13. Chapter 13
Michaela
W hen I was about fifteen, my mom started giving me dating advice. It ranged from the practical, like trust men, but bring your wallet or you’ll be doing a lot of dishes , to the absurd, like never trust a guy who chews gum or walks across the front lawn. I have to admit, most of it proved helpful. Even that lawn one ended up being a hard pass when it came to Justin Barker, but that had more to do with the way he honked to pick me up and then yelled, “Yo, babe! Come on!” The lawn walking was the least of his issues and likely a coincidence.
I stared at my outfit in the mirror and shook my head. In all my years of listening to Mom, she had never weighed in on what to do or what to wear when going on a secret date with a Crown Prince in the middle of the night.
Maybe it wasn’t exactly textbook dating material.
Leave it up to me to wreck the curve.
Black fleece-lined leggings and a thick cable sweater, paired with a heavy jacket that had a fake fur halo hood, and boots with wool socks had me hoping I looked like an adorable snow bunny… not the Abominable Snowman. Not that I had any idea where I was going or what we were doing. I planned to follow my suspicion and hope I knew him well enough to interpret his cryptic message.
That plan started with opening the passage. I’d done it so many times, it had become second nature to me. The bronze frog shifted, the latch popped, and I ducked inside. Not typical though was the electric lantern that waited for me. I pulled the doorway closed and fastened the interior latch, then picked up the lantern. Once more, the message was repeated.
First right and straight on until the lantern light.
Midnight.
But this time, the note was accompanied by a rock arrow in the dirt, displaying the direction I needed to travel. Knowing he wouldn’t want any trace, I kicked the arrow apart as I moved, erasing the evidence of our sneaky plan.
About thirty feet in, I saw another arrow in the dirt, but this one veered right. Once more, I destroyed it before I followed. I’d traveled this tunnel many times before and I’d never seen this side passage. Fitz had mentioned it before, but I’d always been more excited to see him than to explore the secret tunnels without him.
The tunnel dipped downward into a spiral staircase. I focused on the stairs and the railing, and not the dizzying drop that likely waited for me. The dank air felt different than the other tunnel to his chambers. More than once, I second-guessed myself, assuming I’d gone the wrong way. If not for the arrows, I would have turned around, but if Fitz waited at the end, I would push through.
With the final stair, I stepped onto cobblestone. A breeze tousled my hair, but where was it coming from? If I was underground, as I assumed I was, there shouldn’t be any fresh air. I followed the rocky path, curiosity almost as high as my anxiety. If I was wrong, if I was following some unknown direction, I could be walking into a trap. My mind flashed back to thoughts of Esmerey’s fate. If someone planned that, what would stop them from planning something similar for me?
The path wound left and then right, a slight decline apparent, but nothing like the staircase that felt like it wouldn’t end. My lantern swung and illuminated the thick webs of spiders that lurked in the dark. Onyx shapes clung to the ceiling and on instinct I knew they were bats.
Oh, how I prayed they would stay asleep.
The scent in the air shifted to a sweet, floral aroma akin to a blossoming meadow in the spring. I narrowed my eyes as I pressed forward. My heart pounded in my chest, my breath shallow, as the surrounding silence grew deafening, leaving me paralyzed with the looming uncertainty of whether I was on the right path. I took the last turn and stared at the wooden wall that blocked my path. I ran my palms over the rough wood, searching for some latch or trigger to release me, but nothing gave way. Had I missed the marker? Was I on the brink of stumbling into the throne room, unwittingly about to commit an irrevocable transgression? My stomach twisted into knots. How did I get myself into situations like this?
The sound of squeaks overhead sent a jolt of adrenaline through my body. Instantly, my brain went to visions of bats tangled in my hair and screams no one would ever hear in this underground tunnel. Afraid the light would wake them more, I flicked the switch on the lantern and held my breath. Another squeak sounded, but it was more like a child protesting morning. One more, and then silence. Each breath escaped my lips in hushed whispers, cautious and shallow, as if afraid to betray my presence. When the silence continued, I opened my eyes and stared into the dark.
Stripped of the lantern’s warm radiance, the tunnel sank into impenetrable darkness. The tendrils of panic slithered at the perimeter of my mind, threatening to consume me, but I refused to succumb. Fitz wouldn’t leave me to fail. One of three things had happened.
Either I had lost my way and ended up where I wasn’t supposed to be, or someone had laid a careful trap for me, and had roped Bishop into the ruse.
I sighed. Or… there was a way out, but I couldn’t see it yet. Out of all of them, the last one felt the most unbelievable. “Come on, Fitz,” I whispered. Trying not to make a sound, I turned in place searching the darkness. As I was about to give up, I saw it. A thin sliver of warm light ten feet ahead, a part of the wooden wall. It only spanned three feet across, then three feet down, all at the base of the wall. Like a little… door. It had to be another lantern.
