Chapter 35
35
MALCOLM
“M alcolm…Malcolm? Hey, Malcolm!” Alice’s voice pulls me out of my head and back into reality.
“Jesus, Alice. What the fuck do you want?” I snap and turn around in the office chair I’m sitting in. I had come to the office to do some administrative work for Butcher and Block before leaving for the night to head to Kolbi’s. It’s our first time picking up for campaign night after he and Magnolia did a two week trip around Europe for their honeymoon.
“First of all”—she places a hand on her hip before popping it to one side—“you do not speak to me that way. Secondly, what the hell are you still doing here?”
“What’s it look like I’m doing? I’m working. I have to finalize the schedule for the next two weeks and?—”
“Malcolm, I don’t know what you call working but you definitely were not just working. You were dead ass asleep when I came in here.”
I was?
“Well I’m awake now, happy? Now leave me alone so I can finish this.” My voice is gruff, but when I go to spin the chair back around to face the computer, her hand stops me.
“Dude, are you okay?” Her voice is filled with concern and her eyes look at me as if she’s looking at a wounded animal.
“Why would you think I’m not okay?”
“Because you look like shit,” she deadpans. My tongue pushes into the inside of my cheek as I try not to lose control. “Plus, you haven’t been acting like yourself recently. You move through this place like a zombie, I haven’t seen you pick up a book in weeks, it looks like you haven’t eaten since March, and the bags under your eyes are big enough to carry the entire contents of my purse. And when was the last time you’ve been to the training center? I haven’t heard you mention it in weeks.”
She moves around the chair and sits on the edge of the old wooden desk that I’m pretty sure Marshall plucked off the side of the road one day and hauled in here to use for the office, not wanting to pay for something new. “I’m concerned, Malcolm.”
“Well, I’m fine and you don’t need to worry. I just haven’t been sleeping recently—too much on my mind.” And too much in my system , I think to myself. My once a day habit is now two because one isn’t enough anymore to help me stay focused and efficient. Clearly I’m going to need to bump that up if people are noticing me slipping.
She studies me for a beat with her lips tucked before speaking. “Alright, if you say so. You’ll come to me if you need help though?”
“ Yes, I’ll come to you if I need any help. Thank you, Alice.” I attempt a smile and pray that it passes as normal. I assume it does when she moves off the desk and walks for the office door to head back out to the main part of the bar.
“Oh, and Malcolm?” she calls out and I turn around to look at her.
“You know it’s seven thirty, right?”
“ Fuck ,” I groan, standing hastily from the chair and grabbing my shit as quickly as I can. I’m supposed to be at Kolbi’s by now and it’s going to take me at least twenty minutes to get there.
Conrad’s going to kill me.
* * *
Before heading inside, I pull out my stash that I keep hidden in the back of my glovebox and quickly swallow my third dose of the day. I took two this morning like I’ve been doing the last two weeks but after the run-in with Alice, I figure one more isn’t a bad idea. Sitting across the table from my friends I do my best to stay focused on the story Kolbi is weaving for us like he always does but my brain keeps getting distracted by everything happening around us.
How loud the TV is in the other room.
The noises coming from the kitchen where Ms. Ruthie is shuffling around.
The irritating way Hank is drumming his fingers along the top of the table.
How my heart is pounding so hard in my chest I’m convinced the guys can hear it from where they’re sitting.
It’s like every sound has been turned up several notches and it’s making it impossible to focus on anything else.
“Ohhh, nicely done, Tolith. With that roll, you escape the underground prison. Denis, it’s your turn,” Kolbi instructs, speaking to me but I can’t reply because my head is too preoccupied with everything going on around me.
“Can you please tell her to stop?” I groan with my head in my hand and my eyes squeezed shut. My ears are becoming overwhelmed with the blaring noises of the house and it feels like they’re about to bleed.
“What did you say?” Kolbi asks.
“I said , can you please tell her to stop?” I look up and bark at him. His eyes go wide as he looks at me from across the table, and Conrad and Hank both glance between us.
“Make who stop, brother? What the hell are you talking about?”
“Her.” My chin juts towards the kitchen where we see Ms. Ruthie wiping down the counters with a cloth like she always does once she puts away whatever dessert she’s made for the night before retiring to her own living space off the back of the house. “It’s insufferable.”
“Dude, you can hardly hear her.” Conrad’s voice reeks of skepticism and I feel the strong urge to hit him.
“Really? Because it sounds like she’s sawing wood to me. And the girls, can someone tell them to fucking turn it down?”
“Hey, lighten up man. They’re not bothering anyone,” Hank chastises and he looks like he wants to hit me. I fucking dare him. There’s nothing I’d love more than to throw a fist or two right now.
“Malcolm, are you okay, brother?” Kolbi asks and when I look at him, I can see it in his eyes. The concern. The worry. I wish people would stop looking at me like that.
“Of course I’m okay, why is everyone asking me that today?” I cross my arms defensively in front of my chest and look anywhere but my friends.
“Uhh, maybe because you’re being a massive fucking tool right now?” I hear Conrad scoff under his breath and it snaps something in me. I stand from my chair so quickly it falls over behind me as I tower over him.
“You gotta fuckin’ problem, man? Say it to my face instead of being a goddamn pussy and mumbling it under your breath like a five year old,” I shout at him.
“Hey, lay off, Malcolm,” Kolbi scolds, standing from his own chair. He might have several inches on me but I’m not afraid of him. I’d take him in a heartbeat just like I would Hank.
“No, I’m tired of this asshole acting like he’s better than all of us when he’s not,” I bark at him before turning my sights back on Conrad.
“Listen here, Connie , I don’t know where you get off acting like a pretentious asshole all the time, but newsflash, you’re just as fucked up as the rest of us. You might have been able to play the dead parents card all you wanted as a kid to gain sympathy and get away with being a fucking prick all the time but that card has been revoked. It’s a good thing the three of us came along to save your ass when we did or you would have been alone for the rest of your goddamn life.”
“Malcolm, enough .” Hank is now standing from his chair, glowering next to me.
“Oh, you wanna get in on this, too, Hanky? Wanna talk about how your dad beat the shit out of you so you ran away and joined the Army? How fucking high and mighty of you.” I scoff at him.
“You fucking asshole.” He starts to lunge at me and I brace myself for a fight when the sound of a thick Southern drawl cuts through the tension like a knife.
“What the hell is going on here?” Hank’s hands are gripping the collar of my shirt and my face is screwed up into a snarl as Bailey and Magnolia walk into the dining room. Her hands are on her hips and she is looking at all of us like an angry school teacher who just found her students dicking around when they are supposed to be taking a test. We’re all frozen where we are, breathing heavily after things had quickly gotten out of hand.
“Nothing, nothing is going on here.” I pull Hank’s hands off me and snatch my jacket off of the back of my chair. “I’m out of here.”
“Malcolm, wait, come back here,” I hear Kolbi call out as I reach the front door and yank it open. But instead of turning around and going back inside, I slam the door behind me and head for my truck.