14. Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
Mu Fanqing
The carriage rocks and sways under us. I wouldn’t call it soothing though. There are too many bumps and jolts as the wheels encounter small rocks on the road that send me bouncing every time we hit them. I grimace as we hit another jolt.
I don’t know how Shu can sleep through this. His head flops slightly as the carriage steadies. It makes my neck hurt just by looking at it.
I reach out my hand, ready to pat his hand nearest me that is resting on his knee and shake him awake, but then I pause. He’s clearly exhausted if he is able to sleep through this uncomfortable ride. I wonder if my snoring has been keeping him awake.
I study his face, noting the slight smudges of darkness under his eyes.
Has he really not been able to sleep because of me?
Add to the matter that it’s been such a long and tiring day with us returning to my parents’ home this morning.
I noticed that while there he was very quiet and even more reserved than usual.
It couldn’t have been meeting my parents though; I think that went extremely well.
Is he upset to be back on the road again after only having a few days of rest?
Is that what the rest of my life will be like as his wife?
I purse my lips as I consider that, but it isn’t as if I’m wholly unprepared for such a reality.
Life wasn’t exactly easy when I was away at academy cultivating my magic.
I spent many long hours meditating on the hard floor as I worked to harness my inner core.
And even more hours hunched over scrolls working to absorb as much knowledge of magical theory as I possibly could.
Living off the road can be just another inconvenience in a long line of discomforts.
We hit another bump and Shu’s head bounces up. He lets out a little grunt and sways like he might just fall over. I wrinkle my nose as I take it in. I can’t just leave him like this.
I steady my hand on the small table set up in the center back of the carriage and push up from my seat. I wobble a bit and quickly sit down in the seat next to Shu, carefully maneuvering my shoulder under his cheek so that he can have a little more support.
I rationalize that I’m only doing it so that Shu won’t be grumpy later when he wakes up with a sore neck and back.
And after all, I am his wife. If I’m not going to save him from a stiff neck, then who else will? The coachman? Should I have Quanyu or my maid come in here? No, I’m the one who is here so it’s just easier if I do it.
Shu releases a sigh, his warm breath blowing across my collar bone.
I stiffen as he nestles his cheek further against my shoulder.
Perhaps I should have had Quanyu come in here and lend his shoulder after all.
This whole arrangement suddenly seems far from appropriate and highly against the third agreement in our marriage contract.
How am I respecting Shu’s privacy here, invading his space while he is asleep?
I certainly wouldn’t appreciate it if our roles were reversed.
This is Shu who built the pillow wall and slept full clothed in his wedding garb our first night together. I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea. I may have been the one to demand the contract, but he was the one who signed it in his own blood.
But I’m trapped now. If I get up, he will wake for sure.
I swallow hard as I glance at Shu out of the corner of my eye, trying to figure out what he will think when he wakes.
Surely, he won’t assume that I’m trying to take advantage of him.
After all, we have been married for three days with neither of us ever making such a move even though we share a bed every night.
I decide it’s just one of those things, a part of our forced proximity that mustn’t be confused for anything else.
My back is beginning to ache by the time the carriage rolls to a stop. Sweat is running down my shoulder blades from holding perfectly still.
Shu inhales deeply, shifting his position slightly. Maybe the rolling of the carriage was what lolled him to sleep and here I am interfering and getting myself into this mess. His eyebrows furrow before his eyes blink open.
I’m holding my breath as he blinks a few times before his eyes begin flicking around in confusion. He frowns and lifts his head, turning to me. His hand reaches up to rest on his cheek which is still red from the imprint of my shoulder.
“You—”
“You—” I repeat.
His frown deepens. “I—”
“I—” I say silently cursing myself. Why am I only capable of mimicking him? I’m making myself look guilty. “I think you were sleepwalking,” I blurt out.
“Huh?” Shu grunts, trying to blink the drowsiness out of his eyes.
“You just climbed over to my side of the carriage and laid your head on my shoulder. What was I supposed to do? Shove you off?” I leap to my feet and point to him but then I lower my hand and turn.
“But I don’t…” he begins. I don’t wait for him to finish or for the sleep to fully clear from his mind and he realize that he is sitting on the same side of the carriage he always had been, I’m already sweeping aside the curtain door and stepping out onto the platform outside the main compartment.
The coachman has already set out a stool for me to step down so I hurry down it, not waiting for Shu to come and help me.
My cheeks feel like they are on fire. I raise my hand, fanning at them.
Quanyu glances over his shoulder at me as he pats his horse’s nose.
He smirks as he hands the reins to the coachman and sidles over to me, his hands tucked behind his back as if he is trying to pretend to be innocent, but his expression spells mischief.
“Sister-in-law you look upset. Did something happen?”
