone raising two girls.”
I think about how Sam was placed in such a difficult situation.
If our positions had been reversed, I don’t think I could’ve handled something like that at twenty.
He would’ve had to learn how to do all the things that come with being an adult quickly.
What did he have to sacrifice? Did he have his own dreams that he had to give up?
“How did you manage?”
“I had my dad to ask advice from. He wasn’t too keen on me becoming their guardian at first, but eventually, he came around. Now, he’s a surrogate grandad to them. He watches the girls when they’re on half-term or other breaks and I’m not available.”
“That says a lot about the type of person you are.” My voice cracks.
“I love Sarah and Celine. They’re the only sisters I have. They needed to know that they had a protector and a person who loves them.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I couldn’t let them get lost in the chaos. I’d do it again in a heartbeat if I had to. They deserve the world.”
“Not just Sarah and Celine.” I brush my hand against his cheek. His skin is rough with stubble. He slowly raises his head. “You deserve the world too.”
I trace his lips with my thumb. Rising up onto my toes, I give him a soft, gentle kiss.
Right now isn’t the right moment to share the type of kiss that sets fire to your belly.
In this moment, Sam needs the type of love that’s offered by a family.
The type of kiss that makes him feel that he’s not alone.
“I may never have met Sarah and Celine, but I want you to know that I’m here for whatever any of you need.
Even if we’re not dating and we’ve decided a relationship isn’t for us, none of that matters.
I’m like a boomerang. No matter how hard you throw me, you can’t get rid of me. I’ll always come back to you.”
“A boomerang?” Sam engulfs me in his arms and pulls me to his chest. “You couldn’t think of a better analogy than that?”
“Not that quickly. It’s better than saying I’m like a dollop of glue or wad of chewing gum.”
He shakes with laughter. The handsome man is back. “I’m glad you’re a dancer and a Fashion Guru, because you kind of stink with coming up with metaphors.”
“They’re not that bad.”
“No, they really are.”
“What would you have said?”
Sam pauses, deep in thought. The muscles in his forehead wrinkle. “Probably something along the lines of if you wave a magic wand, I’ll always reappear. Or something to do with a faithful dog.”
I pat his chest. “Okay, you win. If I ever need to come up with a simile or metaphor, you’re in charge.”
We walk arm and arm down the street, our hands intertwined. “Where are we heading?” I ask.
“I have no idea, but as long as it’s with you, it doesn’t really matter.”
Sam and I end up splitting a frozen yogurt not far from the Knightsbridge barracks. It’s close to eight, and I know he’s likely just as physically and emotionally exhausted as me. We both need the sugary treat as a pick-me-up.
“When’s the next time your sisters are going to be around?” I pick off a gummy bear from the oranges-and-cream yogurt. Our creation is topped with sprinkles, chocolate chips, gummy bears and worms, peanut butter chunks, almonds, and a few coffee beans. I vetoed Sam’s attempt to add in Hot Tamales.
“Three, maybe four weeks? We try and get together in person at least once a month. If they don’t make their way down to London, I make an effort to visit them.”
“Can I meet them when they’re here?”
“Yes, but would you mind if we waited until after the Princess Alice Cup?” Sam’s cheeks color. “I’d like some time to prepare them. I’ve never introduced them to anyone I’ve dated before.”
I cock my head to the side. “You haven’t?”
“No. I’ve always wanted to keep the dating part of my life separate.” Sam stabs his spoon into the sugary treat. “I was always worried about how a woman might react to my sisters. That they might reject me because we’re a package deal.”
I twirl my spoon in midair. “I can’t imagine someone doing that, especially if they care enough about making a relationship work.”
“That makes you an anomaly. My last two girlfriends dropped me the moment they learned about them. It’s what put me off dating for so long.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“It doesn’t bother me anymore.” Sam shrugs it off. “It just showed me that I have to be cautious. I need to know that if I introduce someone to them, they’ll stick around for a while. My sisters have had enough of people coming and going from their lives.”
“What’s your arrangement with them now? Are they living full-time with your father?” I take a bite of our frozen treat and savor the chocolate and orange.
“The girls board at their schools during the year. Sarah near Nottingham and Celine near Bristol. They’re with my dad during the summer and breaks. It makes it easier for them to focus on school.”
I nod.
“There’s something else on your mind.” Sam sets his spoon down on a napkin. “What are you afraid to ask me?”
“I’m just curious, what motivated you to join the cavalry? It can’t have been easy to leave them with the relationship you guys seem to have with one another.”
“The night I received that fateful text from Sarah was the evening before I was all set to join up. I had my paperwork filled out and was going to turn it into my recruiter the next day. When I learned more about the situation with Mum and their stepdad, I had to make a hard pivot. The army could wait—my sisters couldn’t. ”
I take two bites of the froyo, engrossed in his story.
“I took a job at Sainsbury since the hours were flexible and worked around their school schedule.” He smiles.
“Two years ago, at Celine’s birthday party, Dad and my sisters ganged up on me.
It turns out they’d conspired with him to come up with a plan that would let me quit the grocery and pick up my life where I’d left off.
They knew I was miserable and were willing to go into boarding to make me happy.
I tried to talk them out of it, but they had a workaround for every excuse I gave them. So here I am.”
“I’m impressed. Your sisters seem so selfless and resilient.”
“They are. You can also add being wicked smart and mature for their ages to the list. It’s scary sometimes.” He drums his fingers on the table. “I won the lottery with them. They gained all the good traits I didn’t.”
“I disagree with that last bit.”
Sam’s cheeks flush. He shoves a gummy worm into his mouth and chews to keep from responding to me.
If Sam won the sister lottery, I think I lucked out, too, and won the boyfriend lottery. The more I’m learning about him, the more I am shocked that he hasn’t been snapped up by another lady. Who could resist a man like this?
“Do you have any siblings?” Sam questions.
“I have an older brother.”
“Should I be worried about him?”
“No. We aren’t that close. Cam and I have a big age gap between us, like you and your sisters. He’s eight years older than me.”
“It’s funny how as a kid, eight or ten years can make a huge difference. Yet as we get older, it’s less of a big deal.”
“It was hard growing up. He never wanted to be around his boring younger sister.”
The image of a doll pops into my mind. I can remember sitting around trying to make clothes for it while I waited for Mom and Dad to get off work. Cam would be out with his own friends or in his room, doing whatever it was he did.
“I hardly doubt you were boring,” Sam muses.
“Thanks.”
“If you were my sister, I would’ve made sure I played with you.”
My face falls. “I wish you were around. I was lonely,” I admit. “I guess that’s one of the reasons I threw myself into dance. I needed something to distract me and prove I was just as good at something as my brother.”
“What do you mean?” He frowns.