Chapter 6 #3
I can tell by the smile on my wife’s face she loves that response.
It was Rose’s suggestion to have an interview.
She said it would make Tiffany more comfortable with the situation.
Knowing what I know about the DOE, there was never another option for anyone else to watch my son.
Plus, she came highly recommended by Nathaniel.
“Well, do you have any questions for us?” Tiffany asks.
Rose smiles. “What are some of your fears about a nanny? I know anytime a mother leaves her child in the care of others, it can be scary. Tell me, what can I do to help relieve some of that stress?”
Damn, Rose is good at this. If I hadn’t already hired her, that question alone would make me.
Tiffany lets out a deep breath as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders.
“Wow. First, thank you for asking that. Honestly, I don’t have any fears. Not really.”
“Then what has your stomach in knots?” Ms. Rose must be reading something I can’t see.
Raking my gaze over my wife, I see the small details.
At first, all I could see when looking at her was how beautiful she was.
She is still gorgeous, but looking closer I can pick up a few signs of concern.
Her fingers are twisting around the fabric at the waist of her dress.
Her shoulders are tight and raised, and her lip is between her teeth.
Tiffany hesitates, looking down at her fingers. Rose smiles and places a hand on her knee.
“When I decided to go back to work after my oldest son was born, I felt horrible. It felt like I was abandoning my child for someone else to raise. I felt guilty, like I was less of a mom.”
Those brown eyes I love so much look back up into Ms. Rose’s face. “How did you get over that feeling?”
Wisely, I keep my mouth shut. There is a side of me that wants to jump in and solve this issue with Tiffany by telling her not to go back to work. She didn’t need that fucking job. But what Salv said early comes back to mind.
The woman just started doing the job she loves right before Noah came. It’s not hard to believe she wants to go back to work.
Going back to work is something Tiffany needs. And apparently, Rose knows more about this than I do.
“My husband was the one who told me that there was no need to feel guilty,” Rose says, glancing a pointed look at me before looking back to my wife.
“He understood that after becoming a mother, we often lose a piece of ourselves. We get so caught up in being a mother and a wife that years will go by. One day, your child will go off to college, and you’ll look in the mirror and not even know who you are.
So much of who you were was being a mother.
“My husband knew having something outside of motherhood would be crucial for me mentally. Not all women feel this way. Some women thrive on being mothers full time. That’s a beautiful thing, but it’s also okay to want something else. To want a life outside of being a mama.”
Tiffany sniffles. “I love my baby, and I enjoy being a mom, but I also love designing, and I’m finally able to do it. For so long at my job, I was just a coffee-grabbing secretary, but now I’m actually being requested. I don’t want to let that go.”
Salv was right. I decide to stop looking at this stunt to go back to work as a ploy to get under my skin and see it for what it really is.
My baby needed to breathe. Tiffany has been an outstanding mother.
Late-night feedings, explosive diarrhea, breast milk vomit, none of it has ever slowed her down.
But I can see her wanting something outside of it all.
She wasn’t even planning on being a mother when she got pregnant with Noah. I can admit I took part in that. So, if she wants to go back to work, I will make sure that transition is as easy and successful as possible.
“I think Rose is right.” I turn in my seat to face my wife. “You wanting something for yourself doesn’t make you a bad mother. It makes you real. And as talented as you are, you should share it with the world.”
Fuck, her smile really does something to me.
“And don’t worry,” Ms. Rose goes on to say. “I will make sure that if I get the job, you won’t miss a second of little Noah’s milestones. I will send you so many videos and updates you’ll grow tired of me.”
Tiffany chuckles as she wipes her eyes. “I would never.”
We both stand to see Ms. Rose out. The moment we close the office door behind her, Tiffany turns to me.
“Her. I want her.”
I smile. “Alright, I’ll reach out to the agency and have them let her know she got the job.”
Tiffany squeals, jumping up and down. She stops suddenly, looking at me with her head cocked to the side.
“Did you mean what you said just then? Or were you just saying what you thought I wanted to hear?”
I can’t be mad at her for asking that question. She has the right to question my motives. It doesn’t mean I have to like it. I take a step closer to her, taking her hand in mine. Anything to feel her skin against mine.
“I understand why you’re asking me that.
I’ll cut you some slack this time. But so you won’t question it again, just know everything I say to you is true.
If it comes out of my mouth, it’s the truth.
I may omit things,” I make sure to say. “But I don’t lie.
I’ll always be your biggest supporter, Tiff.
All you have to do is tell me what you need. ”
And that was the truth. I won’t lie as if I hadn’t held something back from her, but I have not lied to her. Everything I feel about her, everything that I promised her, is real.
My words linger in the air like dust particles trying to find a place to land. She looks away from me, biting into her bottom lip. I can’t tell if she believes me or not.
“Well, we have one more candidate. I guess we could at least interview her.”
I hold a hand out in front of me, allowing her to walk ahead of me back to our seats. When she goes to walk past, I place my arm out, blocking her. She stops and looks up at me. Those brown eyes causing my heart to beat faster.
“I love you, Tiffany.”
She blushes but quickly tries to cover it with a serious expression.
“I know, Nico. You don’t have to keep saying it.”
Stepping toward her, cutting off the little space between us, I look down into her face.
“I do, and I will until you fully grasp how true those words are.”
She stares blankly at me. I take the opportunity to drop a quick kiss on her lips before she can think to turn away. Letting her go, I grab her hand and lead her back to the leather couch to finish our interviews.
Slowly, I was determined to break down my wife’s walls.