“Of course not,” I snap, resting the back of my hand against my cheeks, willing them to cool. “It was simply very warm in that carriage.”
He arches his eyebrow as he studies me, before Shu steps out of the carriage, drawing his attention. I quickly move back a step, struggling to regain my composure. Shu is still blinking sleepily and looking extremely confused as he steps down from the carriage.
I decide that it is best to change the subject before he once again asks about the position he was in when he woke up.
“Why are we stopping now?” I squint up at the sky. The sun is still relatively high. We could get another several good hours in on our journey. Yanzhou is not very far from the imperial city. If we make haste, we can likely arrive at it today.
“This is a highly reputable post house,” Quanyu replies smoothly. “It’s best that we stop here for the night and press on for Yanzhou in the morning.”
“Oh,” I say, although I will admit I’m still a bit confused. With his duties requiring he travel so much one would think he is used enough to sleeping out under the stars that he wouldn’t rearrange the whole journey around a simple post house.
Are they going through this trouble for me?
So that I won’t experience too much discomfort on my first time traveling with them?
How very thoughtful of Shu. I duck my head to hide my smile as I nod before I step around Quanyu and toward the post house.
I settle onto a shaded stone stool while I wait for Shu to deal with the owner of the post house.
After that, I take dinner with Shu and Quanyu.
After dinner I decide to go on a walk with Qu Ting and stretch my legs.
I draw in a deep breath, stretching my shoulders as I stride along the courtyard. The path is well lit by lanterns, and chirping insects serenade me as I walk along. It’s quite peaceful. I smile as I glance up at the darkening sky.
“It’s moments like this where I am glad that I’m a cultivator,” I say to Qu Ting who is trailing silently behind me.
“What do you mean, my lady?” she asks softly.
I blink once, still unaccustomed to my new title.
My lady. It seems a bit too grand to suddenly start calling me that after spending my life as Miss Mu and then working my way up to Cultivator Mu.
And somehow, I skip from a cultivator straight to lady? It’s enough to make your head spin.
I press my lips together and shake my head, not willing to allow this to make me lose my good mood.
“To practice magic, you must open yourself up, become one with the world. Feel the energy of every living thing…” I reach out, allowing a leaf that has fallen from the nearby tree to drift softly and land gently in the palm of my hand.
“Only then can that energy flow through you and you can manipulate it in spellcasting.”
“I’m afraid that I don’t follow you.”
“Qu Ting,” I wave her closer to me. She does and I gesture for her to lower her head since she is a bit taller than me, until we are almost on the same level. I tilt my head. “Do you feel that?” I ask as the wind brushes past us, playing with our hair and loose skirts before it moves on.
Her eyebrows furrow in confusion. “The wind?”
“And do you hear that?” I ask, listening to the wind rustle through the branches of the bushes and raise the song of the insects into the air.
She purses her lips. “I only hear sounds of the night.”
“Which are caused by the wind. Just as the wind is felt by us and affects the rest of the world, so is magic. It is unseen but its impact is felt. It can be as gentle as a breeze or as powerful as a typhoon.”
Ting steps back, dropping her head. “I am truly sorry, but I cannot fathom it.”
I sigh as I reach out and pat her arm. “It’s all right. It takes cultivators years to learn this connection to nature.” I turn back on the path and start back. “I should head back now. We will likely leave early. It is best to get a good rest before we return to the road.”
I didn’t think that I was out that long, but Shu is already lying in the bed fast asleep when I get back. I tilt my head as I study him, laying peacefully in his bed. He lies so still with his arms folded across his chest and his ankles crossed. Not a thread of his robe out of place.
I tend to sprawl in my sleep. I wonder if that has affected his sleep at all. He’s seemed especially tired today.
His face is smooth and relaxed, revealing just how truly handsome he is without his glares and judging expressions.
I press my lips together and step behind the screen, quickly removing my outer robes till I’m just in my silvery inner robe for sleeping. I let all my hair down, placing my pins in a neat row so that none of them can get lost in the morning.
Then I go over to the bed. Shu fell asleep on the outer side which is a bit inconvenient for me. I bite on my lip, raising my leg as high as it can go, bracing my knee on the edge of the bed as I try to completely move over him and not straddle him at all.
I pause almost losing my balance and grimace. I’m glad that no one is here except for Shu who is sleeping peacefully because this is just an embarrassing position. I feel myself wobble and lurch the rest of the way, and wind up kneeing Shu in the leg in the process.
I push to my elbows and glance at him, but it seems that I didn’t disturb his rest at all. He must be truly exhausted. I lean back over him and blow out the candle, plunging the room into relative darkness.
As I pull away, I realize that my hair had fallen against his face.
I wince as I plop back onto the mattress.
I cast one last glance at Shu who miraculously hasn’t woken before I nod, filling myself with resolve. I will snore less tonight.