Chapter 3 #2
"No. I have to get Scarlett before my auntie leaves out for Bingo. You never answer your phone. So, I asked you to pick me up, so we could talk."
"So talk, man." He scoffed with an attitude.
"Look, I was wondering if you wanted to come up with some kind of visiting schedule. She's getting older and has barely seen you."
“I'm busy with Kenya and the boys-”
"Don't talk to me about your other baby mama or those kids.”
“You mean my wife?” He smirked proudly.
“I wouldn’t give a fuck if she was the Pope. Up until nine months ago, none of them existed. And whatever you have going on with them has nothing to do with Scarlett."
“Well, as I said, I'm tied up.”
"Can we at least get on a payment schedule?"
“I knew you were going to ask for some bread. You don’t care about me seeing the baby.”
“No, YOU, don’t care about seeing the baby.”
“Bitter baby mama. You want money and if I don’t provide it, you use the baby as a chess piece. Typical."
"Typical? I take care of your child. A child you begged me to have and left me to raise on my own. Now she has to take a backseat because you used me as a reprieve from a family you already had? That's craziness!"
"Yo, I'm not about to argue with you. Tell me what the baby needs-“
“STOP CALLING HER THE BABY! HER NAME IS SCARLETT!” I yelled. The man disassociated from his responsibilities so well that he saw her as nothing more than ‘the baby’. That’s probably why he didn’t feel like he needed to spend time with her, or support her financially.
“You’re yelling about her name instead of telling me what she needs. Crimson I'm not about to put a stack in your hand so you can pay your personal bills. Shit that doesn't have anything to do with the ba-, with Scarlett.” He corrected himself. “So just tell me what she needs.”
"If the electricity or gas is off, then Scarlett goes without air or heat. If my phone is off, then I can't call out for an emergency if something happens. Diapers and formula are the tip of the iceberg when it comes to our daughter."
“You heard what I said. Tell me what she needs and I’ll get it.”
I got quiet, taming my emotions, I suppose.
She had diapers, wipes, clothes, all of the basics, but they needed to be replenished every so often.
I was paying my auntie full price to do a half-ass job babysitting Scarlett, and I was sick of her.
If he gave me money, I could afford to send her to a real daycare center.
"You can contribute to her daycare," I finally said. "It's $350 a week."
"$350? Fuck I look like, an ATM?"
"You make that an hour selling dope or whatever the hell it is you do. Why do I have to beg you for money, Que?"
"Cuz I'm not about to front your lifestyle. You got your nails and shit done.”
“These $8 press-on nails are from the beauty supply! Did you not hear me say money is tight right now? I just need to pay some stuff off and I’ll be good.”
“Crimson, I'll give you $50 a week. That should be good enough. Take it or leave it."
"Pathetic. Pathetic ass rich boy."
"What the fuck you say to me?"
"I said you're pathetic. Got two women pregnant at once, and now you are picking and choosing which of your kids to support. Scarlett has to grow up with daddy wounds because you thought slangin dick from coast to coast was gonna cure your deep-seated insecurity.”
"Man what? Fuck out my ride, Crimson.”
“Why am I being met with such hostility? You sleep very well at night in your big house with your perfect little wife. YOU threw the curveball in our relationship. YOU are not helping me with Scarlett. And because I’m expressing how I feel, it's a problem?”
“You got a smart ass mouth so you can figure this shit out on your own. Get out of my pathetic, insecure car." He exited the highway and pulled into a restaurant's parking lot. "Get out."
"I'm not getting out. I'm not familiar with this side of town! Have you lost your mind?!"
Que put the car in park and got out. He headed to my side and once again asked me to get out. When I refused, his anger became more evident, shocking the hell out of me. I really couldn’t understand how he was the angry one.
"Crimson, get the fuck out of my car before I throw you out. Get a Lyft. I got shit to do," he raged while opening my door.
"My account is in the negative, and I don't have money for a Lyft right now," I added as I exited his car. Que headed to the other side. “Que! Do you hear me?”
"Not my problem." He scoffed as he pulled off, leaving me in the dust behind him.
Que had lost his damn mind. I mean, what was he thinking, talking about going back to his house?
I had not slept with that man since I was three, maybe four months pregnant, so I know good and well he didn’t think I was about to have sex with him.
Either way, one thing was crystal clear.
He didn’t ask how Scarlett was doing, which meant she wasn't a priority. The amount of disrespect and lack of his attentiveness regarding Scarlett made it perfectly clear that I would never ask him for anything else, and for damn sure wasn’t forcing their relationship.
He’d have to come to me first if he wanted something with her. I was never reaching out again.
The sky was starting to change into a beautiful hue of pinks, purples and oranges.
The sun was setting and leaving such a beautiful print behind.
I glanced around the parking lot that I was abandoned in.
The sidewalks were cracked , the street lights flickered and each surface whether it was a wall or concrete was tagged in graffiti .
All I could do is blink back my tears and once again rely on someone to get me out of my predicament. Fuck .
I called Venus twice, but she didn't answer. If I knew any better, she and Shad were scratching up the headboards. I was sure Scarlett would have a cousin born within the year, tops, messing around with them. I waited for a little bit, giving Venus a minute to call me back. When she didn’t, I called Shad.
“Hey, I am stranded at ShaRay’s. Can you ask Venus to grab me? She’s not answering her phone or texts.”
“She’s at work. She picked up an extra shift at the hospital. And I got your daughter over here; my mama dropped her off.”
“Was she pissed?”
“She wasn’t pleased.” We both laughed. “But don’t worry about all that. This little angel is happy and safe. I just put her down for a nap.”
“Thanks, Shad, I hope she’s not too much trouble.”
“You good, she good. I’mma send a ride for you.”
“K.”
“And go on inside, Crim. I don’t want to have to kill a nigga over my favorite cousin.”
I smiled, ended the call, and stepped inside.
ShaRay’s smelled like heaven dipped in butter and Old Bay.
A mixture of seafood filled the air wrapping around me like a warm coat.
Each breath I inhaled gave me a whiff of something new.
First crab legs, no maybe crawfish, fried fish of course and even the sweet smell of corn.
The place hummed with the gossip of locals and the clang of dishes in the background.
Music played low over the speakers adding to the vibe of this hidden hood gem.
I’d lived in Mulholland Falls most of my life and never set foot on this side of town.
It was the roughest of the neighborhoods but held the best restaurants.
I always got my food delivered but somehow, I skipped this place.
Everyone swore ShaRay’s had the best food around but with it planted dead in the heart of the grimiest hood I kept a polite distance.
The thought of this being the grimiest neighborhood pissed me off all over again as I thought about that fool kicking me out of his car.
And now I was starving. See, this is what I missed about having money.
Not big stuff or luxury, just the comfort of ordering food without counting quarters.
I couldn’t even afford a ride home, let alone the cheapest thing on the menu which was a $1 potato.
I eased down onto the bench by the door with my arms crossed tight.
It was exhausting.
To make matters worse, within ten minutes, Jah walked in, bringing me peace…
and discomfort. The tension in my shoulders eased, and relief cruised through me at the sight of him.
His presence was grounding yet disturbing because I knew he’d want to pick up where we left off, or at least address me not answering his calls over the past few weeks. Here goes nothing , I exhaled.