Ironically, I hadn’t been able to see it until I turned my own light off. I hurried toward it, eager to get out of the tunnel before I became claustrophobic. I set my lantern on the ground and then set my palms to the dark center of the illuminated square piece. Without much pressure, the tiny door swung open. On my stomach, I wriggled through, no longer nearly so concerned with my clothes and more worried about getting out again. But the other side of the doorway didn’t have the same cobblestone flooring. Instead, it was… straw.
I pulled myself from the tunnel and then pushed the door shut behind me. If Fitz wanted to go back the way we came, he was going to have to go first. No way was I going through bat alley again by myself again. I shuddered just thinking about it.
The crisp night air cooled my skin. I hadn’t realized how clammy it had become while I was in the passage. I took shallow breaths, knowing the cold would burn if I breathed too deeply. With every step I took, the straw beneath my feet made a faint rustling sound, adding a comforting ambiance to the otherwise desolate stall that had no trace of an owner. Somewhere, a horse snorted as if I’d startled it. Once more, I found myself worried this was all luck, and I’d landed in the royal stables by accident, not by Fitz’s design.
I gripped the latch on the stall gate and pulled it back, watching the rest of the stable with wary attention. The last thing I needed was for guards to pop out and seize me like I was some American horse thief. Gripping the lantern, I ventured into the rest of the stable. Most of the animals were sleeping. Puffs of vapor exploded from their noses as I disrupted their slumber. I apologized and moved on, nervously searching. Exhaling, my breath made a cloud in front of my face. One more step. That was all I would give him. Just one more…
My boot landed on something slick. My mind immediately went to the worst potential scenarios. Everything from a pool of blood, livestock manure, or a slug that I’d crushed underfoot. But when I peeled back my boot and put the light over it, I smiled.
Rose petals .
In all my panic, I’d missed the trail of rose petals on the ground that led to the mouth of the stable. Feeling comforted that I had found the right place, I followed the trail. Each step made my heart that much lighter. I stepped out of the stable and couldn’t help my reaction one bit.
After all, how often does the man of your dreams greet you with two fully saddled and gorgeous horses both bathed in Nolcovian moonlight?
“Thank the stars. I was beginning to worry.” The warmth in his eyes made the excitement in my chest turn nearly nuclear. “Fancy a ride, love?”
Fitz
My own escape from the palace hadn’t been easy, but my date certainly had a tale to spin. I smiled as we rode into the tree line and Michaela told me her tale of woe in the secret passages beneath the palace. To my credit, I’d never seen the bats. Another plan might have been in order if I’d known.
The gentle cadence of the horses made it impossible for her to find fear, even in the frozen land we traversed. The stairs, the escape hatch I’d used more times than I could count as a young lad, even all the creeping things, they felt like another world, another lifetime as we moved away from the palace grounds. Snow crunched under the horses’ hooves. The gentle brush of tree branches against Michaela’s coat rustled in the silence of the night. The deeper we moved into the forest, the darker it became. I’d brought up the same point to Bishop as he helped me hash out my new plan, but he assured me everything would be taken care of.
The full moon’s silvery glow cast enough light to stay on the path. I worried over the chill in the air, but Michaela showed no signs of concern. I urged my black steed forward. We had quite a bit of ground to cover before we arrived where I’d planned. From there… well, we would see where the night took us. My stomach still churned with doubt over the choices I’d made. Walking away from crown and country would not be an easy feat and the repercussions would likely follow me for the rest of my life. But everything depended on her answer and that was still likely hours away. In the meantime, I focused on the moonlit path in front of us. One foot in front of the other, traveling to a new future, one where she would hopefully join me.
Michaela
Maybe he was cold. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t talking. It wasn’t that Fitz was emotionally cold. Nervous, maybe, but he smiled and turned in his saddle to respond when I asked a question. But he didn’t engage in conversation like he normally would.
Granted, we were traveling through the forest that surrounded the palace. The same one, as I understood it, where we had reenacted The Snood. Dagny, before she was sent home, had shown me a map of the expansive Winderlam Forest. The day of the reenactment, we went to the far northeastern side where the original walls of the previous palace stood. But the new palace had been constructed on the exact opposite corner on the southwestern side.
The way Fitz navigated the trails, I had no doubt that he’d grown up riding this land. I blew out a puff of air. What was it about seeing your breath in the air that was so mesmerizing? I’d been doing it since I was a kid, and yet, I never got tired of it. Maybe it felt a bit magical. The one time I could actually see air, like it was frozen in place by a spell.
