26. Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Six
Mu Fanqing
Ifeel my heart sink as I realize the real implications of this evening.
I turn, studying Shu’s face, tracing my eyes across his handsome and proud features which are currently twisted into a slightly bewildered expression.
In the midst of all the future’s uncertainties there is one thing that I know for sure—I will not be taking the fox spirit up on her bargain.
I cannot betray Shu. No matter how many of my problems doing so will solve. His life is a price I’m not willing to pay. I may be petty and selfish, but I’m not a monster and I don’t want to become one simply for comfort and ease.
At least, that’s what I tell myself because that’s easier to accept than admitting there’s another reason I can’t bring myself to betray him.
Which means that I have to think of another way to deal with the current issue of the fox spirit knowing about Chenghou. I also need to deal with the fact that she wants to kill Shu. And the simplest way to handle both those problems is to kill the fox spirit before she can cause us any more harm.
Which is easier said than done, I am sure, but fortunately I have a master spirit hunter standing in front of me. Shu is like a sword; I simply need to unsheathe him and point him in the right direction and allow him to deal with the fox spirit for me.
“Fanqing,” Shu breathes out. “I—I can explain.”
I make a clicking sound with my tongue as I step back. “Enough of that for right now. We have more pressing issues to discuss.”
His eyebrows rise in silent question.
“I think the fox spirit is someone in the governor’s mansion.”
Shu tilts his head, studying me. If he is surprised by the sudden change in subject, he hides it well.
I can see now how he could keep being a criminal a secret from the rest of the world for so long.
He is very good at keeping his emotions in check and safely tucked away where no one can see it. “Why do you think that?”
I nibble my lip as I consider how to respond.
I can’t tell him that the spirit approached me while in the manor and that’s why I believe she is from there because it would be difficult for anyone else to enter.
If I told him that he would want to know why the spirit didn’t attack me in the manor and I can’t very well tell him that it was because the spirit wanted to blackmail me.
Because he doesn’t know that I have anything worth holding over my head and threatening me with.
My hand strays to my bracelet and I grasp it. “When she attacked me, I saw her arm adorned with a bracelet. It was very fine, and clearly expensive. I think it is worth exploring whether or not it belongs to someone from the manor or to a different lady of the city.”
Shu presses his lips together and nods. “While fox spirits are cunning, they can’t wholly hide if they have taken someone’s place because they only bear the appearance of that person.
None of their personality and mannerisms remain.
Looking for a wealthy woman will narrow down the area to search.
I will have Yan Yi ask around to see if anyone has begun acting strange. ”
“And I will have Qu Ting do the same,” I say finally. “The governor’s maids may be more willing to open up to her than Yan Yi.”
Shu smiles at me, reaching out to snag my hand. I’m so surprised that I don’t argue as he starts walking down the alleyway in the direction that Quanyu went. “You and I make a good team.”
I glow, feeling oddly flattered that Shu would think so.
He swings our interlocked hands back and forth, glancing at me once then twice.
“What is it?” I inquire.
“You really aren’t mad?”
I sigh as I consider his question. “I was at first, but then I realized what is the point in being angry about it. Clearly this is something you have been doing long before we got married, and I understand your reasons for not telling me.” I hold up the finger of my free hand.
“However, mark me well, now that I am here, I will be keeping a very close eye on this business of yours and making certain that it does not cause any problems. Because if you get dragged down by it, then as your wife I will share your fate.”
“Fair enough,” Shu says after a second. “But you don’t need you worry. I am very good at what I do.”
It took me only a few days to figure out what he is up to, but then I suppose not everyone has the benefit of being his bedfellow.
“I will be the judge of that,” I mutter begrudgingly.
Shu pauses, drawing me to a halt and turns. “And you aren’t… a spy sent by the emperor?”
This actually draws a laugh out of me. I turn to look at him. “Did you think that I was?”
Shu shrugs. “The thought crossed my mind.”
I shake my head slowly. Once I dreamed of serving the emperor, but now the thought of spending my life loyally following the man who crushed my dreams is laughable. “If I was a spy, I wouldn’t very well tell you, now would I?”
“Oh,” Shu says softly as he begins walking again. He doesn’t say anything further. I suppose this is just one of those areas where we just have to trust each other.
I have to trust him not to ruin my life by being caught and he has to trust me not to turn him in.
I take the fact that Shu hasn’t ripped his hand from mine that he has chosen to trust me. The thought causes warmth to pool in my chest. It has a similar feeling to when I was able to harness my core and first felt magic flowing through it. It fills me with a sense of pride and accomplishment.
I don’t get to say anything else because just then we round the corner. Quanyu is just ahead, leaning against the alleyway wall. His eyes round as he takes me in walking hand in hand with Shu.
“I guess you’re not in trouble then, eh?” he asks, tilting his head.
Shu doesn’t bother responding to him. He just slaps his sworn brother’s shoulder as he walks past and continues on, expecting Quanyu to follow.
I skip after Shu, working to keep up with his longer legs.
I feel so much better now that I have made up my mind. I will admit, there was a part of me that considered the fox spirit’s offer, the part of me that didn’t mind being completely unredeemable if it meant that I got what I wanted.
But now I realize that Shu is part of what I want as well.
I do not want to shake up my whole world again and lose the little bit of stability I have found.
I don’t want to be at the mercy of Xiao Wen; I want Shu to stay the head of the Fourth Family.
I want Shu who tends my scrapes and listens to me prattle on about magic like it’s the single most interesting topic in the world.
Why should I have to pick between him and keeping my secret with Chenghou safe?
When it would be so much better if Shu and I work together.
He will unwittingly help me keep my secret by killing the spirit, and I will do everything in my power to keep his secret from coming out in order to protect myself.
We will be perfectly balanced, taking care of each other, just as our contract binds us. Shu will protect the dignity of the Mus, and I will serve the Xiaos.
I glance at Shu, noting how the light of the full moon perfectly highlights and accentuates his features from his long straight nose down to his slightly parted lips.
I remember how those lips curved upward when he smiled at me.
He had seemed so at ease then, unlike the person that most of the world knows as the Fourth Lord.
This unguarded version of him was for my eyes only, his little chuckles for my ears only, and that side was for only me to see.
I feel my eyes widen as I realize that I am staring at his mouth and quickly drop my gaze down to his chin.
However, I realize that it is a decidedly not safe place to look at either.
Sharp and chiseled, notable even in the moonlight, he must have the most perfect chin in the world.
I quickly turn my face forward as I feel my cheeks flame up. A thought I would rather deny, creeps to the forefront of my mind. It whispers delicate secrets that I can no longer ignore. Secrets about myself and my true wishes. Desires that I can never speak out loud.
That I want to spare Shu not just because he is capable of protecting me and is a better husband than I was expecting.
No, I cannot betray Shu, because Xiao Shu is actually my heart’s desire. Somehow, I have started to fall for my husband.
My heart sinks as I realize this.
Because that contract that makes us the perfect partners also binds us to being nothing more than that.