Chapter 9
Wakingup with fresh memories of being held by Lucas was confusing. I loved it, and I hated it. There were so many questions. Did he do it to score points and gain my trust so he could use it against me? As much as I wanted to go with that explanation, I struggled to believe it. He’d held me, and we’d stayed there for hours. Would he have done that to score points?
There was a good chance. Half a billion dollars was a lot of money. People had done a whole lot more for much less. Although, I’d overheard my share of whiny women, and I wasn’t sure half a billion was worth it.
I reached Sealed with a Kiss and smiled at the name. They made invitations, and it was the cute name that had me meeting the owner this morning. As I stepped inside, a fresh floral scent wafted around me, and the door swung shut behind me. There were samples of invitations for every sort of occasion, and some I had no idea were a thing. I guess if someone was done having kids, a vasectomy was a thing to celebrate. Just not sure if I were a guy, I’d want it broadcasted that my crown was missing its jewels.
On the far wall, I spotted the occasion I was here for. I crossed the small floor and scanned them. I couldn’t believe that in less than two weeks, I was getting married. It felt so foreign to even think about it. It was so rushed and forced and all the things a wedding wasn’t supposed to be. Thankfully, my father went out of town this morning. It was at the last minute, and I was never happier to see him leave.
My mom should be here. She should be helping me decide what color the invitations should be, tasting cakes with me, and doing the gasp when I walked out in the one dress that was perfect. I knew it was a fake marriage, but it was a marriage.
I was a girl without her mother making decisions about the most important day of my life. How was I supposed to do this without her?
There was no crying, though. If people saw tears, they’d wonder why Claire Benoit wasn’t the happiest bride-to-be in Chicago. I didn’t need my father breathing down my neck and screaming at me in the middle of all this.
When the bell chimed above the door, I was surprised to see Thea gliding in. The last person I’d ever expected was her. Why was she here? How did she know I was here?
“Hello, Claire.” She looked down her nose, her eyes rolled over me from head to toe, and she smiled. I felt like I’d been undressed, inspected, and now my butt had a stamp of approval on it. Her head tilted, and this time she flashed what seemed to be a genuine smile; like she was happy to see me. “If it’s okay, I’d like to tag along today.”
I was shocked all the way to my core. “You would?”
“The sheer joy I’ll get from seeing Lucas’s confused face when I tell him I’ve been with you all day will last me a week. Plus, I’ve never done anything like this before, and I’m curious.”
I didn’t even care about her reasons. Lucas or otherwise. She had no idea how much I wanted her here. If nothing else, she was another woman to share an opinion on things. Plus, it was her brother getting married. He probably wanted some say without actually sitting in on this stuff. “I’d love that.”
“My brother likes you, so I like you.” She took the end of my braid and rolled it in her fingers. “Do you ever let your hair down?”
My brain split in two. Lucas liked me? She liked me? I was tempted to grab a cab and go to the emergency room to get tested for drugs—either that or a hearing test. The drugs seemed more likely based on the hallucination I was currently experiencing.
The other side of my brain was registering that she’d asked about my hair. That was another memory I would rather not dredge on a day when I was making decisions about another day that was supposed to be life-altering. Binding my soul to another human being. One that was only marrying me because of my trust fund.
I shook my head. “No.”
Thea’s eyes narrowed. “That’s a story for my brother, yes?”
My pulse jumped. Jeez, it was like she could read my soul. “Maybe one day.” I chewed my bottom lip and quickly changed subjects. “You’re close to him, aren’t you? Is that a story for him to tell me one day?”
“No.” She languidly moved to the wall where there was a display of various styles of invitations. “He found me on the street when I was ten. I was only a month older than Alexander. I’d been homeless about a year at that point?—”
“A year?”
She nodded.
I wanted to ask why, but it didn’t feel like the right time. “How did Lucas find you?”
“A man dragged me into an alleyway, and let’s just say… his intentions were less than pure. Lucas stopped him, and by some miracle, he never had the chance to do that to another child.” She smiled. “Lucas took me home. Ma and Pa took one look at me, hugged me, and shortly after, adopted me.”
A swell of pride filled my chest. The man who rescued her was going to marry me. That sweet story didn’t dissolve all my misgivings, but it sure helped. “I’m glad he found you, and they loved you.”
“They did. They gave me what I thought I’d lost—a happy childhood.” It was the first time I sensed real emotion from her. She looked at me. “I owe Lucas more than just my life, so know that if you hurt him, there is nowhere you can hide from me.”
This woman would kill me slowly. Message received. “I don’t think you have to worry about that,” I said softly. Maybe she didn’t realize that the sand was quickly slipping from my hourglass.
The moment I found out about that trust fund, I knew my father was most likely going to kill me. I’d been an annoyance since I was very young. It seemed logical to assume once he had what he wanted, he’d no longer keep me around.