That was how the whole forest felt to me after being in Nolcovia for almost a month. It was otherworldly, trapped somewhere between fantasy and reality, and the forest was the barrier that kept the magic at bay. The leather reins slipped between my gloved hands as my horse pulled for more leeway. My horse’s pace quickened as if she knew more than I did and sensed an end. I hoped so. As much as I loved wandering in the wilderness with Fitz, it had to be close to 1 a.m. and the day wore on me. I felt as if we’d been riding for hours, but that was likely just my mind playing tricks.
My horse’s rib cage vibrated beneath my legs as she let out a gentle knicker at Fitz’s horse. Maybe she was as impatient as I was. I leaned forward to pat her graceful neck when the light ahead of me caught my eye. Like a golden beam of sunshine, the forest was illuminated with gentle, twinkling lights. What looked like thousands of tiny lights cascaded from the trees above us, a blanket of starry orbs. I stared as if I couldn’t trust what I was seeing. They wound around the trees, overhead, through the branches, small and large, bright and dull, but more than I could count.
“Fitz…” I couldn’t think of what came after that. What words could ever do it justice? “How did you—when did you—”
“I didn’t.” He turned his horse into the haven of lights and angled in his saddle to glance over his shoulder. “You know this forest is magic.”
I frowned at the way he was keeping a secret from me, but I didn’t harbor a grudge because the lights caught on tiny crystals that hung in the trees. Small rainbows scattered over the snowy ground. Too much longer and I was bound to believe him about all the spirits who lived in these woods.
My horse stopped abruptly, snapping me out of my trance. Like a ride at the fair, she had run into the horse in front of her and cued the end of our time together. Thankfully, Fitz waited on the ground, his reins in his hand. “Come on, then. There’s more.”
I set my reins forward on my horse’s neck and smirked. “More? My, your spirits have been busy, haven’t they?”
“Quite.” He motioned like he planned to help me. “Now hurry, I’m bound to freeze to death without some of your body heat.”
I transferred my weight to a stirrup, leaned forward, and swung my opposite leg over the back of the horse. Fitz’s hand braced my back as I stepped down. The crunch of the snow caught my landing, but a moment later, Fitz’s arm slipped around my waist, silently urging me to face him. I gave in easily, just as eager to be near him. Everything had changed between us and yet, we hadn’t had any time to process it together.
“Bishop is to thank for this,” he answered, as if he couldn’t keep the truth from me any longer. “He said he had a few loyal to his cause and they would get it done.”
“His cause?” I thought I knew what he meant, but I needed him to say it out loud.
“You,” a grin flickered at the corner of his mouth, “and me.” His gaze dipped to my mouth then retreated to my eyes again. “Us.”
We’d been ‘us’ before, for years really as friends, but this carried a new weight. My skin tingled at his touch, overwhelmed by this perfect moment. Us. Me and Fitz. Not just friends, but something more. Something deeper. Something we’d never given proper focus to, and somehow, against all odds, Fitz had stolen this moment in time for us to do exactly that. No contestants, no cameras, no royal family leering from the shadows. Just… us. The magic seemed to swell between us, urging us closer.
My mind tripped over something he said.
“Wait…” Fitz paused at my objection, a flash of worry on his face as though that was the worst thing I could say in the moment. I continued, “Who would have helped Bishop? Who‘s in his merry band of rebels?”
All his concern melted away to amusement. “Um, I’m not entirely sure, but I imagine a couple of the maids who have discreetly expressed their support, as well as a guard or two.” His fingers wove into my hair and pressed it away from my face before he hooked it behind my ear, but left his warm, gloved palm cupping my jaw. “And, of course, your biggest fan, Kabir. I had quite the chore convincing him that he need not accompany us tonight.”
That visual brought a smile to my face. Kabir, my massive bodyguard climbing trees and hanging delicate crystals. But it was even harder to imagine him giving up the idea of trailing behind us in the dead of night, likely on foot to ensure we were safe.
“He would crown you my queen tomorrow if he could,” Fitz teased. Instantly sobering, he gulped back some emotion before he whispered, “And he’s not the only one.”
Once again, the air felt like it had come alive with magic. My breathing quickened as he pulled near, lips brushing against mine. A puff of anticipatory air escaped over my lips and refracted off his face back into me, warm on my chilled skin. My body stayed in such suspension, I felt like if he didn’t close the final gap between us soon, I would shatter into a thousand pieces. As if granting the request, his lips captured mine.
