Crimson
“Dada!”
Scarlett blurted out. I’d printed out a picture of Jahsir, and Scarlett carried it around like it was a teddy bear.
My heart dropped every time she said it.
I had spent months showing her pictures of Jahsir.
I whispered his name to her and said ‘ dada’ in our prayers, hoping she’d never forget, and now it flowed effortlessly from her.
It was only a couple of months ago that she went around saying Jah Jah.
I worked so hard to change that, but unfortunately, he wasn’t around to see it.
Usually, I’d stop and explain to her that ‘dada’ wasn’t here, but today I was so busy that I didn’t have time.
I felt bad for even having her with me. She was running around while I worked tirelessly to make sure there weren't any stray needles lying around that could poke her.
I gathered tule and other fabric to tidy up a bit.
I was so overwhelmed with responsibilities that I was sure I'd be begging Zahara to hold on to her for the rest of the evening.
“Looks like a tornado landed here!”
“Girl, you were literally just on my mind. How did you get back here? These people are strict.”
“Don’t worry about that. I got my ways, bestie. But um, take a minute.”
“To do what, Zahara? I’m unraveling at the seams!”
“That's my point, bestie. Look at you, girl. After all this time, you are thriving.” Zahara raved. “How does it feel to be the go-to fashion girl of Mulholland Falls? Baby, you are in high demand!”
“It feels good.” I sighed. “But somehow… it still isn’t enough.”
I wanted to feel proud. And I was, truly.
But none of this—my success, my survival—would have been possible without Jahsir.
The fact that he hadn’t seen any of it, hadn’t seen me …
it wrecked me. Zahara felt it. She missed her brother, too, but she walked on eggshells around me ever since I broke down on Scarlett’s birthday. So she rarely mentioned him, until now.
“Any word?”
“No. No phone, remember?” I said plainly.
Jah had promised he’d come back for me. Every day I looked for him.
Every night, I went to sleep wondering if tomorrow would be the day.
It never was, and Scarlett’s constant cries of ‘dada’ made it clear.
The only thing I had to offer was the slideshow of us on my phone.
Soon, that wouldn't be enough, not for her and certainly not for me.
“Dada!” She said again, more urgently this time.
“Zahara, can you take her home with you? I still have work to do, and I don’t want her in the way. Hell, if I’m lucky, maybe I’ll get to peek in on the reception, hopefully find me a new nigga.”
“Yeah, okay. The mere mention of you with another man would definitely bring Jahsir out of hiding.”
“And that's the plan!” We both laughed.
“But yeah, I got her, Crim. Get back to work. Love you!”
“Love you too, bestie,” I said my goodbyes and continued to clean up the room connected to the bridal suite.
I was working the wedding of my biggest client yet.
The socialite of Mulholland Falls had vanished for weeks and come back engaged to the richest man in the city.
It was the fairytale everyone craved. The streets had been talking about it.
Everybody who was anybody was at this wedding.
As for me, I was just happy to be in the room.
I designed each one of her dresses from scratch.
“Excuse me, Ms. Crimson,” a young woman approached me, dressed in a black cocktail dress, an earpiece adorning her right ear. I was sure she was another one of my clients' security details. “Mrs. Brynlee Mulholland needs assistance changing into her third gown. Please follow me.”
I retrieved the final dress and followed the assistant into the bridal suite. Brynlee was gorgeous, with sandy brown skin, bold dark eyes, and long dark hair. She stood dressed in her white lace undergarments, awaiting my assistance.
“Hi, Crimson. Thank you again for all of your help today,” Brynlee said as I walked in. “I am not used to all of this hands-on support. You must think I'm pretty pathetic, needing help getting into gowns.
“Oh, it's no problem! It’s your day, you shouldn’t have to lift a finger.” I smiled. “Let's get you dressed.”
After I unzipped the garment bag, I held the dress in front of her. Her eyes watered, and she thanked me for bringing her vision to life on such short notice. I helped her into her gown, then we walked over to the mirror. She admired her beauty, I assumed, while I admired my work.
“Do you like it?”
“Oh, Crimson… this is beautiful. You’ve Captured and Captivated me with your talent. I hope Ramsey loves it.”
“I’m sure he will. You are good to go, Mrs. Mulholland.” She stiffened slightly at the name. “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”
“No, not at all. And please, call me Brynlee. I’m just uh getting used to being called Mulholland. Getting used to being married. It feels weird.”
“Weird?” I raised a brow. “Nothing weird about true love. You two look happy. But I get it, people only see the photos. They fill in the rest with whatever story they want.”
“True. Thank you again.”
“You look stunning. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.”
“Crimson, I don’t have many friends. If you get some time, join me at the reception?”
“I’d love to.”
