Chapter 19
chapter nineteen
Date Night
Tiffany
I’ve spent most of my day in a mix of anxiety and annoyance. Anxious because I’m going on a date with my husband and annoyed because I remind myself, I’m already married to the man.
Last night with Nico was special. It didn’t feel like all the other times of making love to him.
This felt different, deeper even. Hearing him tell the story of his godfather and how they sent him to that boy’s home hurt my heart.
I knew he was hiding some type of pain. Was it the betrayal of his uncle that caused his trauma, or did something happen at the home?
All I know is that while I listened as he told that story, it was the first time I got a glimpse of the man I married. I want more of that.
“No, go with the studs,” Mira says through the other end of my FaceTime call.
I was getting dressed for my date. I hadn’t heard from Nico since he left the house this morning. But thankfully when he asked Rose to watch Noah, he told her what time the date was.
“Are you sure?” I ask, holding the large hoops up to one ear and the studs to the other.
“You’re wearing your hair behind your ear, right?”
I still wore my hair in the long lace front bob. Unlike last night, I’d straightened it out, making it a blunt cut.
“Yes.”
“Then definitely the studs.”
Taking her advice, I placed the gold hoops down on my dresser and put the studs in my ears.
“Do you think I’m moving too fast?”
Mira takes a swig of her drink. “Girl, you’re married. It’s not like you’re going on a date with a man you just met.”
Flopping down on the bed, I pick up the phone I had propped up on the nightstand and hold it to my face.
“You know what I mean. I’m still mad at him.”
“And again, what are you mad at him for?”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. I feel like I might be giving in too soon. We made a breakthrough last night.”
“Enough for y’all to fuck.”
Sometimes I hate I tell my best friend all my business. But when you get dick as good as I did last night and this morning, you have to tell someone.
“Yes. But Nico and I never had issues with sex; it’s other things.” Like trust.
“Do you love him?” Her question catches me completely off guard.
“I know you met that man, and within six-months y’all were dating, and after nine you two were married and expecting Noah. So I have to ask, do you love him?”
Had you asked me that question three months ago, I would’ve shouted from the rooftop, yes. But now I’m not sure. I’m not sure if I can trust my heart. It was misled into falling for him. I love the version of the man I thought I’d met by chance. How can I be sure I love this version?
“I don’t know,” I admit honestly.
Mira stares at me for a moment, then bursts into laughter. I stare at her through the phone, shocked at her response.
“What is so funny?”
“You and the river of denial you’re swimming in.”
Shooting to my feet, I glare at my best friend. “I’m not in denial. You don’t know what he did.”
“Exactly,” she says, cutting me off. “The fact that you won’t even tell me what he did, lets me know you’re protecting him. And if you are protecting him from my judgement, it tells me you still love him.”
I stand silently, staring back at her through my phone screen.
Her words took their time unfolding in my head.
The thought of telling Mira what Nico did to get me makes me feel uneasy.
I know what he did is bad, and killing Marcus aside, is still against the law.
If I tell her and she agrees, or worse, reports him, I couldn’t live with that. I guess I was protecting him.
Sitting back on the bed, I sigh. “You’re right, I still love him.” I admitted to her as if she didn’t already know.
“Duh.” She laughs. “Look. I’m sure whatever he did hurt you, and I’m not saying you should just forgive him immediately.
I’m saying that if there is still love between you two and he isn’t cheating or beating on you, then why not try to work it out?
It’s obvious Nico is trying. Hell, the man came and got you from your mama’s and drug you back home.
He called my phone every twenty minutes when you were gone to find you; that’s either love or obsession. ”
I don’t comment that it might be a bit of both when it comes to my husband.
“When me and Quentin got married, my grandmother pulled me aside and told me she had the secret to a long, happy marriage. Do you want to know what that secret is?”
“Of course.”
“Communication, respect, and commitment.”
It seemed too simple, but I got it.
Mira continues, “Talk to your husband. If what he did bothers you, have a conversation about it, but I advise you to listen as much as you talk. There may be a reason behind his actions.”
In my mind, there is no real reason for the shit he did.
He had me kidnapped and scared for my life.
I mean, who the hell does that just to get a girl?
