11. Chapter 11
Fitz
“ W ell, she’s not dead…” Bishop said it like it meant something.
I turned away from the window in my chambers to stare at him. “That’s your consolation?” Trying to wipe away the stain of the last twelve hours, I rubbed my palm over my face. “Welcome to the royal palace, ladies. At least you won’t die here.”
My cousin frowned as though I was a belligerent child. “I don’t appreciate that tone. I think it’s rather lovely that she hasn’t died yet.” He slumped into the wingback chair and kicked his boots up on the table. “Imagine the paperwork we might have to file.”
“You’re incorrigible.” I turned back to face the window. “She’s not been gone four hours and you’re already talking in jest.” It wouldn’t matter if Esmerey was gone two weeks, I would still be reeling over the events. Nothing made sense. One moment she was the picture of health, and the next, she was fighting for her life. I thought she was choking by the way she was turning blue and clawing at her throat. The image would haunt me for years to come. But, as close as the physicians could tell, her organs had begun a rapid shut down process. It was as if she had begun to age at an accelerated pace with no explanation. Her family was notified and it was no surprise that they retrieved her at first light.
“I don’t see why you’re all beat up. You were going to send her home anyway.”
I clenched my jaw as I burned with annoyance. “Because, though I planned to send her home, I wasn’t planning to do it in a body bag.”
“And you didn’t. She’s right as rain.” Bishop paused. “Well, maybe more like a monsoon. Clearly, she’s not right, but that’s not your fault.”
“Isn’t it?” I exhaled slowly and turned to face him once more, sure that I would see the confirmation on his face. “Without this little game I orchestrated, none of this would have happened.”
“Yes, and you’d be marrying Esmerey and miserable for the rest of your life.” His boots scraped as he shifted them to the ground. “Stop wallowing. After all,” he grinned, “you have a date to get ready for, yeah?”
I slumped onto the couch across from him. “It feels wrong at this point, don’t you think?”
“Absolutely not.” He slapped his leg for emphasis. “This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. You have a choice to make and without all the information, how on earth could you make it?”
“Perhaps I could man up and marry the non-foreigner and stop all of this madness?”
Bishop rolled his eyes. “Would you stop falling on your sword for one moment? I swear, you are the most self-sacrificing ninny I’ve ever met.”
“I am not.” I leaned forward and pointed my finger at him. “I simply can’t find a way to make it work. You saw how they despise her.”
“And I’ve also seen how the people love her.” He pointed his finger at me. “And she held her own with your father, even with the difficult questions. She would be good for Nolcovia, and you know it.”
I rocked back into the cushions with a groan. “Of course, I know it. Watching her debate with him, it only made me love her more. But then, Sadira, she’s—”
“Sadie,” Bishop corrected me.
I frowned. “Lady Sadira is intriguing and kind. She would make an excellent queen and perhaps maybe one day we might fall madly in love…”
He waited for me to look at him again. “And yet, you’ve already fallen desperately in love with Michaela.”
“But with Coco it’s—”
“Michaela,” he corrected me.
“Same difference.”
“Not even.” Bishop leaned forward. “For you, Coco is the friend you had years ago, this figment of your imagination and a symbol of freedom from the responsibilities you face here. But, Michaela,” he made sure I was listening, “she’s the woman you fell in love with here. She represents a future you’re finally not running from.”
I opened my mouth to object, but I couldn’t. For years, I had always assumed Bishop was nothing more than a wandering philanderer, but apparently, he saw more than I thought he did. Maybe more than I did. After all, he was right. I’d been dreading my future, especially since my father became ill. I could never fully see myself in the role, not until I imagined Michaela as the queen at my side.
I opened my hands as if to show just how little I had in the way of prospects. “If you have all the answers, then what do I do?”
A sneaky grin peeked through. “It all starts with the date.”
We spent the next two hours planning the perfect date. We would spend the afternoon perusing the textile district in the capital. Bishop knew a few designers and had called in favors in order to allow us to see their most recent designs. While I had her distracted, Bishop agreed to prepare the second half of the date. I wanted to take her hiking through the mountains, despite the newly fallen snow. I knew the perfect clearing to spend the evening. By the time we arrived, the lights would be hanging from the trees and dinner would be waiting for us. We would spend the rest of the evening alone, watching the stars, and would spend the night camping outside like we used to. My heart raced just thinking about all that time alone.
“You know the cameras will follow you.” Bishop seemed intent on interrupting my daydream. “But I can put in a word with Tom. He likes me. We’ll have them cut out after dinner, once they have a few good shots of your snuggles, snogging, and getting ready for sleepy time.”
“That would be ideal.” I rose and walked to the armoire, considering the suit I would wear. “I hope she’s willing to leave the designers. I’m a bit concerned that once there an evening in the mountain chill will be—”
My chamber door pushed open with a thundering crack. I whirled around, ready for attack, but the invading army was only one person.
“Leonidas Ignatius Fitzborough!” Mother stormed into the room. “Under no circumstances are you to go out with that American girl. I won’t have it!”
