15. Chapter 15
Fitz
H ow could I make her see? How could I explain the way she meant more to me than anything ever had? That my whole life had been waiting on her, and I never knew it until she came back to me? Instead of words, I poured it into my kiss. My fingers tunneled into her hair, pulling her closer, erasing any doubt of my intentions or affection for her. When I looked at her, all I could see was the future. Whether it would be in Nolcovia or somewhere else, I didn’t care anymore. Michaela was all that mattered. Together we would make the future we wanted.
The cold evaporated as we stayed in the moment. Winter had nothing on the fire that burned every time we touched. How I loved her. I’d fooled myself for too long, thinking I could live without her, but never again. I refused to let her walk away.
Needing air, I broke the kiss, but kept my hand wrapped around the back of her neck, hair still threaded through my fingers. She still hadn’t answered me. Coco met my gaze, breathless and full of wonder. Why hadn’t she answered me?
A horrible thought twisted in my gut.
“Don’t you want to marry me?” I voiced the question before I had the sense to stop myself. Once it was out there, the churning sensation only intensified. I hadn’t considered the alternative. The only answer I expected was yes and yet…
“It’s sudden,” she whispered. Her gaze dropped, unable to maintain my stare. “You have to admit that it’s sudden, Fitz. All of this is moving so fast, and it’s not like you’re only asking me to marry you.” Her sapphire eyes met mine again. “You’re asking me to be the queen.”
“Only if they agree,” I countered. “I told you, I’m willing to leave for you. I’ll give up everything, if that’s what it requires.”
“And what if that’s too much?” Her eyes widened as her breathing quickened with panic. “What if I can’t handle being the reason you step away from all of this?” Michaela pulled away from me and rose to her feet. “I want to follow my heart, Fitz, but this is a huge decision.”
The cold rushed in around me in her absence. Winter understood what I was losing and it wanted to remind me of how old I’d felt in my loneliness before her. I stood quickly, not even close to surrender.
“It’s late, Fitz. We should go back.”
I knew that tone. I’d heard it before. Once, when our English teacher refused to change a grade, despite her hard work. Another time when her mother refused to cave and let me spend the night on a school night. The last time when I couldn’t change my flight to stay one more week with her. That tone was resignation. She was giving up.
“We should,” I agreed, but despite that, I pulled my phone from my pocket and prayed Bishop had come through. With the click of a button, a soft instrumental played from the trees. Oh, the wonder of Bluetooth and batteries. I extended my hand to her. “But first, dance with me?”
Michaela
If I put my hand in his, I couldn’t be held responsible for my choices. The lights, the music, the man who stood before me, it would have brought down stronger women than me and I wasn’t feeling real stalwart at the moment.
“Let me live that moment that Tanner stole from me. Let me have the dance that should have been mine.” Fitz grinned as if he knew he’d already broken me. “Please, m’lady?”
My hand slipped easily into his, a puzzle piece locking into place. His arm wrapped around me, warm, welcoming… home . That’s what he represented to me, a home for my heart. Ever since moving out, I’d been struggling to find where I belonged and I couldn’t deny that I’d found it with him. But what did it mean? How could I make this decision?
Unable to find peace in my mind, I sought it out in him. The gentle sway of our bodies felt like a conversation of its own.
My worries. His reassurance.
My concern. His care.
Our love. Our connection.
Couldn’t the song go on forever? We didn’t stop when the song ended. Not that one. Not the next one. Or the one after that. I burrowed my face into the crook of his neck, not only seeking warmth, but seeking him. Could I really live without him? Who was I trying to fool? Just like he said, my heart belonged to him and it always would.
“What if I’m not enough?” I pulled away, just far enough to meet his eyes. “What if we do this, and I’m a terrible queen and an even worse wife? What if they make you walk away and abandon all of this? What if you regret it?”