The wave of anticipation crashed over me into passion and connection. His palm increased pressure on my jaw, as though he worried I might vanish in his arms. In turn, my hands clutched his jacket, tugging him against me to sink deeper into his arms and strength. I’d never felt this way before, like my body had been lit on fire with flames that created energy and excitement instead of pain. It coursed through me, calling me forward, seeking me out as we explored this new element in our relationship. The years of letters, friendship, connection, it all made everything else in my life pale. Every other kiss, every stolen moment had nothing on how deeply I adored Fitz on every level.
No, not adored. That belonged to a puppy or a good pair of shoes.
I loved him. Fully. Completely. What had he said at the banquet?
Oh, yes.
Desperately.
I desperately loved him.
Fitz broke the kiss, but stayed close to watch my face as if he had something to apologize for, but all I wanted was more of him.
“Sorry, I… um… that wasn’t,” his cheeks faintly blushed, “part of my itinerary tonight.” He cleared his throat. “At least not yet.”
“Oh, there’s an itinerary?” I couldn’t help but tease him.
Fitz frowned through his laughter as if he were thinking about it. “More like an agenda of items of importance to cover.”
“So romantic when you talk like that,” I goaded him. “How is a girl supposed to keep her wits about her?” I copied his accent for the last bit as a joke, but a flash of desire in his eyes made my heart leap into my throat.
His grip tightened on my waist. “Is it terrible of me to hope you don’t? Tonight, we could use a little less consideration and thought and a little more living.”
I opened my mouth to speak but the words escaped me. What did he have planned?
He cut off my thoughts with a quick kiss. “Come on, Lady Michaela. Your magical evening awaits.”
Taking the horses’ reins we fastened them to a tree and Fitz left a hay net for them to stay occupied in our absence. My hand in his, he led me over the snow to a separate clearing, also lit and bedazzled with hanging crystals. An enormous tree with branches that mimicked a canopy arched overhead, creating a shelter of fairytale standards. At the base of the tree, the snow had been cleared and large quilts covered the earth with stacks of other blankets nearby.
“Fitz…” My voice held warning as my feet hesitated. “What exactly do you have planned?”
He chuckled as if he was guilty but shook his head. “Nothing presumptuous, I assure you. I merely don’t want to freeze to death in the time we have together.” He bent and retrieved a thick quilt to extend it to me. “Feel free to wrap yourself up like a mummy to keep my paltry hands off of you.”
I took the quilt and released his hand, still eyeing him with a comical wariness. “I suppose that’s a good enough excuse.” Satisfied with his answer and suggestion, I wrapped the thick quilt around my shoulders and let it cocoon my frame.
He knelt on the blankets and nodded at a nearby thermos. “Come on then, I know your fondness for cocoa on cold nights.”
Well, he had me there. When we were kids, he used to sneak out on the weekends, climb the tree outside my window, and we would sneak out to watch the stars with mugs of cocoa made from a generic brand of powdered mix, extra marshmallows for his.
As if reading my mind, Fitz pointed at the lights that twinkled overhead. “I knew we couldn’t see the stars from within the forest, so I had them brought down to you instead.”
It warmed my heart to see the way he’d tried to reenact the parts of our past that we both held sacred. I knelt on the quilts as Fitz made quick work of pouring the cocoa into mugs he’d fetched from the chest. Close as I could tell, Bishop had thought of everything. If Tom was smart, he would scoop him up to work as a producer on his reality shows. The perfection of the moment had me forgetting it was well after midnight, somewhere around freezing, and this sort of behavior was probably punishable by death. All I could see was my best friend becoming the man of my dreams.
At least until my hand wrapped around the mug. That quickly reminded me of how cold I’d become on our ride. I breathed in the steam that rose, intoxicated by the aroma of rich chocolate and cream. I looked up to find Fitz watching me, an expression of wonder painted across his features.
“This is a far cry from our powdered mix and stale marshmallows, Fitz.”
My words broke his trance and he smirked. “I would say much has changed between us since those days, wouldn’t you agree?”
I couldn’t keep eye contact for too long. His dark eyes left me breathless and tingly. My mind immediately went to that kiss we’d shared only a few minutes ago. I wanted more. I wanted to sink into him and get lost, but what was the point? We were at an impasse. His father didn’t like me. His mother hated me. The law said we couldn’t be together and—
“Did you ever… have feelings for me when we were younger? Any attraction at all?”
His question drew me out of my internal world and pushed me back to the past. “Um, I…” It felt like a test, and I worried I might fail, but all I had was the truth. “Honestly? No. We were just kids, and you were my best friend. My only friend for a little while. I wouldn’t have been willing to risk it.” I pressed my lips together and waited for his reaction, but I didn’t see any disappointment, only introspection. I tilted my head. “Why? Did you?”
Fitz looked down at his mug, smirk deepening by the second. “Um… once, but nothing came of it.”