My instinct was to cower like the boy I once was, but I stood my ground. “You don’t have a say in it, Mother. You agreed from the start that this would be my choice, and I plan to—”
“You want to talk about agreements?” Her voice turned shrill. She adjusted her coat and shot a withering glare at Bishop as if to silence him before he started. “You, dear boy, promised that she would not be a prospect if we allowed her to come.” Her hands trembled with anger. “You assured me that you would not fall in love with her.”
“Whoops,” Bishop whispered under his breath.
“It’s one date, Mother,” I tried to reason with her. “I have given the others the same time, and you know it wasn’t my choice to send Esme home.”
“Tell me,” her voice shook with fury, “tell me, Son, that you are not in love with her.”
“Mother, this is hardly the time to—”
“Tell me!”
I’d never seen her so unhinged. Her clothes hung at haphazard angles, as if she had dropped twenty pounds in a matter of weeks. Veins bulged in her neck and forehead like a roadmap to her rage. Every muscle in her body tensed to the point that I feared they would snap like tightly tuned violin strings. But what she was asking of me… I could not give.
“You know I can’t.” Why did my declaration of love sound more like a campaign general announcing defeat?
Her cold fury simmered, ready to spark. “I forbid you to see her again. You’ll end this charade. You’ll name Sadira—"
“Sadie.” Though Bishop coughed as he said it, it was still audible.
“—your bride,” she continued. “Or there will be consequences, Leonidas.”
I bristled at the threat. “What kind of consequences?”
Over the years, I’d heard rumors about the ugly side of my mother. The ruthless and cunning woman she’d once been. Legends were told amongst the staff of how exact and rigid she could be, all tempered by her love for me when I was born. But, perhaps, even that love had boundaries on what it could do.
“If you try to betray me,” she inhaled slowly through her nose, choosing her words with precision, “I swear, you will never see hide nor hair of your precious Coco again. And this time, you won’t save her. Do you understand me?”
“What?” I tried to scoff at her threat, but it came out weak. “You’ll deport her?”
A wry smile snaked into place, her lethal stare unwavering. “Trust me. You’ll wish I had deported her.” She turned on her heel and stalked from the room, hardly pausing for a moment to slam the door on her exit. The bang reverberated through my chest as if she’d slammed it on my heart. I’d doubted Bishop since he’d arrived. He kept poking at Mother’s ambition, and I brushed it off as a coincidence. But here I’d seen its ugly face for myself. No doubt remained. If she wanted to make Micheala disappear forever, she would do it and never lose a minute of sleep over it. Last time, I managed to leverage the adoration of the people and a possibility of revolt against her, but I doubted my ability to do it again. That was a surprise. This time she had time to plan.
“Clearly, you must defy her.” Bishop sat up in his chair, likely sensing my defeat. “She’s all wind, Leo. You’re the Crown Prince.”
“And she’s the queen,” I muttered. “At least for the time being.”
He readied as if to stand. “We just need a plan. We need to resituate and figure out how we will—”
“It’s tomorrow night!” I snapped. “The ball is tomorrow night, Bishop. I don’t have time for a plan! I don’t have time for happily ever after or riding off in the sunset!”
He cowered back slightly as if my outburst had surprised him. It was out of character for me, but this whole ordeal had me spinning. I couldn’t find a way. I couldn’t see how I could—
One night with her. Was it too much to ask?
One night to fuel a lifetime of unhappiness. Could we…
I spun around, mind on fire with planning. The contents of the desk drawer shifted as I yanked it open. I muddled through the miscellaneous items until I found the card. I quickly wrote my cryptic message, stuffed it in the envelope, sealed it, and turned to face my cousin.
“I know my mother. She will have ordered the staff to report any mischief on my part. I can’t rely on them.” I extended the card toward him. “Can I rely on you, Cousin?” I held his stare. “Can I trust you?”
Ghosts of our past flitted over his face, like emotions playing in rapid succession. Others had foundations to build on, but we had a matter of weeks’ worth of shaky ground. But, in reality, he was all I had.
Tension gripped the envelope as he pinched it in his grip. “With your life, Your Highness.”
I nodded, hoping I was right. “Get it to her as quickly as you can. I pray she understands it. If possible, destroy it before anyone else sees it. We can’t risk it. If Mother finds out…” I couldn’t bear to imagine the consequences for the woman I loved.
His brow creased. “What does the note say?”
I shook my head. “It’s better if you don’t know.”
Bishop considered my words but asked nothing more. With a slight bow, he turned and headed for the door. Before he left, I offered one last bit of advice.
“Bishop.” He turned back at the sound of my voice. “I suggest you consider who you would choose for a wife in case the lot falls to you. You’ll want to be prepared.”
His mouth opened slightly, then closed. He started to leave but hesitated, hand on the doorknob. “Are you planning to run away tonight, Your Highness?”
I exhaled slowly, unsure how to answer that question. “It’s up to the stars, Cousin.”