But maybe, having this conversation with him and actually listening this time will help me understand him.
Or at least better understand where we stand in this relationship.
“You’re right.” I push my hair behind my ear.
“I know I’m right. Now, go and enjoy your date with your man and talk to him.”
Mira blew me a kiss before disconnecting the call. I finished getting dressed and was giving myself one last look over when I heard my mother’s voice.
“Is that what you’re wearing?”
I turn to find her leaning against the doorframe of my bedroom. Her face is pinched in distaste.
I take in my faux leather pants and the long-sleeve cream-colored bodysuit that shows off my cleavage. The outfit was cute but practical.
“What’s wrong with it?”
Evelyn rolls her eyes and pushes away from the door frame, walking over to my bed.
“Nothing if you’re going out to brunch with some friends. But you are going out to dinner with your husband.”
I once again look at my outfit. Mira and I both agreed that this was nice, especially paired with my six-inch-high heels.
“It’s not that bad,” I reply, not so sure anymore.
My mother shakes her head as she comes to stand behind me. Her reflection in the mirror gives me that stern motherly glare, which is weird since she knows nothing about being a mother.
“Look,” she starts, and I turn to face her. “You’re right about me. I know nothing about being a mother.”
Damn, she must’ve read my mind.
“But there is one thing I know very well, and that’s how to move in this world you’re currently in now.”
She turns away from me and heads into my closet. I follow behind her.
“Rich men are like children.” She looks through my rows of designer clothes. Most of which my husband has bought me or had a stylist bring over. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done my fair share of shopping for this closet as well. Just not as much as Nico.
“They love shiny new things. It’s in their DNA,” she goes on to say as she pulls out the hunter green satin wrap dress that is made to look like a man’s dress shirt but in a feminine, stylish way.
The way the dress wraps leaves a split up one thigh.
The dress is brand new and still has the tags on it.
She lays the dress across my closet island and then goes over to my shoes.
“Their infatuation with new and flashy things is part of how they make their money. They are always chasing a new great venture.”
“That’s not Nico,” I argue.
Evelyn places a pair of brown strappy heels down beside the dress before going into the island to my jewelry section.
“That’s all rich men.” She places a pair of gold chunky hoops down on top of the dress.
“Not Nico.” I feel the need to defend my man. “He loves me.”
Evelyn chuckles before searching through the other drawers until she finds my bracelets.
“Johnathan adored me.” She pulls out my stack of gold bangles and puts them out beside the earrings. “He used to write me poetry.”
Johnathan was her second husband. He was an athlete.
“Mitchell spoiled me. He never wanted to sleep a night away from me. Samuel,” she sighs and looks away longingly. “He was obsessed with me. If I even looked as if I was unhappy with him, he would take me shopping.”
When she looks back at me, the look of longing is gone, and there is only neutrality on her face.
“Do you know what all those men have in common?”
I felt like I knew the answer to this, but I wanted to hear her response anyway. Swallowing the knot that has formed in my throat, I barely get out my next word.
“What?”
She grins. “They all left me and moved on to the next shiny new toy.”
Still feeling the need to argue against this case, I say. “He wouldn’t do that. We have a child together.”
She shakes her head. “So did the wives of two of my ex-husbands and five ex-boyfriends. You think a child will keep a man?”
Look, I know that children have not, and never will make a person stay where they don’t want to be.
I’m not na?ve. I even know that tossing a baby into an already failing marriage won’t save it.
My response is because I know Nico. He loves Noah.
The thought of him traveling without his son with him bothers him; he’d never want to live without him.
Who says he wouldn’t? He could take you to court and get half if not full custody. The thought comes so quickly, I gasp at the realization.
Shaking my head, I try to force that voice away. No need to add problems. Nico hasn’t shown me any signs of not wanting me. Hell, my pussy still aches from how much he showed me he wants me.
Evelyn walks over to me and places a hand on my cheek.
“I’m not saying this to hurt you. I want to prepare you for the hurt that I’ve experienced.
” She drops her hand back down at her side.
“I’ll give you some advice. You can take it or leave it.
When the I love you’s start to come few and far between.
When the hunger in his eyes for you starts to fade.
When he stops reminding you how beautiful you are every time he sees you.