I watched her float out of the room in her third designer gown and sighed. It was getting harder to watch everyone live their joy while mine felt so far away. Seven months without Jahsir. Seven months clinging to a maybe. His promise to return “in a year tops” was the only thing keeping me upright.
I found myself humming Destiny's Child's “Killing Time.” Yes, it was decades old, but it expressed exactly what I felt.
Sitting on the stairways,
hoping that you’re okay,
waiting patiently for you to come back to me
What shall I do?
I was so gone that I could have sworn I heard Jahsir call out to me. Wishful thinking , I shrugged as I gathered the final scraps of material.
“Red.” I paused in my tracks. His voice sounded more real. I turned to see him standing there.
“Jah!” I screamed, launching myself into his arms. My legs wrapped around his waist like my body remembered him better than my mind. “What are you doing here?!”
“I couldn’t miss my cousin’s wedding.” He grinned.
“Ms. Brynlee is your cousin?” I blinked.
“No, I am.” A deep voice answered from behind us. Ramsey stepped in, phone in hand. “Y’all don’t have much time,” he added.
“And I definitely wouldn’t miss the chance to come get you.”
“Come get me?”
“We have to go, Crimson. But we need to leave now. Samson’s got the IT database looped, so when they scan our passports, different names will show. We’ve got about 15 hours, tops. That includes flight time, so no time to overthink. We ride now.”
“The media’s starting to gather out front,” Ramsey added. “I’ll send Slim around back so no one sees you leave. Jet’s fueled and ready. Y’all good?”
“Red… are we good?” Jahsir asked.
I hadn’t even processed him being here, and now he was telling me to leave everything. “Wait, Jah…you’re related to the richest family in the damn city! That's crazy! Zahara didn’t tell me that!”
“She’s not a Mulholland. I am because of my father. You know we got different daddies.”
“Okay, so run down the family tree for me.”
“Red, no,” he laughed, "we really have to go, like now.”
“Okay, okay. But wait, Scarlett. I’m not going anywhere without my baby.”
“Our baby, Red. Samson is taking her and Zahara to the hangar.”
“Who is Samson?” I asked, confused. Everything was happening so fast, too fast.
“That's my lil brother.” Ramsey handed over a manila envelope to Jahsir. “Here are the passports. You’ve got ten minutes, lil’ cuz.” He dapped Jah up and left us in the bridal suite.
I stared at Jahsir. “This is a lot, Jah. I’ve built a life. Scarlett has friends and a daycare she loves.”
“Bae, she’s not gonna remember those kids,” he said, grinning as I laughed. It was the weakest excuse I'd ever used, and we both knew it.
“What about my boutique?”
“It’s four walls, Crim. Four walls that mean nothing without you in them.” He pulled something from his suit jacket and handed it to me. It was a check, with lots of zeroes, and it had my name on it.
My eyes widened. “Four hundred and twenty thousand dollars? What is this?”
“Brynlee wants the fashions. Ramsey wants the space. The check covers both.”
“Jah… are we really doing this?”
“Shit, you tell me…”
I swallowed. My heart raced. “What if I don’t like the new boutique? What if they hate my designs overseas? What if Scarlett is the only Black girl in her class and the other kids are mean?”
He tilted my chin up. “Or what if…you marry me? Then we can take it from there.”
I stared at him, speechless. All this time, I held it together, thinking he might come back. I built a whole world just to survive the days he didn’t. But now he was here, really here , and everything I thought I’d need to say vanished.
Tears of relief slipped down my cheeks. This shit was happening, and my mind was finally clear.
“Yes,” I whispered, “Yes, Jah-” He cut me off, kissing me hungrily.
“Let’s go get our girl,” he mumbled against my lips.
Ten minutes later, Slim had us out the back and secured in the black SUV. The wedding still went on. I temporarily felt bad because I was really ready to get to know Brynlee better. I suppose we’d eventually get a chance since Jahsir was family.
When we arrived at the hangar, Ramsey’s jet was waiting under a sky full of stars, and so was Scarlett, laughing in Zahara’s arms.
Scarlett squealed when she saw him. She violently thrashed in Zahara’s arms, desperate to get to Jah. “Dada!” She screeched again.
Jah lifted her high into the air, spinning her around. I’d never seen him smile so wide. I gave them their moment while I made peace with everything.
I looked back one last time as the last year flashed before my eyes. The struggle, depression, and anxiety, growth and strength overwhelmed me, and I was flooded with emotions. I hugged Zahara, scared to let go. I wasn’t sure when I’d see her again.
Then I looked forward to my family and my future.
“I hate to cut the reunion short, but you gotta go, cuz. Desperate Times calls for Desperate Measures. Y'all ready?” Samson asked, nodding toward the jet.
“Yeah,” I said, lacing my fingers with Jahsir’s. “We’re ready.”
The End