Lines appeared between his brows, deepening with every worried word I uttered. A gentle shake of his head gave me his position on the topic early. “Not possible.” Our sway stopped. His hands shifted from my waist to cup my chilled cheeks in tender warmth. “The only path of regret that exists is the one that leads away from you.” He drew in a slow breath. “Marry me, Michaela. Whatever that looks like. Whatever life throws at us. Marry me.”
Goosebumps prickled all along my arms. Shivers shook my frame, but he still held me steady. My mind flashed back to that cavern, to those hours that stretched for eons, never knowing if I would ever be found and yet sure that Fitz would never stop trying.
Because it was always him and me.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
It took a full five seconds for it to register. Raw and perfect joy seized his features as he finally realized what I’d said. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me tight. Wrapping me in a love that would stay forever.
Come what may.
If only I had an idea what that looked like.
Fitz made quick work of the saddles and horses while I waited, a bit dazed by the night’s turn of events. We rode back in some kind of dreamy, love-soaked delirium. Engaged, but no one would know until tomorrow. Our plan depended on the shock of his decision. Both Sadie and I would attend the ball. Near midnight, the cameras would record the final choosing ceremony live. And Fitz would say my name, not hers.
But would the pressure of cameras and the pull of love’s heartstrings be enough to carry us through? Or was Fitz about to lose everything for me?
“Hey.” His arm slipped around my waist as we stood in the stable. He slid the latch through the lock on his horse’s stall before he pressed a kiss to my lips. “It’ll work out. As long as we have each other, we’ll be fine.” With a grin, his gaze dipped to my mouth before he leaned closer. I never tired of his kiss. I drank it in, bending to his desire, eager for a life with him.
My soulmate.
My friend.
My true love.
“Ahem.” Someone cleared their throat from the mouth of the barn. Fitz spun me away, shifting me behind him as if to protect me. He held up the lantern, ready to fight, but Kabir only chuckled. “At ease, Your Highness. It’s only me.”
Fitz nodded and sighed his relief. “I should have known you would be watching.”
“Someone has to watch your back.” He smirked. “And some of us can’t sleep until we know her answer, Your Highness.”
I peeked around Fitz, unable to hide my smile. “You don’t want to wait to find out with the rest of the country?”
“After years of military service, m’lady, I’m afraid I’ve gotten bad at patience.” Kabir’s eyes narrowed as though he sensed something. “But you both appear rather chuffed, don’t you?”
Fitz pulled me close. “Then I think you have your answer, my friend.” He cast a worried look toward the palace. “I don’t suppose you can get her back in unnoticed? The way she came wasn’t… secure.”
I almost offered to go, bats and all, but Fitz tightened his grip, like a secret message not to speak. Did he keep the secret passages hidden from even his security detail?
I thought he trusted Kabir.
“As you wish, Your Highness.” Kabir cleared his throat. “I’ll give you time to say goodnight.” With a curt bow, he turned and exited to wait for me.
“What province is Kabir from?” The question popped out without much thought, but, by the same token, instinct told me I needed to know.
“I honestly can’t remember. Princeborough, perhaps. Many guards come from there. They had royal roots at some point, but the lines were contaminated.” He frowned, but it quickly morphed to a smirk. “Concerns, my future queen?”
I shot a glance at the mouth of the stable, unable to put my thoughts into words. “No, I guess not. It just struck me how little I know about the man who is supposed to protect me with his life.”
Eyebrows high, he tilted his head to capture my gaze again. “His allegiance is yours, I swear it. You can trust him.” I must not have looked thoroughly convinced because he added, “You can trust me .”
It softened me. That was a truth I could latch onto. “Of course I can.”
His lips met mine, urgent and passionate, as he tried to convince any lingering parts of my mind that I was safe. When we parted, my worries were far away.
“Tomorrow night,” Fitz whispered. “Everything will change.”
I nodded and kissed him quickly. “It can’t come fast enough.”
With a squeeze to my hand, he relinquished my care to Kabir. I quickly brushed aside my worries as late-night paranoia. Tomorrow things would be clear.
Fitz was right.
Tomorrow everything would change.