Lucas had formed an alliance with him. Even if he didn’t want to hurt me, he had his family to think of, and I wasn’t delusional enough to think I would be counted in that number.
“Ms. Benoit!” A woman strode from the back. “I’m Sarah Wallace. I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.” She shook my hand furiously. My horrible name preceded me, apparently.
“It’s okay.” I turned to Thea. “This… this is my sister-in-law-to-be, Thea.”
They shook hands, and we were led to a table filled with more samples. It was a rushed wedding to a man I barely knew, but there was the little girl in me who had dreamed of a prince that seemed to take control.
I’d called my father’s secretary that morning and asked her to send over a guest list since she took care of that sort of thing for him. Once all was said and done, I’d ordered ivory-colored invitations embossed with a cyan blue, the color of the Greek flag. It had cost extra, but I didn’t care.
Thea and I left, walked a few blocks, and dipped into a cake shop. What I found interesting was how she seemed to be enjoying herself. Actually, I found myself enjoying the process. Thea in no way took my mom’s place, but I was grateful she was here.
She seemed a little surprised when I requested a sponge cake soaked in a syrup of water, sugar, and orange blossoms and a dessert table of koufeta—a traditional wedding favor of sugared almonds. The baker’s phone rang, and she looked at me apologetically.
“Go ahead and take it,” I told her.
“Thank you.” She quickly excused herself.
Thea eyed me.
“What?”
“You can order anything you like, and you choose something Greek.” There was suspicion in her tone. “And traditional Greek wedding favors.”
Shrugging, I fidgeted with the end of my braid. “It’s Lucas’s wedding, too.”
“You’re French. No crepes, or…”
“I prefer other things.”
Before she could respond, the baker returned, and we finished up. I was dreading the next stop, the wedding dress boutique. As we entered, I rubbed the spot over my heart and worked to hold back tears. I felt petulant, wanting to stomp my feet and demanding that God give my mom back. It wasn’t fair.
The shop bell rang, and in walked Helen.
The dam burst as tears flowed. “How did you know?”
She gathered me in a hug. “Thea thought I might enjoy dress shopping with you.” She looked at Thea. “The cake tasting would have been wonderful too, I bet.”
Lucas’s sister grinned. “You said that you’re trying to watch your figure, and if I love you, I’d help you resist temptation. I did exactly as you asked.”
“When have you ever done as you were asked?”
She leveled her gaze at Helen. “There’s a first time for everything.”
Helen released me, grabbed a tissue from a nearby table, and wiped my face. “We can’t cry until we find the one.”
I was both surprised and relieved that she didn’t ask about my mother. I guess somehow it’d gotten back to her. Whoever had told her, I appreciated it. Talking about my mom would grind this dress shopping to a stop.
A bridal assistant appeared. “I’m Shanna. How may I help you?”
“I’m not sure,” I answered. “It’ll have to be something that requires little to no alterations. I’m getting married a week from Saturday.”
Shanna’s eyebrows hit her hairline. “Wow, that’s fast. All right. Um…” She walked around me. “Size two?”
“Yes.” I wasn’t surprised she knew my size.
“Do you have any idea what style you’re looking for?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“All right then. Follow me. With your size, we’ll have a fair number of dresses to try. The only challenge will be your height.”
Shocker. Not! “Okay.”
Thea, Helen, and I followed Shanna to the back of the store and into a room filled with dresses. Most were white, with a few black, red, and even a purple mixed in.
“Why don’t you three look around while I get a dressing room set up? I’ll be back in a moment.”
I nodded and said, “Thank you.”
Thea walked to one of the racks and began sifting through them. “I must admit I’m surprised you don’t have an idea what kind of dress you want.”
I fought with dresses, trying to look at them. None of them were appealing to me. Too beaded, too heavy, too much. “My mom and I talked about it a couple of times. My father caught us, and…” It was best I didn’t dwell on that. “I didn’t think about it much when I was growing up.” I hoped that would be the end of it and was delighted when they let it go so easily.
“Well, it’s your day, so this choice is yours,” Helen grunted as she pushed an especially full gown to the side. “This thing would swallow you whole.”
“I want something simple. No beads, no heavy satin, or super long train.” I sighed, thinking about one of the times Mom and I talked about my wedding. “I thought I’d get married on the beach. Somewhere warm and tropical. I was going to meet someone, fall madly in love, and be swept off my feet. We’d run away together, and I’d never see Chicago again.”
The room went quiet, and I realized I said all that aloud. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. For six months, I’d watched every word that came out of my mouth to make sure I didn’t say something I shouldn’t.
“I’m sorry.” I looked at Helen and then at Thea. “That was just an old conversation with my mom. Dreams change.”
“It sounded nice,” Thea replied.
I waved her off. “Like I said, a silly conversation from long ago.”
It was quiet for a moment, and we went back to digging through the dresses. Thirty minutes later, I was in the dressing room with five dresses to try on. It was daunting, and none of them really felt like me.
I didn’t spend my time trying to be the opposite of my father on purpose, but we were—opposite. He wanted champagne. I wanted a soda. He wanted baked Alaska. I wanted a cheeseburger. I couldn’t really have the wedding I wanted because his friends and associates would be at the wedding. It had to be as grand and elegant as it could be in the limited time that I had.
Those thoughts were running through my head as I tried on those gowns. None of them worked. None of them. They were either frumpy, too revealing, or just uncomfortable. My hope of finding the one was waning. I parked myself on the little ottoman where I’d draped my clothes and sat down in my bra and panties.
My phone went off, and I grabbed it. It was a text from Lucas. Seriously, have I huffed something without my knowledge? First, Thea showed up and spent the day doing wedding crap, and now a text from Lucas?
Hey
Hi.
What are you doing?
Dress shopping.
Find anything?
I won’t cry. I won’t cry. I won’t cry.
Not yet.
I’m sure whatever you wear will be beautiful.
My mom was beautiful.
There was a long moment of silence. He agreed with me, no doubt.
You take after her.
Gulp. I’d had a few people tell me that, but not many. When stacked against my mom, come on, she was a freaking beauty queen.
You really think so?
I really think so.
Before giving it too much thought, I typed out a text and hit send.
Why are you texting me?
Silence. He was probably thinking of a smart comeback. I sighed and set the phone down.
Just as a knock came from the door, my phone chimed again. There on the screen were the six most wonderful words I’d read in a long time.
Because I was thinking about you.
He was thinking about me. Sexy-as-all-get-out Lucas Kalantzis was thinking about me. I thought my underwear might catch fire.
I’ve thought about you too. I have to try on more dresses now.
Okay. If you need anything, call me.
Okay.
There was another knock. I expected Shanna to stick her head in, but it was Thea holding a bag with a dress in it.
“I did a little more looking. I think I?—”
Just the sight of a dress had me weepy again. All I wanted to do was cry. No, all I wanted was my momma.
She entered the rest of the way, hung the dress on a hook, and perched next to me. “You’re not what I expected.”
“I’m worse?” I gave a small laugh.
“No, better.”
I was so shocked that I jerked my gaze to her. “Oh.”
She took a breath. “I’ve grown up with boys, so being friends with women has always been hard for me. They’re too…frilly. I like guns and knives and things my brothers love. I think it might be nice to have a sister.”
“Really?”
She put her arms around me and squeezed. “It’s going to be okay. Lucas…Lucas is dangerous. He’s vicious. He’s the head of our family, and he must make decisions that aren’t always black and white, but he’ll never hurt you. You might even grow to love him one day.”
We sat there for a moment. “I’d love to have a cool sister.”
I felt her laughter before I heard it. “Well, not everyone can be as cool as me.” She released me, stood, and walked to the door. “If you tell anyone I was sappy, I’ll chuck your body in Lake Michigan.”
“I promise all anyone will ever hear me say is that you threatened me with knives. I was never more scared in my life.” I smiled.
Laughter went all the way to her eyes. “Try the dress on. I’ll see you out there.”
I waited until the door was shut and jumped to my feet. A little hope had returned. I unzipped the bag, and my spirits were lifted instantly. It was so plain it could blend into a white wall. I already loved it.
The lightweight garment slid over my head, down my body, and hugged me like it was made for me. I turned in the mirror, and my confidence increased. Even my butt looked good. I left the dressing room and stepped onto the pedestal.
Helen gasped. “It’s perfect. You’re just beautiful, Claire.”
Thea stood and drifted around me. “I love it. It’s so elegant and chic.”
I gazed at myself in the mirror just as the bridal assistant arrived with a veil. When she set it on my head, it was the first time I felt like a bride.
“My father will hate it.” I blurted and caught myself, clamping my hands over my mouth. “Please… please don’t tell him I said that.”
The assistant shook her head. “I consider myself something akin to a priest. Nothing said here leaves the shop.”
“I’m certainly not telling,” Thea grumbled.
Helen stood and walked to me. “It’s your wedding. You have to be comfortable with the dress.”
I chewed my lip as indecision gripped me. It quickly turned to anger. This was my wedding. MY wedding. I didn’t have my mom. I didn’t get to pick the groom. The invitations were something my father would like. The cake was for Lucas. Everyone else was getting something. Why couldn’t I have this? I stood up straighter as I found myself looking in the mirror again. “I’m picking whatever the hell I want for a dress, and this is it. My father will just have to suck it up.”
Day after day, I did what I was told to do, and no one, not since my mom died, had cared one whit what I wanted or thought or needed. I blamed my father for so many things, but I was equally to blame because I’d let him get away with it.
Not anymore.
I was done.
The best way to honor my mother was to grow a backbone and use my tongue.
They were brave words, and I meant every one of them, at least for the moment. I’d see how I felt in the morning.